The Complexities of Partnership
by Latenightmom
Summary: SEQUEL-to Shut Up and Dance. Alicia decides to take Will's offer as name partner. Being partners is complex, and harder than either of the expected, even with Peter out of the picture now. With issues in and out of the office will these two be able to make partnership work, or will it all crumble? Very AU, takes place mid season 5.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N While this is sequel you do not need to have read Shut up and dance to follow this. The only things you really need to know are that Alicia decided to partner with Will instead of going with Cary. Diane takes the judgeship. Alicia decides to divorce Peter very swiftly after he cheats on her again, and partly due to that Will and Alicia end up spending the night together. Alicia tries to convince Will they shouldn't take the Jeffery Grant case. That all takes place in one single day. It wasn't until the next morning Will and Alicia end up sleeping together. This story begins ten weeks after that long day. Please review, and feel free to ask any questions. A big thanks to the guest readers, and the few others of you, you know who you are, who encouraged my continued writing these past few weeks.**

 **The Complexities of Partnership**

To say that the past ten weeks had been complicated was a complete understatement. And now this new issue that hadn't been confirmed or diagnosed, if diagnosing her suspicions, was even what it should be called, scared her to death as she sat in court. In court on a case she would likely lose. A case they should have gone with her first suspicions on, and never taken. But with the client fall out after news of her divorce, and Diane leaving to become a judge, she felt guilty. And therefore felt responsible for bringing in business. Especially now that it was part her firm. Part her firm, but for how long before Will let others walk all over them.

Will told her the client loss didn't matter, they would get new clients, and many of their top clients had stayed out of respect for her or Diane's decision. But she had watched him over the weeks and she could read the worry in him. The worry and stress was more obvious when they had to go over budget issues, or when they talked about the New York branch. Then of course there was the argument they had had two days ago. An argument that had caused them to hardly speak in the forty eight hours since.

All of this and more was running through her mind as she was brought out of her thoughts by the judge who had called for the lawyers to approach the bench. As she stood to meet her co council Brett, a very good third year who she decided to pull in on the case, the nausea and stomach pain hit her again. She held onto the table in front of her for a brief moment pretending to look at her notes, and took a deep breath to try and gain control over her body. She then moved over to the bar next to Brett.

As she stood there the abdominal pain got worse, and her head began to throb. A minute later she realized she'd been paying no attention, and had missed the question aimed directly at her. It had gotten quiet, and everyone's eyes were on her.

"Alicia are you alright?" Brett asked.

Her eyes moved quickly from the judge to Brett to Finn Polmar the prosecutor. Realizing she soon wouldn't be alright she looked back to the judge.

"Your honor I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling well. I may need to excuse myself for the remainder of the day."

Brett looked at her quizzically, and the judge noticing her pale complexion wasn't about to argue. "Yes, that's fine Mrs. Flor... Ms. Cavanaugh." Alicia turned her lips up words forming a slight smile and nodded before turning back to the defense table. It was still a common mistake people made calling her by her former name. She grabbed her bag, and gave one last reassuring look at her client Jeffery Grant, before exiting the courtroom and rushing for the restroom.

A few minutes later she splashed some cold water onto her face, and stared at her image in the mirror. She'd lost some weight in the previous weeks, she knew this, but staring at herself in the mirror she was now realizing it was quite noticeable. It made sense. There had been days where she'd barely been able to keep anything down. Four weeks ago she thought she had a flu bug, and with the transition at work she'd been exhausted, and hadn't eaten well. It had only been in the past two weeks, when her flu like symptoms hadn't gone, where she'd almost come to the frightening conclusion that she might be pregnant. Four weeks had passed since she should have her period. Ten weeks since she had been with Will. She hadn't dared take a pregnancy test trying to avoid the inevitability she was worried she would have to face. But if she was pregnant this was different from her other two pregnancies. The nausea came and went sometimes two or three days in between bouts, not constant like it had been with Zach and Grace. The headaches and periodic intense abdominal pain was completely new. Maybe, _hopefully_ , she thought to herself, it was something else. Something that wouldn't make things more complicated than they already were. Something that could be fixed in a few days or weeks with medication. Either way this had gotten bad enough that she knew she needed to see a physician. One more log to add to the already chaotic fire. She sighed relieved she could go home and rest then turned to leave the restroom. As she reached for the door knob she froze when she heard what sounded like gun shots followed by screaming.

Will was standing before the witness hammering him with question after question, he was sure to win this case. Then the sound of gun shots permeated the room. Everyone in the courtroom stopped for a minute trying to register what they had just heard. Will turned to the doors at the back of the courtroom. The shots sounded close, and people were now running in the halls outside. The few people in court began to file out, Will followed. Once outside he saw Kalinda.

"What happened?"

"There were shots fired in the courtroom." She pointed to the courtroom down the hall closest to where they stood. Panic set in and he began to move quickly to the other courtroom. "Will they won't let you in." Kalinda said following right behind. "Alicia's in there." he said still moving through the crowds all heading in the other direction. Suddenly the argument he had with Alicia two days ago didn't seem to matter, now he was worried he'd never have a chance to make things right.

 _I should have never let her take this case, and I should have listened to her two days ago. Please be alright, I promise to fix this, just be alright._ He thought to himself as he neared the security. _  
_  
Kalinda was right. The security officers weren't letting anyone into the courtroom. Word had gotten out that one person was dead, and two badly injured. Will and Kalinda hadn't seen Alicia in the halls this only made the anxiety worse. Only a few minutes had passed, but Will couldn't take it any longer he had to know, he had to help her if she was hurt. He tried to push past the guards at the door, but strong arms grabbed his, and held him back. "Let go, my partner is in there. I have to help her." he protested, anger rising through him.

"We can't let you go in, the gunman is still in there." Kalinda knew the officer, and was about to intervene, when a familiar voice called his name.

"Will, Kalinda" Both immediately turned in the direction of her voice, relief and shock taking over.

"What happened? It sounded like gun shots." Kalinda noticed how pale Alicia looked. Will just hurried over to her wrapping his arms around her. "Your okay" he said as she pulled away. "I'm? Yes, what happened? Where is Brett?"

"We aren't sure. There was gun fire in the courtroom. One dead, two injured." Kalinda said. Alicia grabbed her stomach feeling another bout of nausea coming on. This time more due to the fact that her employee might be dead, and how she may very well have just missed a brush with death. She grabbed onto Will's arm for stability. "We have to get in there, he might be hurt or worse." She said as her own words began to sink in.

"The paramedics will be here in a minute, we should stay out the way." kalinda said. "Alicia how... why..." Will couldn't form the words he was still coming down from the shock that he'd come close to possibly losing her.

"I had to take a short break. An important phone call." She lied. She wasn't about to get into the possible beautiful mess they may have created a few months earlier.

Just then the paramedics arrived hurrying past them. All three stood motionless as the paramedics entered the courtroom, and came back out one gurney at a time. The first to come out was Finn, the paramedics frantically working on him. The second the witness they had been questioning, he seemed more stable. And the third, the third the one who hadn't made it Brett. As soon as she saw him she grabbed onto Will gasping. "No, no, no. this is all my fault." He grabbed her hand, but she quickly pulled away and ran down the hall heading straight for the restroom once again. It took Will slightly off guard.

"She's not doing well Will."

"I know, but can you blame her. She just came close to a possible death. And how am I going to convince her that this isn't her fault?"

"That's not what I mean Will." he turned and looked at Kalinda a bit confused. "That's not what you mean?"

"She's ill, very ill. She's been ill for at least two weeks. Maybe longer. She's lost more weight than one should even with all the stress in her life. And I'd put money on a bet that she didn't have to leave the court room earlier to make a phone call. That isn't like her at all, and you know it."

"Well if she's sick why wouldn't she say something? Why wouldn't she at least tell me? Two weeks it would have to be something pretty serious. What could she have that would last that long?" Just then Alicia returned.

"Listen I need to take the rest of the day off. I have some things I need to take care of for the kids." Another lie, "but one of us should go see Brett's wife." Will was still caught up in what Kalinda had said.

"Will"

"I'll go. You should go do what ever it is you need to do for your kids." he said. "Are you sure?" she said not being able to read the perplexed look on his face. "Because after the other day... I." There may have been a brief pause in their arguing, but the tension between them was still there. "It's fine Alicia. I'll go."

"I'll go with him." Kalinda offered, knowing Alicia probably needed to go home to rest.

"Ok. Thanks. I'll see both of you tomorrow." and she turned and left before anyone could say anything else. Will watched her until she rounded the corner. Kalinda was right, and he hadn't noticed. She had lost weight, and she looked so pale when she had shown up a few minutes earlier. How had he gone from noticing everything about her, being able to read all of her cues, and knowing when she was happy, when she was sad, or worried, to not noticing this, or anything else in just a matter of a few weeks. He knew the answer, and he immediately felt guilty about it.

"Will this isn't any of my business, and I try not to pry, but have you and Alicia..." She paused for a second. He turned and looked at her. "Have Alicia and I what?"

"Been close... you know since the divorce."

"Well sure, we're partners now, and I told her I'd be there for her if she needed anything." Another wave of guilt hit. "I told her that she wouldn't have to go through the mess of Peter alone this time." It was then that he realized what Kalinda was really asking, and put two and two together. Filled with shock he stared at her. "You need to talk to Alicia. I know you two haven't exactly been getting along the past few days, but you need to talk to Alicia." He avoided discussing it further. "We should go. I'll meet you back at the office." He turned and walked down the hall.

On her way home she stopped by the drug store, and bought a pregnancy test, along with some ginger ale. As soon as she got home she took the test. Three minutes later she sank down into her bed, covering herself in the warm blankets. The test read negative. She cursed herself for not buying a second one as she drifted off to sleep.

After the heartbreaking meeting with Brett's wife, Will went back to the office. He didn't do an ounce of work. He spent the hours into the evening sitting in his leather chair staring out the window. Thinking of all the possibilities, he went in one continuous round. Going from a state of bliss if this were true, to anger because she hadn't said anything to him yet, over and over again. Finally he decided the thing to do was to confront her. He knew where she was it would be easy to just show up and insist they talk. Yes she would be angry at him, but he deserved to know if this were true.

He arrived at her front door thirty minutes later. It was near eight. Grace answered the door. "Oh hey Will." Grace said with a smile. "Hi Grace. Is your mom here?" he said smiling back at her. "She is, but she's sleeping. She's really sick, she went back to bed about a half hour ago. Do you need her for something? I could wake her." If Grace knew anything she hid it well. He thought of waking her only for a brief moment before inwardly smacking himself for even thinking of such a thing. "No, I can talk to her tomorrow. Thanks Grace." He turned and started walking towards the elevator. "I'll tell her you stopped by."

"No, it's ok, I'll see her tomorrow." Then he stepped into the elevator. As he drove home he knew sleeping that night would be a nearly impossible feat.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Wow thanks so much for all the support on this one. This chapter, and the next couple will take place prior to the first chapter. This one starts nine weeks prior to the shooting. Please let me know if there is any confusion so I can clear it up, and feedback is very helpful!**

 **9 Weeks Earlier**

"You're really going to try and put Alicia in as Diane's replacement?" David Lee said as he stormed into Will's office. Will looked up from the pile of files on his desk. "I've' been here from the beginning. Family law brings in a third of the firms business. I stayed two years ago, I saved this firm from going under two years ago. I could have left and taken my business with me." He had moved in front of Will's desk. "Without me there wouldn't be a firm today. You and Diane would have driven it right into bankruptcy two years ago without me. I should have at least been given the courtesy of being asked if I wanted the position." He paused for a brief moment.

"Hi David good to talk to you too." Will said coolly, yet calmly. "Diane and I appreciate your— _devotion,_ to the firm over the years, even if was income driven, but this is my decision, and I want Alicia to take Diane's place."

"Aside from pissing me off, and the fact that we have already lost a few clients due to her "Divorce", you do realize how this will look if she gets voted in right?"

Will stood, heat rising within him. ""How what would look?"

"We all know the only reason you chose Alicia is because you two have a thing." David spat back.

"A thing?" he said placing his hands on his desk leaning in closer to David. A few outside in the halls had stopped to watch the confrontation. Alicia had just come off the elevator getting back from lunch.

"Don't play me for an idiot Will. You and Alicia have— _feelings_ for each other, or maybe you just sleep with each other, but you have a thing, a personal thing that's gone on for five years, and it's effected your judgment in this decision." He said with a sly grin.

Will straightened back up and began to walk around his desk towards David. "The only thing effecting my decision is what's best for this firm. And Alicia is what's best for the firm. She is a good lawyer, one of our best. She's done more, won more cases in her five years here than anyone else in litigation."

"Yes, because you have hand picked cases for her, and given her more opportunity in court than anyone else. The only reason we made her a partner over the other fourth years last year was because of her ties to Peter, it looked good, and if he won the Governorship we knew it would bring in business. And it did."

"That's not true. We made Alicia partner because she earned it, and when it came down to the facts, the hard core facts, she was better than the others. I chose her for Diane's slot because she'll do a good job. She understands the law, and how a firm works. She will help build our clientele, not to mention she's a woman, and well liked. That's a bonus for the firm. I chose Alicia because it's smart business. And just for the record Alicia and I don't have a thing. Even if we did it would be none of your, or anyone else's business. This is work, and that would be personal. Some of us know how to separate the two. Clearly you don't"

"Oh, no, no, no, you don't get to put this back on me." David said pointing finger. "I do know how to separate the two, it's you who doesn't. You know full well that Julius or I deserve Diane's spot over Alicia. And that your persona feelings for Alicia made this decision."

Diane walked into Will's office, calmly closing Will's door. Alicia watched from a distance deciding whether or not to join them.

"Will you two get it under control." Both men turned surprised at the interruption. "People, clients are watching, listening, _Alicia,_ is watching. This is not a discussion for everyone in this office to overhear. I swear sometimes it's like parenting a bunch of eight year olds around here." She stood right next to David glaring with her hands on her hips. Will felt a tinge of guilt knowing Alicia must have heard some of the discussion.

"You support him in this decision?" David says turning to Diane.

"Yes I do, and you should too. It's a smart decision. I've already told my clients Alicia will likely be taking over their cases. Some of them, top clients, _clients_ who bring in a lot of money to the firm, support that decision. But some will jump to other firms if they don't have the name on the letterhead backing them up."

"And what about the clients who want stability?"

"They'll have stability." Will cuts in.

"When have you ever known Alicia to have a stable life? She's in the public eye constantly. And don't think for one minute that it will go away any time soon. Her divorce is not running as smoothly as you two think it is. And the things I know could hurt her and the firm."

"Oh really David, what things?" They all turned to see Alicia closing the door behind her. "Because David the last I checked both Peter and I had signed the petition for divorce. We've both disclosed our financials, and custody has been worked out. Peter was not planning on contesting any part of this. All that's left is to appear before the judge next week, and the thirty day waiting period to be up." She moved next to Diane. Even though Will felt guilty she even had to be part of this conversation, he could not deny how much he loved her in her, don't even think about messing with me mode.

"You and I can discuss the divorce, _later._ Attorney client privilege you know." Now Will and Alicia were both glaring at him. "And just to prove I can keep things separate, I won't let my handling of your divorce effect this partnership decision."

"David the way I see it, is that you and Will both have a chance at getting who you want put into my slot. You both need a majority vote of the equity partners to either put you or Alicia in. Unless Will just decides he wants to run the firm on his own, which he can choose to do. Will has his people and my people backing him up. That leaves us with a majority. The vote is in one week. Good luck trying to sway things in your favor." Diane says folding her arms.

"I could take my business somewhere else you know. If I left this firm would be in trouble financially."

"You won't leave David." Will chimes in. "This place is too easy, to cushy for you. You do a great job, but you have so much control over those under you, you would hardly have to do any work if you didn't want to. Starting your own firm would be a lot of work, and cost a lot of money. If you don't get the votes, you'll still stay. I'm calling your bluff right now." Will turned and went back to sit in the chair at his desk. Will was playing it cool, but it was only Alicia who could see the slight hint of worry in his eyes. She knew as well as everyone else in the room that if David left, things would be ruff.

"Well may the best man win David." Alicia says. "You should talk to Julius, maybe he wants to have a chance to vie for the seat as well. You know make things even more interesting around here this next week."

"Oh I'll win this Alicia. Just wait, this time next week I'll be the one re decorating that office." He said pointing to Diane's office. He turned to leave. "Come to my office, there's been a _complication_ with the divorce." After he left Alicia rolled her eyes. And turned to Will and Diane. "We have enough votes right?"

"Yes, don't worry about it Alicia. David just likes to make a lot of noise." Will said. She looked from him to Diane who nodded affirmatively. "Ok, well I need to go see what's wrong with my divorce. Then I have the pleasure of meeting with…" She stopped to contemplate. "On second thought I should cancel that." And she left the room. Failing to mention she was supposed to do an interview with a journalist whom she trusted, but with this recent exchange she figured she better cancel before she was caught blind sided. She made the call on her way to David's office.

"I didn't just lie to her did I? We have enough votes right?" Will says looking up to Diane. "Right now we do, but if David makes a big fuss, that could change. We need to sure up the votes this next week." He nods as she turns and leaves his office.

Late that evening, Alicia stood staring out the window in her office watching the cold December snow fall outside. It had been a long day. It had been a long week. She had survived the initial wave of reporters and looks, after the divorce had been announced. But as she stood there she began questioning everything, and everyone. The hazard of to little sleep, and the need to be on constant guard. She knew Will supported her, the kids supported her, but in the quiet of the late hour she felt very alone.

"You're still here?" Will asked walking into her office. "I" she turned to face him. "I was just getting ready to leave." She sighed

"Listen, about earlier. I shouldn't have let David get to me like that. I'm sorry for,"

"Will its ok. We both knew this wasn't going to be easy, and we both know how David can be." Not looking up and avoiding his gaze she turned to clean up the files on her desk, and shut down her laptop. She was suddenly more tired than she realized, and wasn't in the mood to talk, even if she needed to.

"Yes, we did but,"

"Is it true?" She stopped and looked up at him. "Is what true?"

"That the only reason I made partner over the other fourth years, was because of Peter?"

"What? No, of course it isn't. You earned partnership Alicia. I told you that the very next day. You're good at what you do, very good." He had gotten closer and put his hands on her shoulders. She loved to feel his touch, but she moved away. "Will we can't, you can't be so close."

He sighed, "We are the last ones here. I checked." This put her at some ease, but not completely. "Ok, but Will we still have to be careful. We haven't _defined_ anything yet, and we can't, I can't right now. Everyone will be scrutinizing every move you and I make over the next while." He knew she was right. "Alicia I'm just concerned about you. I don't have any expectations right now."

She turned her attention back to her files. She could feel the lump in her throat, but she didn't want to do this, she didn't want to cry in front of him again.

Sensing something was wrong, "Alicia what's wrong?" Silence as she continued to put paper back into ther files. He moved close again she both hated and loved how he could make every ounce of worry flood from her when he was just inches away. He took her hand forcing her to let go of the file in it. She turned and looked at him.

"Work aside how are you? How are the kids?" She pulled her hand from his stepping back a bit.

"There are photos Will." Confusion filled his features. "Photos?"

"Of us." A tear escaped. "From last weekend."

"Alicia we knew there would be. We're ready with answers we talked about this." He stepped close again.

"No not of us dancing, of you opening the door for me to your car. Of us getting out of the car and taking the elevator to your apartment. There's one of us leaving together the next morning." She handed him the envelope David had given her earlier. He took it, and opened it He sighed, and moved to sit on her couch after flipping through the photos. "That's why he said what he did about us earlier."

"That would be my guess." She said sitting down next to him.

"Where did they come from?"

"My guess, someone thinking they are looking out for Peter's best interests."

"Do you think Peter had you followed?"

"No, it's not like him. Honestly I bet he didn't know anything about it." She moved to the couch and sat next to him, then leant back and closed her eyes.

"Is this the divorce complication?"

"One, Peter's seen these, it was his lawyer who showed them to him. Peter now thinks I was a little to hasty in my decision, especially if I was sleeping with you when the photos of him came out."

"But you weren't."

"No, but when did the truth ever matter? It won't matter, not to the press anyway. I talked to Peter, and I think I convinced him, but if these photos get out it'll mean lower approval ratings for him, and we may lose more clients. I'm angry at Peter, but he's a good politician. He's good at what he does. He'll do good things for this state. I don't want to be the cause of his political fall out. I don't want to be the cause of the loss of our clients, or the reason the firm loses its entire family law department. That isn't fair to you."

"You won't be the cause of any of those things. Peter will bounce back, he always does. And we will deal with David Lee." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Are the photos going to get out?"

She laughed slightly. "I have no idea. I've given up on guessing what will and won't be in tomorrow's news cycle."

"Well until they do, let's not worry about it. You said that was one issue, what else is going on?"

"You don't want to spend the night hearing about all my issues."

"Actually I do, I meant what I said last week Alicia, you're not doing this alone."

She sighed again, opening her eyes. "Okay fine, next, when I accepted equity partner Peter leant me four of the six hundred thousand I needed for the capital contribution."

"And he wants it back?"

"Yes, I still owe him three of the four. I don't have three hundred thousand extra lying around. And he didn't seem to anxious to let me keep up with our current repayment agreement, which is paying him back whatever amount I can afford from month to month. You know how a partner's salary works. It fluctuates from month to month until you get your portion of the earnings at the end of the year."

"Ok once you're name partner we'll borrow the amount against the firm and you can pay Peter back in full. That way he can't hold it over you."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea. I don't even know if we can do that."

"We'll work it out. Next issue."

"No, I'm tired." She turned and looked out the window one more time. She loved his company, his presence. She had to avoid the weak in the knees sensation she knew would come if they stayed sat so close. She hated how vulnerable she felt. "Better get home before it gets worse out there." She patted his knee and stood up to gather the rest of her things. He knew not to push her. "Ok drive safely, and call me if you need anything over the weekend." She smiled and turned to look at him as he got up.

He caught the slight seductive look she gave him. "You mean like a hot cocoa buddy tomorrow night when the kids are with Peter kind of need!"

He smiled sheepishly playing into her slight flirtation. "Exactly! I can make a real mean cup of hot cocoa!"

"I know!" raising her eye brows. "With real chocolate, just the right amount of milk, and marshmallows!" They both pause remembering the time nearly three years prior when he made his secret recipe for her. Then their eyes met the photos on her desk. She sighs, "Hot cocoa may have to wait."

"You're probably right. See already making good decisions for us, even if I don't like it!"

A smile crossed her lips. "I'll call you tomorrow. We can at least _talk_ hot cocoa!"

He smiled then turned. "I look forward to it! Talk to you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow" She said as she watched him retreat back down the hall towards the elevators.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Eight Weeks Ago**

"We have enough votes right?" Alicia said nervously as she walked into Will's office.

"Yes, don't worry. You talked to your people, I talked to mine, Diane talked to hers. Last count last night we were ahead by five votes."

"Yes, but that was before we lost two more clients this morning."

"What clients?" He looked at her confused. "The Nichols, and the Duncan's. Two of my clients. It seems they're not too happy with the settlement I made this week with software company. It was too low a settlement, I could have gotten more, but I'm distracted with the personal things in my life, and not really looking out for my clients these days. So they felt it would be in their best interest to find other representation for their suits." It came out annoyed, and she sat down in the chair in front of him.

"You' what? That was a great settlement."

"Yes it was. Want to take a guess as to who the clients heard about the settlement from?"

"David, I'm going to kill him. When is he going to realize that sabotaging you is sabotaging him as well."

"Oh no it wasn't David. It was Miles, one of David's underlings. David certainly couldn't be blamed for the rumors."

"You confronted him?" He smiled at her. "I did!" she said with raised eyebrows. "He denied the whole thing." She shook her head. "When does this charade end Will? We can't fire him, we need his business. And what if he gets voted in instead of me?" She stood up and began to pace rubbing her hands together. She was nervous about the vote.

"It ends in three and a half hours. It will be fine. We have the votes, and once you're voted in David will be pissed, but he'll cool down in a few weeks. He always does."

"You're not worried? Not even a bit? You're not worried about the client loss, the rumors about me, David's continued threats to leave, and take half our clients with him? How can you be so calm about this? Things are falling apart at the seams." She snapped without meaning too.

"Things aren't falling apart. Turnover was expected, with Diane leaving. We will get new clients. David has played this game before. I'm not worried." He stood smiling and walked over to her. "Relax Alicia, It's just another day at the office!" She glared at him before continuing.

"You think this is funny don't you? Me walking around like a basket case all week. All wound up in a tight knot, walking on egg shells with everyone, yet doing my best to "charm" or whatever to stay on everyone's good side. Thanks a lot for the support "partner." He reached for her arms, but she moved away out of his reach still glaring at him.

She had been like this all week. More stressed and worried than he thought she should be. Questioning everything he and anyone else did even if it was to her benefit. In a way he found it very attractive. "I'm sorry. I do support you. I couldn't help it, you're a good lawyer Alicia, everyone knows it. But when you're stressed about things completely out of your control, there is this whole other side of you. You don't let anyone get in your way. That settlement was fifteen percent higher than it should have been because you've been in-stealth mode this week."

"Stealth mode!" She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling. "You and your metaphors." She sat on the couch. He moved to his leather chair sitting across from her.

"I just want to know what happens when you move back out of stealth mode. Because if I got so wound up, I'd need to sleep for three days to recover!"

"I might need three days to recover after this afternoon! Although with Christmas on Tuesday, mixed with my family, and trying to juggle Peter and Jackie, I may need a week. I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet. It's a good thing the kids are older, because four days before Christmas without shopping done, would have left me searching all over the city for that perfect gift from Santa." She sighed and leant her head back on the couch. "You know I used to have a plan for everything, I used to be organized. Everything was planned and timed out so well. What happened?"

"You're still organized, and you do still plan everything. You've just had too many distractions lately to micromanage. I'd be willing to bet that you've ordered the kids gifts, they're the most important ones anyway. And you may not have Christmas dinner's menu written down, but it's in your head, every detail from the place settings to the wine."

She looked out towards the hall, "You're right, I do, I did. I guess I haven't lost it as much as I thought." She closed her eyes. "What are your plans next week?"

"I was going to go home, but you know how crazy corporate is right now. This is there busiest time of year with end of the year taxes, and stock holdings. I agreed to help do a few end of year contracts next week to sure up some votes."

"You did?" She re opened her eyes and looked at him feeling guilty. "I did."

"Your mother and sisters aren't going to kill you for not going home are they?"

"They aren't happy, but they're used to it." She nodded and they sat in silence for a few more minutes before Alicia got back up to leave. "I should get back to work."

"Alicia, don't worry, in three hours you'll be my new partner, and in three weeks Diane will be sworn in. We'll make it past the biggest hurdle this afternoon. It'll be smooth sailing from here on out." She just nodded, and walked out of the office. She briefly looked over to Diane's office catching Diane's gaze. Diane smiled, and turned back to her work. " _I sure hope you're right."_ she said under her breath. But somehow she knew this was just the beginning of the hurdles they'd have to cross.

Three hours later all the equity partners were crammed into the conference room. "All right, you all know why we're here so we'll just cut to the chase. I'll be leaving in three weekd. This is your chance to vote for my replacement. So all those in favor of David Lee taking over for me as name partner raise your hands. If there aren't enough votes for David, Alicia will be my replacement." Diane began counting. With any luck she would stop at twenty. If she got to twenty five they would have a tie, and if she went past David would be her replacement.

"Twenty one" Diane slowed down turning briefly to Will. "Twenty two" Will started to actually be worried. "Twenty three." Alicia felt sick. "Twenty four" She stopped. Silence engulfed the room for a few seconds until the initial shock wore off. All three exhaled at the same time.

"And by a margin of one Alicia is now name partner! Congratulations Alicia!" Diane turned and hugged her. Clapping and congratulations rang out around the room.

"Alright quiet everyone." David said standing. The room became quiet once again. "I would like to make a motion that we vote to remove and dismiss Will Gardner as an equity partner." Both Alicia and Diane turned to Will, the shock evident in all their features. "Second", someone from the back of the room called out. This was a blind side, and Alicia who was already way past her tolerance level for David spoke up. "This was your plan all along wasn't it David?"

"This time you caught me Alicia. You all spent so much time worrying about getting you voted in, you forgot about the fact that we could vote Will out." Will was outraged. "You and the other equity partners don't have the authority to vote me out David" He said standing from his seat. The anger etched in his face.

"Actually we do. Don't you remember we changed a few minor things in the bi-laws when Bond was here, so that we could vote Bond out?" Both Diane and Will looked at each other confirming David was right. "And guess what? We never changed them back." He passed a copy of the firm bi-laws over to the three. The room was buzzing with chatter once again. Alicia was really starting to feel sick. What if Will was voted out? She didn't have time to think about it before David spoke up again.

"Welcome to leadership Alicia." he said smugly. "Diane no longer has the authority to call for the vote, but you do."

She turned to Diane the shock still sinking in. "He's right Alicia." She said defeat in her voice. "You have to call for the vote." Alicia turned slowly back to Will, he just nodded. She cleared her throat. "Very well. All those in favor of dismissing Will as equity partner." Once again the three held their breath as Alicia counted with an unsteady hand.

"Twenty one, twenty two, twenty three, motion is denied." The room was filled with noise once again. Alicia felt dizzy, but relieved. Diane leaned over to her, "That was close."

"Too close. We have to do something about this." Alicia sighed, and watched Will as he followed David out of the conference room and down the hall.

"David" He turned to face Will who was only a few feet from him. "What the," David cut him off. "You and Alicia go ahead and have your _honeymoon_ period, but this isn't over."

"Yes David it is." David just chuckled as he continued down the hall towards his office. Will went back into the conference room where Alicia was being congratulated by her colleagues. She caught his gaze as he entered. He smiled at her, but she knew that smile. It was the smile he used when he was worried, but didn't want her to be. A smile she would continue to see for eight more weeks.

 **A/N Thank you all so much for the reviews! This chapter and the next were going to be one, but it was getting long. So to those of you who wanted a little more Will and Alicia alone time the next chapter is for you. I'll be curious to see what you think at the end of it though!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was about six in the evening. The snow was falling, and Will was focused on the contract and other files that were strewn all over his couch and coffee table when there was a knock at the door. He looked up for a second wondering if he'd actually heard correctly. It was Christmas Eve and he wasn't expecting anyone. Then another knock. He got up and went to the door.

"Alicia?" She stood there in jeans, boots, a winter coat and a baseball cap.

"Merry Christmas!" she said holding up a box with a ribbon tied around it. Standing there in stunned silence he reached for the box. "Thanks, but I didn't..."

"Will it's not a gift, well it is, just open it and you'll understand." She moved past him into his apartment before he could object. "Aren't you supposed to be doing what ever it is you and the kids do on Christmas Eve?" he said wondering how on earth she had explained to them that she was leaving them at home, and coming to his place. She sighed, and turned around to face him. "Its part of our new-agreement. Peter's and mine. He has the kids for Christmas Eve this year, and I get them tomorrow. We'll switch next year. Of course Zach is already eighteen, and I don't know that the legality of it all really matters. Especially since he and Jackie will be joining us for dinner tomorrow." She removed the baseball cap, and her coat revealing a very flattering red silk blouse. He couldn't help but stare for a second. She caught the glimpse but went on. "That reminds me I forgot to get something really strong drink at the market to get through that. Now open the box!" He smiled. "So you're staying?" he said more for her confirmation than anything else. Besides removing her coat she held two other bags in her hands. "I brought dinner if that's ok with you."

"That sounds great." He closed the front door. They moved to the living space and he untied the ribbon and opened the lid of the box revealing it's contents. The grin on his face grew larger. "Wait are these?" he reached in pulled out one of the cookies and took a bite.. "Mmm, these are! Wow, exactly how I remember them!" She smiled back at him and placed the bags on his counter.

"You didn't make these just for me did you?"

"No!" she said chuckling and shaking her head. "They're Zach and Grace's favorite. I've made them every year for the holidays, and this afternoon the apartment was quiet, and I don't know, as I placed the cookie sheet into the oven I suddenly remembered all those late nights at Georgetown where you convinced me to make them for you. So I thought I'd bring some to you."

"You know it was more like I coaxed you into making them!" He took another bite and sat on the sofa. She joined him.

"Well actually I was going to say you forced me too, but it was always a joint decision in the end. Remember you used to use those pleading puppy dog eyes on me. _"Please Leesh, just think how good they'll taste when their cooked. All the sugar, the butter mixed with the melted chocolate. They'll help us study."_ Then you'd try to bribe me. _"I'll buy you coffee in the morning, I'll take really good notes in constitutional law, so you won't have to."_ She let out a slight laugh, and rolled her eyes. "I could never say no to you!"

"No, it wasn't that you couldn't say no to me. These happened because you have a sweet tooth!"

"I have the sweet tooth?" she said with raised eye brows as he took another one from the box. "How many of those have you eaten already?"

"Only three, here have one." He said holding one out for her. "No, I already had a few." She watched him as he made the same puppy dog eyes at her. She couldn't help but smile. "Yep!" She said feigning defeat. "Those are the same eyes. Ok, I'll have one, but just one, and no more puppy dog eyes." She took the cookie from him, a broad smile claiming victory stretched across his lips.

"I'm not the only one who still has a sweet tooth!" he said

"Yeah, well some things never change, and the last thing I needed was to spend an entire evening, a holiday no less, at home alone with five dozen cookies sitting on my counter."

"Thank you, they taste great!" Their eyes hadn't left each other. She couldn't figure out if it was being in his apartment, or the new freedom she had, but she was definitely feeling the butterflies, and from the look on his face he was too. She broke the moment noticing all the paperwork they were surrounded by.

"Wow you weren't kidding about the contracts were you?"

"No I wasn't, but it was sure worth the extra votes." She just nodded. They had avoided discussing the near disaster three days earlier, and neither one wanted to get into it. "Well let me help. Your pain and suffering is now my pain and suffering when it comes to work."

"Ok, but only for another hour. I'm declaring the rest of tonight, and tomorrow a holiday!" They both laughed. "Let me just put the other things I brought in the fridge, and then we can get tow work." She got up and headed back tot he kitchen. He followed.

"You really didn't have to."

"I know, but truthfully I couldn't bare the thought of you spending Christmas alone eating pizza, all because of me."

"I like pizza!"

"I know, but I wanted too." They stood and stared at each other for a moment, both a bit hesitant as to what to do next. "We should get that work done now." She said gazing into his eyes. "Yes" he turned and went back to the couch.

Ninety minutes later they had cleaned up the paper mess, Alicia was cooking, and Will was sitting on the bar stool watching her. "It smells really good!" he said. "I hope you like it. Here, come taste the sauce." He moved around the counter to where she was next to the stove. She held the wooden spoon up to his mouth. "Tastes as good as it smells." he said. "Glad you approve!" She turned back to the saucepan, he stayed put watching her. She could feel his eyes on her. This kind of stare was the one that made her weak in the knees. She turned back to him. "What?"

"Nothing, I just." She continued to look at him for clarification. "This is nice, that's all." She smiled. "It is nice. Can you pour the wine?" But they were both caught up in the moment. "Yes" He leaned in and placed his lips to hers. She kissed him back. He put his arms around her, but she pulled back. "Will, we can't, we shouldn't, we haven't talked about..."

"I know, I'm sorry. Just consider it a thank you."

"Ok, it's not that I don't want more." She reached her hand out to turn the stove off. "It's just the photos, the divorce, the vote, things are just so unsettled right now."

"Alicia I understand, really it was just a thank you." He backed up a bit moving to open the wine. She continued to ponder, and watch him. "Oh who am I kidding." She said, moving back to him taking the wine bottle from him and placing her lips to his once again. This time with much more force than before. He wrapped his arms around her picking her up she wrapped her legs around him and he carried her to the bedroom. He gently placed her on the bed. "What about dinner!" he said as he began to unbutton the red silk blouse she had on. "Appetizer first!" she said reaching up to kiss him once again. "This isn't smart." he said in between kisses. "It wasn't last time either, but I don't care anymore." He continued to kiss her making his way down her neck as he removed his shirt. She reached to pull off his undershirt when the door bell rang.

They both froze. He turned his head towards the hall, she stared up him. "Expecting someone?" He turned back to her. "No, it's probably just someone who got the wrong apartment. I'm sure they'll figure it out in a minute. He began kissing her neck once again, but the doorbell rang again, followed by knocking. He sighed, and got up pulling his shirt back on. "I'll be right back. Don't move!" She smiled back at him. "promise"

"Hey Willie! Guess who?" he was attacked with a hug as soon as he opened the door. "Aubrey?" He said pulling away from her. "What? What are you doing here?" She moved past him lugging her suitcase into the apartment. "I couldn't let my brother spend Christmas alone now could I?" He was speechless. "Wow when did you learn to cook? It smells great in here." He followed her into the apartment glancing down the hall towards the bedroom as they passed.

As soon as she heard him say her name, it only took a few seconds to register. His sister. She jumped off the bed pulling her blouse back on, then quickly checking the mirror to make sure her makeup and clothes looked to be back in place before she headed down the hall.

"It's chicken, pasta, some veggies, and my secret sauce." She said as she rounded the corner to the kitchen taking Aubrey completely off guard. "Will whose this?" Aubrey said with a large smile. "Am I interrupting here?" She said now slightly embarrassed. He rolled his eyes then moved next to Alicia. "This is Alicia. She just became my new partner at work. Alicia is here because we were working," he pointed to the few piles of files on his coffee table. "On Christmas Eve? You two chose the wrong profession."

"We like what we do, and we're finished anyway. Alicia just finished making us some dinner." Alicia could here the annoyance in his voice, but she found it amusing, and then held out her hand.

"It's nice to meet you Aubrey. It's always fun to meet family of those you work with. Especially Will, I hardly know anything about his family." Her eyes wondered to him with a slight raise of the eyebrows. "Would you like to join us for dinner?" she said still looking over at Will. He smiled. He loved how easily she seemed to turn awkward situations into less awkward ones in a matter of seconds. A quality he didn't have. He'd been ready to chew Aubrey out for not calling before she showed up on his doorstep. But Alicia didn't seem to mind.

"I'd love too!" Aubrey said pulling off her coat and handing it to Will. "It will be nice to get to know some one Will works with!" she said looking to Will with raised eyebrows.

Two hours later after they'd eaten and cleaned up and Aubrey had embarrassed him with some great stories, Alicia glanced at her watch and decided she should get back home.

"I should really be going. It was nice talking with you Aubrey!" she said pulling on her coat. "You to Alicia."

"I'm going to walk Alicia to her car. You can get settled in the guest room." Will said pulling the door open for Alicia. Once they were safely outside his apartment he grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't know she was coming."

"I know! It's ok. At least we hadn't gotten any further." She said smiling at him. He reached for her other hand. "Yeah, I'll be thinking about that all night now." He sighed. "You won't be the only one! I had a good time tonight Will thanks."

"Your welcome and thank you again for the cookies." Once again time seemed to pause between them. "Sure! Merry Christmas." She said. "Merry Christmas Alicia." He leaned in and gave her one last lingering kiss before she entered the elevator and was gone. 


	5. Chapter 5

**AN; We're now at five weeks before chapter one. Thanks for the reviews, and new follows this week!**

"Diane I need you to look over these case files and see if there is anything you need to tell Alicia." Will said, scrolling through the missed calls on his phone in one hand, the files in the other. He stopped just inside her office, and looked up to find Alicia and Diane coats on, and purses over their shoulders.

"Where are you two going? Neither one of you has court today."

"Lunch" Alicia said glancing over to Diane.

"Oh, ok, I'll grab my coat and come with you." Placing the files on Diane's desk he turned back to his office.

"You're not invited Will." Diane said. He thought she was just giving him a hard time. Over the past nearly five weeks Alicia and Diane had bonded. There had always been mutual respect between the two, but there had always been the invisible line between boss and employee that they hadn't crossed. Now with that line dissolved their relationship had become much easier and less stressed. They had found more things in common than they once would have thought. Will was glad, because whether or not Alicia would admit it, she really needed someone besides him and her family as a friend. On the other hand because the two had a new found friendship they had used it against him. The would vote two to one on all kinds of things from new cases, to what flowers should be in reception just to get a rise out of him. So thinking they were just trying to mess with him again he responded.

"What do you mean I'm not invited? It's Diane's last day. It will take five second to grab my coat." he turned around again, thinking they would change their minds.

"No Will you really aren't invited this time." Diane said again. He turned around and the two women started to head out the other door. "What? are you two going to meet a new client or something?" He was in a good mood, and wasn't going let them get away with leaving him there easily.

"No" Alicia stopped and turned to him once more. "But we are having an important meeting!" She raised her eyebrows ans smiled at Diane. 

"With who?"

"Just the two of us!" Alicia said, having a difficult time holding back her laughter.

"And you have some top secret information you have to discuss without me." He feigned hurt.

"Yes, as a matter fact." Diane added.

"Ok what's going on."

"Nothing!" Dine said looking to Alicia once more. "I Just have to talk to Alicia about how to handle you."

"Handle me?"

"Yes, I need to tell her all of my partner secrets in getting you to do what ever I wanted." She grinned and chuckled.

"Really? I thought it worked the other way around! I was the convincing one!" They all laughed. He folded his arms. "So I'll be the main topic of conversation, and I can't even come to defend myself? Ouch!" He said pretending to stab himself in the heart.

"Verdicts already in on this case Will. We're simply going to hammer out the details!" Alicia said. The two women turned to leave once more.

"Fine, but Alicia what ever she tells you about me, don't believe it. And you should take those files with you, that way I won't be the only topic of discussion." he turned once again but stopped. "Oh and one more thing Diane. Just know that I have my ways of prying whatever I want out of Alicia, you may want to keep some of those strategies to yourself. You wouldn't want Alicia to pay for your sins later!"

"Excuse me" she said pretending to be uphauled. He chuckled and started to walk back to his office. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Have fun!"

Twenty minutes later they were at a quiet restaurant waiting for their food.

"Do you think we should have let him come?" Alicia said taking a sip of her water.

"No, he'll get over it, and it was fun to make him squirm a bit." Alicia nodded. "You know I always admired how well you two worked together. I hope Will and I can do the same. Be similar in our respect and understanding of each other in running the firm."

"Running a firm isn't easy. But you've been privy to more of the, shall we our difficult moments, than most in the firm. You and Will, will be good together, just like he and I are. But there are a few things you need to keep in mind."

"Am I going to need more wine for this discussion?" she said as the waitress filled her glass again.

"No. Alicia I love Will, he's been my best friend for a number of years now. That's one of the reasons we get along so well. You two already have a friendship, that's good. But as you well know sometimes Will makes decisions with his heart before he's had time to think about the consequences. That isn't always a bad thing. In fact I wish I were able to do that sometimes."

"You did that when you married Kurt two months ago!" Diane smiled. "I guess I did!" She stopped to ponder Kurt for a few moments before moving on. "Anyway, Will likes to go at things with full force, and ever since he knew I would be leaving he's been running at top speed to make things at the firm exactly how he wants them. There's nothing wrong with that, but he doesn't realize that some of the things he wants could, and should take months to a year, or longer to gain."

"You mean like opening offices in L.A., two months after opening them in New York?"

"Yes, but right now it's not smart. The firm is in a good place right now. New York is growing. But there is no extra money to open up offices in L.A. right now." Alicia sighed she knew how much Will wanted the L.A. offices.

"I know, I looked over the firm's budget last night." She grabbed her wine glass, and had another drink.

"Well that will always put a damper on a good evening! You have to keep that under control. Opening offices anywhere right now would not be good." Alicia sighed. "I know, it's just so hard to crush what I know Will wants so badly!"

"Believe me I know!"

"Ok next item." Alicia said.

"You need to hire some new associates. With Cary and the other's leaving its left us a bit short handed. Again, and please don't take this the wrong way, Will sometimes hires with his heart, more than with his head."

Alicia smiled, "I know, and I'm not offended."

"I guess all I'm trying to say is it's easy to get trapped in his idealistic world sometimes. I've done it before, it's a good place to be, and most of the time things work out just fine. But you are the one who has to keep a level head. Will is fully capable of running the firm, he's very good at it. I couldn't have found a better partner. You just have to keep track of the small details, and you'll be fine. He listens to you, he respects your opinion he trusts you, and your opinion more than anyone else's I've ever seen. He's a good man Alicia, but you already know that."

"I do, and thank you Diane for everything really."

"So now tell me the really juicy stuff. Like what do I do when he gets on my nerves!"

"You just roll your eyes and tell him to get out of your office!" They both laughed. "Be strong and firm in your opinions when it comes to the firm. Don't back down. It drives him nuts, but he always comes around to the logical side eventually! But when it comes to cases and strategy listen to him. He knows the law inside and out, better than anyone I know including myself! But don't let him know that! We have to keep him a little bit humble somehow!"

/

"Cary how are you?" Alicia said as she walked into her office removing her coat and hanging it and her purse. "Good Alicia, how are you?" She moved to her desk. "I'm good! So how's the new firm?" He moved to sit in the chair in front of her. "It's good, really good! Too good actually that's why I'm here." Alicia raised her eyebrows, "You're here because it's too good?" He chuckled. "Yes, you know the Grant case?"

"The one I turned over to you a few weeks ago?"

"Yes, the Grant's are wanting other representation. We've been so busy they don't think we've spent enough time on the case, and quite frankly they're probably right." He sighed, not believing he was actually trying to give them a client back. "So I'm wondering if you want it back, the case that is." She was a little loss for words, but after the client loss over the past few weeks, she didn't hesitate to long. "Let me talk to Will, but we could probably make it work, when is the trial?"

"We go to court in four weeks. If you say yes, I'll send over all the files by tonight."

"Ok, let me talk to Will."

"Thanks!" He said relieved. "So really Cary, tell me how things are? How is it being out on your own?"

"It's great, I don't answer to anyone but myself. I have control over what clients we take and don't. And I haven't slept in five weeks! But it's great, you should have come with us!" He said eyeing her. She smiled and turned from his gaze for a minute. "No, I think I made the right decision. Oh hey you should stick around It's Diane's last day! We're celebrating soon!"

"As tempting as that is because I can about imagine the spread and drinks that will be available, I really do need to get back to work. But hey that means you get to move into the big office right?" She smiled again. She didn't want to let on, but she was actually very excited to move into Diane's office. She liked the idea of the power that sat behind those doors, and she also liked the fact that she would be able to catch glimpses of Will all day if she liked. She stood as he got up to leave. "Yes it does, I'm looking forward to it."

"You should come check out our new offices, and then we can go out for drinks to celebrate." He said.

"Celebrate?"

"Yeah! We finally made it Alicia! Both of us!" His smile was contagious, and she couldn't help but smile back and give him a hug. "We did didn't we! I'll come by next week, and I'll let you know about the case after I talk to Will ok?"

"Ok see you around!" she nodded as he left her office. Then went down the hall to Will's and knocked before she entered. He looked up from his work with a smile. "Hey how was your _lunch_? Do you know all of Diane's tricks for sabotaging me now?" She chuckled as she sat down in the chair in front of his desk. "I do! Cary was just here." He raised his eyebrows. "What does he want his job back?"

"No, they're doing well on their own." She shook her head. "He wants us to take back the Grant case." She watched as he processed this news. "Why?" he said moving the pen in his hand to his desk. "The Grant's don't think it's getting enough attention, and Cary admitted it probably wasn't. They're slammed over there, and they don't have near the man power as we do. He wanted to know if we wanted it back before he solicited other firms."

"Do we want to take it back?" he said leaning forward on his elbows. "You're the one who didn't want it in the first place as I recall." She shifted in her chair. "I know, but Will we've lost so many clients, it would be good to keep the ones we do have happy." She felt guilty about the client loss, and he knew it.

"Alicia client loss isn't your fault. We don't have to take cases we don't want, just to make people happy." She turned looking to the windows biting her lip. "I know, but Will, it will bring in at least a hundred thousand, in billable hours." He got up and moved to sit on his desk in front her. "Alicia a hundred thousand barely makes a mark on the legers. I'm not saying it's an insignificant amount, but it won't make or break us. I'm not going to stop you from taking it, but if you don't want it it's no sweat off my brow."

The same feeling she had five weeks earlier had crept back. She didn't have a good feeling about it, but she couldn't pin the feeling down, and there was no reason, at least that she could see, as to why they shouldn't take it back. "Ok, thanks." She stood up, and turned to leave. He grabbed her arm. "I mean it." He looked right into her eyes. "You don't have to take it back out of some sense of guilt. This isn't how we're going run things." She briefly looked down. "Ok" She looked back up giving him a half smile. Then pulled away and left his office pulling her phone out, and calling Cary.

/

It was quiet, she was pretty sure everyone had gone home, all except for Will who was still diligently working away getting ready for his trial on Monday. She'd opted to keep Diane's desk, and of course the conference table on the other side of the room, Diane had taken much of the art, and a few other things that had belonged to her. But Alicia was surrounded by boxes, framed art, and a few rugs she was deciding between. As she stood to file some more of her case files Will entered.

"So how was your first day in the new office as name partner?" He'd taken off his suit coat and tie a few hours earlier, and had the sleeves rolled up on his dark blue dress shirt. The shirt really showed off his dark brown eyes. She stood and admired him for a brief few seconds. This was one of her favorite looks on him. Sleeves rolled up, top button undone, still business like, but less formal.

"Crazy, but good!" She smiled at him as she laid the files in her hand down, and walked over to him. It was then that she noticed the bottle in his hand. "I think this calls for a little celebrating!" He held up the bottle. "Ok, let's do it!" A broad smile across her lips. He looked around the office. "Although I don't know that we're going to find anything to pour this into in here." She surveyed the room. "Yes, maybe we should move to your office!"

They went to his office, and he pulled out some glasses for them. He poured the liquid into the glasses, and they sat on the sofa. He held up his glass. "To your first day, and to _our_ firm, twenty years in the making." She smiled and lifted her glass to his. This was reason to celebrate, and for that moment all seemed right in their world. The chaos of the day and past few weeks seemed to disappear for a few minutes. An era had come to a close, and new one was beginning. One they'd both dreamt of so many years ago.

They held the others gaze as they drank, eyes locked. He made the first move leaning in he kissed her sweet liquor stained lips. She smiled into the kiss. A few moments later he pulled away. "Congratulations partner!" She smiled 'Thanks" They continued to stare for a few more moments both hesitant.

"You know we should really _talk_ before we move this further Will." He smiled and broke his gaze looking down at his glass. "I agree, but not tonight ok? Let's just enjoy the moment for tonight without all of the issues. Like the fact that we are business partners, and if we decide to make a go at a relationship how delicately we'll have to handle that." He looked back up at her. "I agree, let's just enjoy the moment without the mess." She took another sip of her drink. He put his glass on the table, and leant back on the sofa.

"I'm thinking of talking to Burl Preston next week about the L.A. market." She held her glass to her lips, but stopped drinking. Then slowly lowered it and placed it on the table. She didn't turn to look at him. "He's apposing council next week?"

"Yes, but he runs a very successful firm out there. I just want to get a feel for what we'd be looking at as far as cost for office space, the potential for client base, things like that." He held a smile across his lips as she turned to face him once again. She knew how much he wanted this, she had seen it in him the few times he'd mentioned it before, and she didn't want to be the barer of bad news. However she knew it would be a bad decision right now. Diane had confirmed that for her just yesterday.

"Will I don't," She didn't want to get into an argument, not tonight, but she didn't want him to think she'd lied to him, who knew how many weeks down the road when she have to put a firm foot down against it if it came to that. "I think we should hold of on any more expanding for awhile. I need to dip my foot in the water past my toes before we make any big decisions like that."

He shifted forward again. "Alicia things are moving fast these days. The market's picked up. I think now is the time to expand while there is a large client base to pull from." She shifted and put her hands down gripping the couch. "Ok listen you talk to Burl next week, and you agree to look at the budget with me. But I'm going on record as saying we should wait." She was firm, but he smiled, not the reaction she was expecting. "Ok, good our first decision as partners." He reached for his glass again.

It should have made her feel better that he agreed to discuss it later after he had more information, and that he hadn't wanted to argue about it. But it only made her worry more. Somehow she knew he wasn't going to back down on this one. Not easily anyway. She was suddenly very tired.

"I'm going to head home. Thanks for the drink!" She smiled and rose from the sofa. He stood and walked back to his desk. "You're welcome. See you tomorrow! Drive safe!" She nodded and went back to her office, grabbed her things and headed out. That was the first time of many, in the next five weeks that he missed noticing the concern in her eyes, and was willing to push forward with what he wanted without taking enough time to consider the consequences.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I'll be curious to know what you all think after this chapter. This first little bit is for Missthridward! It's the best I could do under their current circumstances.**

" _Just one more semester and we'll be official lawyers Leesh." They were snuggled up together hot cocoa mugs in hand, under a blanket on the sofa in her apartment. "I know we almost made it Will!" she said snuggling even closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. "You make good hot cocoa!"_

" _Thanks! You can't have the recipe if that's what you were going to ask next."_

" _Why not?"_

" _It's my secret. I'll never tell."_

" _You'll tell me." She cocked her head upwards to meet his gaze._

" _No I will never tell anyone. Not even you, my best friend." He insisted taking another sip from his mug. She turned leaning her head back on his shoulder. "Yes, yes you will. Someday twenty years from now when we're running our own firm and we're snuggled up on a sofa just like this celebrating our latest firm expansion I'll pry it out of you because you'll be to elated to remember you were never going to tell your secret!"_

" _Yeah our firm is going to be the best. We'll have branches all over the country. We'll be one of the nation's largest, best, law firms. I can see it now!" He reached his hand to the air moving it from left to right as he spoke. "Gardner and Gardner" It will be known every where!"_

 _She cocked her head back towards his. His eyes were full of hope. "Why Gardner and Gardner? Why not Cavanaugh and Gardner? Or Gardner and Cavanaugh? What makes you think, if we were to get married ten years from now I'd take your name?" She shifted and moved to sit up so she could face him better. He was a bit taken aback at how defensive she'd gotten over the name of their imaginary firm. But he found it quite attractive this side of her. "My mistake! We can name the firm what ever you want!" Her eyes bore into his. "Good. I'm holding you to that."_

 _He chuckled and set his mug down on the coffee table and took hers doing likewise. "Hey why do we have to wait until then to celebrate? How about if we celebrate early, now for instance!" A grin formed on her lips, as she let out a laugh. "Now? You want to celebrate now for something that may or may not even happen?" He leaned in closer to her. "You're roommates gone home for the holidays, and either way it's a good excuse to celebrate finals being over." He pressed his forehead to hers. Her eyes met his,_

" _You're going to make a great lawyer someday. You really know how to argue your case." She whispered. Then he leant in and pressed his lips to hers. He continued to kiss her gently pushing her flat to the couch. "No Will let's go to my bedroom. It's freezing in here. The bed will be warmer." He gently pulled her up and lifted her from the couch carrying her to the bedroom. "You're right he said. It will be warmer in here, because even when we decide we've had enough celebrating, I intend to stay here and keep you warm all night." She smiled as he pressed his warm body against her and began showering every inch of her with kisses._

 _The following morning she caught him staring at her as her eyes fluttered open, their bare skin still nestled next to each other. He didn't say anything even after a minute of her watching him. "Can I ask you something?" She said. "Anything"_

" _Do you really think we'll run our own firm someday?" He smiled broadly down at her. "Yes, just wait and see Leesh. Someday we will, and it will be great!" ._

It was far from great at the moment she thought as she was brought out of her dream as her alarm buzzed next to her ear. She moved her arm to turn it off continuing to lay there pondering her dream. It was the first time she'd remembered that night in years. It caused a smile to cross her lips as she then remembered the time just two years earlier where they had snuggled up on his couch and had had the same hot cocoa that he had once again refused to give her the recipe for. That night had once again turned into a long night of passionate love making.

These thoughts were again rudely interrupted by her stomach turning sour once again. She moaned and pulled the covers up over hear head.

She didn't want to get out of bed. She would have preferred to stay there for the entire day, the entire weekend if that's what it took to get over this flu that had gotten progressively worse over the past two days. She found her stomach turning on a dime periodically in the past forty eight hours, and the pain in her abdomen had caught her off guard a few times. It had been a long time since she'd felt so awful.

 _Just get through today, and you can rest all weekend._ She tried to reassure herself. And then she was torn right out of their youthful blissful ignorance of running a firm realizing he'd be back from L.A. today. He'd let Burl Preston talk him into going to L.A. a week ago. She'd had a whole week to think about how she'd handle his return. But with her current physical state, she wasn't sure she'd make it through the entire day, or even the morning.

All week she'd tried to get on board with his idea of the L.A. offices because she knew how much he wanted it, but the their last conversation a week ago kept running over and over again in her head.

" _How did court go today?"_

" _Great! We won!" he said as he sat down in front of her desk. "How's your week been? We've been moving in different circles all week."_

" _Mostly good." She hesitated a bit. "You'll notice this looks like an office again instead of a storage unit!" She grinned leaning back in her chair. She'd hoped he'd come to talk as a friend, not just as her fly by the seat of his pants business partner. Her first week as partner had been good, but they'd had no time to talk. She'd missed their good conversation over the week, and his ability to make her insecurities melt away with the turn of a dime._

" _Yes the office is looking good!" he smiled over to her. "So next week it will be official?" he said. She sighed, if all goes as planned this time. Peter and I met in court again this week to feud over the remaining assets."_

" _David didn't hang you out to dry did he?"_

" _I think he thought about it, but then changed his mind. It's always lovely to have a divorce attorney who thinks he's better than you, and an almost ex-husband, and his attorney in the same room together. But yes, if nothing else goes wrong the divorce will be official next week."_

" _Good, listen I had a chance to talk to Burl."_

 _Good? Good was all he was going to say. She was expecting more than just a good. She came back out of her thoughts realizing she'd missed the first part of his next sentence. "Anyway, We met for lunch yesterday. He's offered to show me around the L.A. law scene next week. He even offered to join forces until we get up and running out there." He paused for a second waiting for her to respond. She literally didn't know what to say. She was still stuck on his previous comment. Up until this week he'd seemed very interested and concerned about how the divorce was going. Making sure David wasn't trying to mess things up for her, and keeping close tabs on her mental well being. He'd really meant it when he said she wouldn't have to do it alone this time. He'd been there for her, sometimes more than she would have appreciated. It wasn't that she had more to tell him about this week's excursion to divorce court, but it was the manner in which he'd asked about it, as if just wanting to get the topic marked off his list for the day._

" _And you agreed?" Was all she could come up with._

" _Yes, I'm flying out Sunday night. I'll be back late Thursday."_

" _Will when did we decide we were going through with opening offices in L.A.? The last time we talked a week ago, I told you I didn't think it was a good idea, and you agreed you'd go over the budget with me to see if it was even a possibility." He looked at his watch. He had a meeting in ten minutes, and didn't want argue with her right now._

" _Alicia listen, I'm just going to check it out. See if I can schmooze any new clients. Burl says there is a ton of legal work to be done out there, and L.A. needs some more top end law firms." She didn't believe that for a second. She knew Burl and his ways. He was probably just looking to make his firm some more money. "When I get back I promise we will go over the budget." He stood to go back to his office. This infuriated her even more._

" _And what am I supposed to do with your work load all week?" Her voice was even and smooth, she was trying her hardest to not yell at him. "I'll work it out. You won't have to worry about a thing. This is a good thing Alicia. We already have a foot in the door there. It will be easier than starting from scratch like we did in New York!" He walked out of her office without even giving her a chance for rebuttal._

As she continued to lie in bed she was reminded of how much scrambling she'd had to do at the last minute during the week, because even though he'd tried to work everything out before he left, there were a few loose ends she'd had to deal with. It wasn't that she minded, it was the circumstances of his absence that bothered her. And now with this dream she'd had she felt even worse about the fact that she knew she would have to tell him no. He wanted it so badly, but she'd looked at the numbers, she'd gone over them a half dozen times looking for places to save, any loop holes that would allow the firm to expand, but she'd found none. They would have to put L.A. on hold. She slowly dragged her body out of bed and took a hot shower in the vane hope she'd feel well enough to make an appearance at work.

L.A. had been good, really good in his opinion. In fact he couldn't wait to tell Alicia about the office space he'd been offered in Burl's building overlooking the ocean. The handful of clients he'd found who were just waiting for his approval from his partner before he signed them. He knew she was a little upset after they'd talked briefly on the phone about one of his clients earlier in the week, but he figured once he layed out his plan it would smooth things over. She liked plans, and he had one.

He looked at his watch as he sat at his desk, then back to her office. _Still dark and no signs of life at ten in the morning. Maybe she had court._ He thought to himself, but just as he thought it he noticed her walk past and into her office closing the door behind her. He continued to watch as she set the two large cups of coffee from her favorite place on her desk and removed her coat.

 _Two large cups of her usual, she must really think she's in need of some energy today_. He thought to himself as he continued to watch her as she sat at her desk. He'd missed her. He'd missed everything about her. He'd missed seeing her every morning when he got in, he missed catching glimpses of her throughout the day. He'd missed her smile, and he'd missed the rush he got standing next to her. But something seemed different today. Something was off, and he couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe it was the color of her pant suit, that didn't quite agree with her skin tone. _No._ he thought, it was something else. He brushed it off, and returned to his work.

An hour later when he glanced over again, she was gone. Odd he thought, she hadn't even come in to say hello. Then he noticed her walking into the conference room to meet with Brett the third year she'd asked to help her with Grant case, and a few other associates she must have brought in to help.

She'd worked right through lunch. She hadn't exited the conference room until three. She went straight back to her office closing the door once again. Now was his chance he thought. He got up and walked to her office.

"Hey" he said closing the door behind him. She looked up from her laptop and smiled. "Hey" he sat down in front of her. "You've been busy today."

"I have" she'd been feeling half decent all morning, but was starting to go down hill again.

"So how was L.A.?" She didn't want to waste any time so she went right to the topic at hand. "It was good! Really good!" He recounted his trip to her. She listened as best she could, but pretty soon this, what ever it was illness, was going to get the better of her, and she knew it.

"So I think we should go ahead with the L.A. office." He stopped talking after ten minutes and waited for a response. "No" she said, and then stood from her desk. He was taken completely off guard by her one word response. He stood and watched as she went to put on her coat. "No? that's it? Alicia I want to do this."

She turned and looked at him; soon her stomach would get the better of her. "I know Will, but we can't right now." She grabbed her purse, and tried to move past him. "Alicia we're going to do this." He reached for her arm grasping her hand. She sighed, pulled her hand away and walked back to her desk. She grabbed a large file, and handed it to him. He was still trying to figure out what she was doing. These short responses, and her flat toned voice. He figured she'd either agree with him, or really let him have it, but she'd done neither.

"That's the budget Will. I've been over it ten times this week. If you can find a way for us to afford the L.A. offices then you have my blessing. But if you can't I'm still a firm no." She turned and opened the door to leave. He looked from the file to her. "That's it? We aren't even going to discuss it?" He was a bit irritated with her avoidance, and the fact that she'd burst his bubble without even really hearing him out. "Where are you going? Do you have court?"

She sighed and turned to face him. "I'm sick Will, I've had the flu for three days, and I need to rest. I'm going home, I'm turning off my phone, and I plan on sleeping for the next forty eight hours. I'm sure you can take care of things for the rest of the day." She turned back around, walked out of her office, and went down the hall towards the elevators.

He briefly wondered if he should follow her, offer to drive her home make her some soup and tuck her into bed. But then he thought against it. She probably wouldn't accept the help anyway, and they'd end up arguing about L.A. Best he thought, to leave her be, and let her rest on her own terms. They could discuss this on Monday. He turned of the lights in her office, and walked back to his to go over the budget. Maybe, just maybe he could find a way to make this work.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N; This is the last chapter before we're back to chapter one. Takes place the week of the shooting. A few lines come from the show episode 5/12 "We, the Juries" which I take no credit for.**

Alicia walked calmly but determinately into Peter's office. The few in the room including Eli watched as she walked right over to Peter and asked them all to leave.

"I was here to see Marylyn Garbanza." Her eyes bore into his as he shook his head. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't know she would be moving so fast on that."

"That video, did you know anything about it?"

"No not until a few days ago."

"I'm not talking about its existence Peter. Did you know about Jim Moody and those ballots?"

"No"

"Zach, _our son,_ testified in court about those ballots. And he will have to testify again. This time in front of the feds." She began to raise her voice.

"I hope not"

"No, my son will not get caught up in the middle of this hurricane. You need to fix this."

"Alicia"

"No, just tell me you'll fix this." She was at her breaking point, but she wasn't about let Peter see her so vulnerable. "I'm going to fix it." He replied. She turned and headed for the door of his office.

"Alicia" She stopped, but didn't turn around. "Are you ok?" It had been nearly four weeks since they had seen each other in court. "Am I?" she turned her head towards him. "No Peter I am not _ok."_ She said bitterly. "This is just one more mess you've created that I'm going to have to deal with."

"Alicia that's not what I meant." She turned the rest of her body to fully face him. His eyes wondered up and down her figure.

"Well what did you mean."

"I mean… how are you? Are you feeling alright?" He'd noticed her weight loss, and she looked exhausted. "I'm fine Peter. You need to stop worrying about me, and fix this ballot issue." She turned around and walked out of his office slamming the door behind her. His words hit her right at the core. How was it that her ex-husband seemed to care more about her well being than Will did? Will the one who saw her every day hadn't even asked how she was feeling, hadn't noticed that half her work clothes were fitting a little too loosely these days.

Eli was waiting for her when she came out. "Alicia, I'm sorry about the ballot issue."

She kept her tone raised yet smooth. "You're sorry Eli? Are you the one that told Moody to stuff the ballot box?" her arms were folded across her chest now.

"No, Alicia I would never cheat to win an election. But if Will hadn't ever brought that video to someone's attention we wouldn't be in this mess." She glared at him in shock. "What do you mean Will brought the video to someone's attention? Will doesn't know anything about this. And even if he did he would never do that. He's smarter than that. He would know that doing so would put every single one of us under a scrutinizing eye." She was about to loose it. "Why do you think Will was the one who found the video in the first place? This time Eli, I think you have your facts wrong." She turned to leave.

"Alicia, he was here earlier, he told Marilyn he took the video to Peter on Election Day and asked him what he should do with it. Peter refused to look at it. It would make sense that Will was the one who turned it over to the reporter who showed it to me, and now Peter won't waive his attorney client privilege so that Marilyn can put this thing to rest."

She found herself frozen once again deciding what her next move should be. She turned and went back into Peter's office Eli following right behind. "Did you just lied to me Peter?"

"No"

She shook her head. "You've known about this since Election day?"

Peter was a loss for words for a few seconds. "No, I had no idea what was on that video. I'd never seen it until last week, just like I told you. Alicia if you're looking for someone to blame, blame Will." She'd had enough. She turned and left without saying another word. As she drove back to the office she pondered over the last four weeks. After she'd spent that weekend resting she'd felt well for about a week, but still had no appetite. In the three weeks since, her nausea had been on and off. It hadn't been until yesterday that the abdominal pain had come on hard, and now her head was pounding. It was nearly two weeks ago now she'd started to consider the possibility of pregnancy. Now with all that, and this new issue, and the fact that Will hadn't said a word about it made her furious. She exited the elevator ignoring everyone. She noticed he was in his office. She went to hers put her coat up and headed straight for his office telling both of their assistants to hold any calls. They were not to be disturbed.

When she entered she closed the door he looked up at her, and as soon as he did he could tell she was upset. "You knew about the ballot box video?" She stood before him arms crossed. He took a few seconds to register what she was asking, and sighed. He knew the stern look on her face, it wasn't one he had seen often, and it was rarely ever directed at him. "I... Yes."

She shook her head. "And you didn't think you should mention it to me?" She had raised her voice.

"Alicia" he stood up, and began to walk over to her. "No Will you're going let me finish. You've known about this for nearly four months? He moved closer to her. "Four months Will, and now, now a reporter has her hands on it and the feds will get their hands on it, and then we will all be hung out to dry before a grand jury. Never mind that some of us had no knowledge of this."

"Alicia calm down. It's not going to go to a grand jury. It will be fine." He said it in a way he thought would help calm her down calm and collected, but it only infuriated her more.

"It will be fine? No Will it will not be fine. That's your go to these days for everything isn't it?"

He raised his voice a bit. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know full well what that means. We barely even talk any more. Yet we are supposed to be running a firm together. Every time I try to bring something up about the firm we have a one minute discussion about it, and then you suddenly have to leave. And you say the same thing every time. It will be fine Alicia, don't worry."

"Alicia I'm not the only one who hasn't had time to talk. You're as much at fault here as I am. We're slammed right now. It's not that I don't want to sit down and have a lengthy conversation with you, but we are buried with work right now. And when I do have time around ten at night you've already gone home." In the past two weeks they had taken on a handful of new cases that spread across the firm leaving everyone with loads of work to do. She had gone home early a few nights because she felt so awful.

"Yes Will we need to hire. I told you that a week ago, and do you remember what you told me?"

"Yes, that I'd put some people on it, and I have. You make it sound like I'm not doing anything around here. But we have a new attorney starting tomorrow."

"And when were you going to mention to me that we have someone starting tomorrow?"

"I was going to tell you this afternoon. But we need to bump him up a few pay grades from what we were originally offering. He's been at Long and Brown for six years. He'll be a real asset here."

"Will we talked about hiring two associates, first or second years so we could keep the cost down. We can't offer him more, not if we want two associates." She was frustrated, and feeling a little light headed. So she placed her hand on the chair for extra support. "And that brings up another topic the L.A. branch. which we are voting on tomorrow and have barely discussed because you keep telling me that you and David have it under control I still don't agree with this."

"I know which is why we are having the vote. But remember you told me if I could find a way to do it you'd support me, and I found a way. I'm expecting you to vote with me tomorrow." He was getting defensive.

"You found a way that allows David, the man who tried to vote you out eight weeks ago, to have more power. I'll bet after he's been out there for six months he'll be right back here asking to have his name added to the letterhead. Or worse he will have made Burl an offer to buy up half the firm so he can retire. He'll be a loose cannon out there."

"I don't agree. I'm not saying he won't at some point want more, but we don't have to give it to him. We can write the contracts up in a way that will protect us. And the bigger bonus here is that he will be out of here. We won't have to deal with him on a day to day basis. This is a win win for all of us. I don't know why you're so against this. We're growing, we're prospering. We're beginning to take out our competition."

"Yes, we are stable, but just barely. I don't understand the need to take such a risk when things are good. I saw the look in your eyes when we went over the budget. There is no room for error and you know it. You're letting your desire for the firm to be big overshadow your judgment." He turned around and walked back towards his desk. "Alicia I'm not going to argue with you over this anymore. We're voting tomorrow, and either way it will be settled."

'Yes once again without any lengthy discussion. Is there anything else I need to know, anything else you haven't told me? " He just stood and stared at her for a few seconds.

"You know Cary was right." She regretted saying it as soon as the words fell from her lips.

"Right about what?"

She sighed and looked away from him. "Nothing, it doesn't matter." He moved back around his desk. "No what? what were you going to say? Cary was right about what?" Things had gone further than she'd ever intended when she walked into his office, He was glaring at her. She straightened up and glared right back at him. "When I was deciding whether or not to leave, Cary argued that I'd always be under you. That I would never really be your equal because you wouldn't allow it to happen."

He calmed down, and lowered his voice. The thought had never even crossed his mind, and he couldn't believe she would even think it. "Do you honestly believe that?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore Will. We haven't been on the same page since Diane left. And I," her head was pounding, and her emotions were about to get the better of her. She looked away, "I don't know if this going to work Will."

They both stood there shocked for a few seconds. He couldn't believe the thought of leaving had even crossed her mind, and she couldn't believe she'd said it. He tried to move closer, but she felt a need to put up her defenses just like she'd had to do so many times over the past five years. So she stepped back a few feet from him. He'd calmed down, but she hadn't.

"Alicia"

"No Will." She said sternly. "I need some time to think. To figure out what I want."

She turned around and headed for the door. "I have to be in court soon." She reached for the door handle.

"Alicia about the video," she held her hand to the door knob and didn't turn to look at him.

"I was just trying to protect you. That's all I've ever tried to do when it came to Peter." She whirled around. "I don't need someone to protect me Will. What I need is a partner I can trust."

Her words stung. "That isn't fair Alicia. You know you can trust me. Where is all this coming from? This isn't like you."

She shook her head. "You're right Will it isn't like me. Maybe if you'd paid more attention the past two months you'd realize I've changed." She turned and left his office slamming the door behind her. After she left he swiped his hand across the end of his desk causing the files to fly to the floor. But he didn't have time to worry about her now, even if he wanted to. He had to be in court as well.

As she made her way to court her heart sank. She hadn't meant to say some of things she had, but he could be so stubborn sometimes. Now out of stress, and physical exhaustion all she could think about was how much she missed him. They worked just feet away from each other, but it seemed like they were half a world apart. She missed talking to him, working together on cases with him. She missed the way he could make her feel. It crushed her to realize that they may not be able to make this work. And it terrified her knowing that if she was pregnant with his child, he wasn't the only one who had been keeping secrets.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N A big thanks to strawberrysab for the input on this chapter and the next.**

 **Chapter 8**

Will tossed and turned all night. The sound of the gunshot followed by panic and sense of loss he'd felt played over and over in his mind. Even if it had only been brief few minutes it was almost more than he could bear. And then images of her walking towards him, and him embracing her bringing down his increased heartbeat and settling his worst fear. This intertwined with how horribly he'd acted this week, and Kalinda's revelation on top of that almost put him over the top. The guilt was as thick as tar as he remembered noticing earlier that day for the first time what he should have seen weeks ago. Alicia had looked so fragile, so distant as she walked away from him that afternoon at the courthouse.

At five relenting to the fact that he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, he rolled out of bed. Her words from just three days ago rang in his ears as he made coffee. _"Maybe if you'd paid attention, you would have noticed."_ They cut through him like a knife. She was right. Where had he gone so wrong? When had he stopped noticing her, stopped paying attention to her, stopped listening to her? That argument hadn't been about work, well it had, but she was upset at the circumstances. But he now realized she was more upset at him. Him personally. He'd told her he'd be there for her and had done the complete opposite. Pushing her away without even realizing it at a time when she probably needed him most. And that, that was the biggest issue of them all at the moment in his mind. He might be a father, and he'd been treating its mother awfully.

He sat down on the couch and closed his weary eyes. _A father…_ He thought to himself. It caused him to smile, and feel terrified all at once. It wasn't confirmed, it may not even be. Either way he knew he had to do something about this mess. It wasn't his entire fault. She was to blame as well. He was sure she'd admit it if they were ever able to have a civil conversation again. It was no wonder she hadn't said anything. She probably loathed the fact that she was carrying his child. And if she wasn't pregnant she still had every right to be upset that he hadn't noticed or inquired about her obvious health issues over the past weeks. This thought caused him to sigh and lie down as he remembered their argument after the vote.

" _All those in favor of opening up the L.A. branch raise your hands." He decided to stand as they took the vote. She remained seated next to him. Hands went up around the room and he began to count. "Twenty four, twenty five, twenty," There was just his vote and hers left to count. "Twenty six" He said pointing to himself as his eyes locked on her waiting for her hand to come up, but she didn't move. She didn't even look up at him. Finally David spoke up. "And by a margin of just one vote, again, that's all we need. Its official we're opening the L.A. branch. Meeting adjourned."_

 _Everyone got up and began exiting the conference room. Will continued to stare at her. The non verbal stance she had just taken made him fume. Finally she pushed her chair from the table and stood up, briefly glancing at him as she moved past him out of the room retreating to her office. He was livid and followed her closing the door behind them. She went and stood behind her desk before acknowledging his presence._

" _You said you'd support me on this." He said pointing his finger at her. She folded her arms. "I changed my mind." She said coldly. "I ask for this one thing Alicia, one thing, and you don't have the decency to support me."_

 _She rolled her eyes_. _"I don't have the decency to support you?" she said raising her voice to match his. "Listen to yourself Will who's the one that hasn't been supporting who here?" Her words had double meaning, but she seemed to be the only one who was aware of the fact. "You can't put this all on me. This, this mess we're in, we're both at fault. You're turning this vote into something personal and it's not. This was a business decision, nothing more. And I don't know why you're so upset anyway. You got what you wanted." She held her stance. He reached his hand up and ran it through his hair._

" _You gave me your word as my business partner that you'd vote with me. How do you think it looks to the other partners if you and I don't stand together on major decisions like this? And I'm not making anything personal. You're the one who can't decipher the difference. This wasn't a business decision you voted against me because you're still angry at me about yesterday for not telling you about the ballot box video."_

" _Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds Will? Not voting with you on a business decision because of what happened yesterday?"_

" _It's the truth though isn't it? I kept it from you, so now you're using it against me. It's just like all the other times, all the other excuses."_

" _What are you talking about?" She was thoroughly confused, and had had about enough of his pointless tirade._

" _Everything Alicia, all the issues we've ever had. You know what? I realized something. Peter is your excuse for everything. He was your excuse at Georgetown. He was your excuse after our first kiss five years ago. He was your excuse two years ago when you broke things off. And even now after your divorced he's still your excuse your scapegoat."_

 _She stood there in stunned silence before responding. "Is that really what you think?" He didn't say anything. They both stood there glaring at the other. Finally she broke the silence. "Get out of my office."_

As he continued lying on the sofa he realized how hurt she had looked. That look was more painful than the one she'd had the night she'd gone on about Peter betraying her again just two months back. And all he'd done was turned around and left her office.

An hour later he dressed and headed to the office. He knew he had to make things right, not just because there was a possibility he was going to be a father, but because he loved her. He loved her more than anything, and the thought that she might leave because of his idiocracy, made him feel queasy.

Three hours later he'd done an enormous amount of work. Work had been a good distraction, but as the minutes passed and she hadn't appeared he grew more anxious. Thirty minutes later after he'd glanced at her office for the hundredth time her assistant came in. "Alicia just called and said she'd be working from home today, and if you had anything for her to email it."

"Ok, thanks Laura." He sat back in his chair dropping the pen from his hand. This either meant one of two things. Either she was too sick to come in, or she didn't want to come in because of him.

He took out his phone and was about to call her when Diane walked in unannounced. "Will" he looked up at her surprised. "Diane what are you doing here?" He rose from his chair and greeted her with a hug.

"Two things. Alicia, and Alicia! I heard it was one of your lawyers that was killed yesterday, and that Alicia was the co council. I stopped by to see how she was. I also had some files I needed to give her, so I called her."

"She's out today." He looked away and went to sit back down.

"I know." She said sternly. "She asked me to bring the files to her apartment. I've just come from there." He looked up at her not being able to hide the guilt. "How is she?" He was almost scared to know the answer even though it's all he'd wanted to know since he'd left her apartment the night before.

"Not good, and from what little I've been able to piece together some of that is your fault. I don't know what you've done, she wouldn't tell me. Just asked how you and I got through arguments. But whatever it is you need to fix it."

He sighed, "I know" he said quietly. "Well there's a little progress you admit it was your fault?"

"It was more my fault than hers." Diane sat down in the chair in front of him.

"At what point were you going to realize she's in no condition to be working, and insist she take some time off? She told me she's been sick for four weeks Will. I've never seen her look so drained."

"Diane I know. Did she tell you what's wrong? With her health I mean."

"No, well she said she didn't know. But I couldn't tell if she said that because she didn't want to discuss it, or if she really doesn't know. She's going to see a doctor this afternoon. Do you know what's wrong with her?"

He looked away. "I have a clue." Diane watched him for a few moments. The worry, the guilt was evident in his every feature.

"Well whether she lets on or not she needs you, and your support."

"I don't know that she wants it anymore, and I certainly wouldn't blame her if she didn't."

"Will, she may be angry at you, but I know that look in her eyes when she talks about you. She wants your support. But if you don't fix what ever mess you two are in, and quickly, she may close the door on you permanently. I know that's not what either of you want. You need to go see her."

"I will"

"No now Will. There will always be work that needs to be done, but work can wait. This needs to be a priority."

"Is that an order?" he couldn't help but smile, and she returned with a grin. "Yes, but don't tell her I issued it!"

"Don't want her to know that you're still trying to play referee?" They both chuckled again.

"Clear your schedule for the morning and go see her. I need to go to work."

 **/**

Alicia was resting on the couch after having worked for a few hours when there was a knock at the door. He was the last person she expected to see standing on the other side.

"Will" She looked more surprised than he would have hoped. He fumbled for the right words. "Hi, can I come in?" She hesitated looking back towards the kitchen as if she were about to say no. But then she turned back to him. "Sure, come on in." She couldn't deny as she closed the door behind him that after yesterday, and after feeling worse today, all she really wanted was to be comforted in his embrace. It would have been easy to fall into his arms and let him support her. But things had been so tense between the two, and she didn't know how he felt. He seemed just as nervous as she was as they entered the living room. She moved around him clearing the blanket and files from the sofa making room for him to sit. "Alicia it's ok, you don't have to…" But she had cleared a spot before he could finish. "Here" She said pointing to the empty space on the sofa. He removed his coat and sat down. "Can I get you something to drink, coffee, juice, ginger ale." She pointed to her glass on the table. "I need more, it helps calm my stomach."

He'd kept his eyes on her the entire time. She finally turned and made eye contact with him. He stood and took the glass from her. "Here sit down, let me get you some more." She hesitated. "Alicia let me do it. Sit down." She handed over the glass and sat down as he made his way to the kitchen. When he returned he sat down next to her handing her the glass. The silence between them was uncomfortable finally she spoke up. "How was your visit with Brett's wife yesterday?"

"She's... devastated, in shock as you would imagine. We went and met her at the hospital. We talked for a bit, and I told her to let us know if she needed anything. I offered to help her with all the legal paperwork and things she'll need to get worked out."

"Good, I'm sorry I couldn't be there. I just..." She bit her lip. Her emotions were right at the surface, and she was feeling the nausea come on again. She stood and walked over to the window. "That could have been me. I could be dead. Do you know what it's like to know you came so close to just being gone?" He stood and moved cautiously towards her.

"No, but I know what it was like to think you were the one who was dead." He moved in behind her and hesitantly reached his hands to her arms. As she turned into him a few tears glistened her cheeks.

"I'm sorry" they both said in unison. But she pulled away placing her hand to her stomach, and headed towards the bedroom. "Alicia"

"Just a sec" She rushed into the bedroom then the bath and closed the door. He was confused for just a few moments before he figured out what was going on. He removed his suit coat, and went to wait just inside her bedroom.

She looked pale as she emerged and stopped when she saw him. Then her tears began to fall. He moved over to her embracing her, running his hands around in circles on her back. She buried her head into his chest leaning against him for support. He felt awful knowing he may have literally helped cause her misery. "Will, I feel horrible." She sobbed.

He pulled her in tighter. "I know" He continued to rub her back. After a few moments she pulled back a bit and looked up at him. "Come lie down." He moved her towards the unmade bed, and set the pillows up so she could sit comfortably. Then he moved to sit next to her. "Will everything is a mess right now, especially work."

"I know, and we're going to fix everything at work. But it seems to me there's something else we need to discuss that's a little more pressing than work." He reached his hand to her arm moving it up and down. "You mean how we never had a chance to talk about us. We said we'd talk when things calmed down after Diane left, after the divorce was out of the way. I'm not so sure waiting was the best idea. It's just made things more complicated."

He smiled knowing she was always the last thing on her mind. "I want to talk about that as well, but... It's almost noon and you're in bed more ill than I've ever seen you. I was thinking that should probably be the first topic of conversation!" She sighed and leant back against the pillows closing her eyes. "You're probably right!"

He took her hands into his. "Alicia, are you pregnant?"

There was a brief pause as her eyes flew open and met his, but she didn't say anything. She didn't know how to respond. Of all the reasons for her to be ill, he chose this one?

"It's mine isn't it?"

She shook her head. "No" he furrowed his eyebrows. "It's not mine?"

"No, yes... I mean I don't know if I'm pregnant. I took a test yesterday. It was negative, but I don't know Will, some parts of this feel like pregnancy and some don't."

 _Negative._ He thought to himself. There was a sense of relief and sadness all at the same time. Over the past eighteen hours he'd convinced himself he was going to be a Dad and he'd grown to love the idea.

"Ok, but if you are, it's mine?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." she looked away again.

"Sorry for what? Alicia look at me." she turned her head back to him. "It took two of us to possibly make a baby. I'm not sorry."

"You're not angry?"

"No, I could never be angry at something so good." His eyes wandered from hers to her stomach. "Ok, but remember I may not even be pregnant. It could be something else."

"I know. But either way I'm here ok, really here this time." She nodded, feeling a slight sense of relief.

"Diane said you have an appointment this afternoon." A smile formed on her lips as he realized his slip up. "Always the mother hen! She called you?" He chuckled.

"No she wasn't that discrete! She came to the office."

"Oh you must have really been in trouble for her to come in person!" He chuckled again. "Yes, you could say that. Do you want me to come with you to the appointment?"

She thought for a minute. "No, thank you, I feel like I need to do this alone. And they'll probably run a bunch of tests, and it will take a long time. You'd be better off holding down the fort at the office. Is that ok?"

"Yes, its fine as long as that's what you want."

"It is"

"Okay, but I expect you to call when you're done."

"I'll do better, we can meet. Now what are we going to do about work?"

"How about we just take one thing at a time? Right now your well being is the most important thing. Work won't blow up over the weekend. In fact I'm going to tell everyone to take the weekend off. Every single person in the office deserves a few days after the past few months."

"Good. Something we can both agree on. This is progress." She said smiling.

"Now what can I do for you? I'll stay here until you have to leave for the appointment."

"Will, you don't have too. The nausea comes and goes. I'm starting to feel better again. I should probably just rest. I'll get showered, and what not later. There's not much you could do."

"Alicia, I'm staying. If for no other reason than to make sure you actually rest! I know you. You say you'll rest, but if I leave you'll be right back in the other room pouring over work again."

She chuckled, "You know me well!"

"I do, and that's why I'm staying. Now close those eyes and get some rest. I'll be in the other room if you need anything." He went to get up, but she grabbed onto his hand. He turned and looked at her again. "Will you sit next to me and let me rest on you? Please, this has been so hard Will."

He smiled, and sat back down removing his shoes. "Yes" He moved around the bed and climbed in on the other side of her. She leaned against him as he put his arm around her, and then gently kissed her forehead. "It's going to be ok Leesh. I promise." He said as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. As he sat next to her holding her, he couldn't help but feel a slight sense of unease. If she wasn't pregnant, he hoped it was something that could be cured easily.


	9. Chapter 9 Diagnosis

**A/N I'll just apologize now. I really am sorry for any hearts that get crushed.**

 **Chapter 9 Diagnosis**

"Alicia." She slowly turned toward the calm voice as she sat in the small exam room blinking a few times in an attempt to pull herself out of the shock and grief. This, this wasn't a dream. This happened to other people not her she thought as the doctor gently placed her hand on her arm. "Alicia, do you need me to call someone to come and get you?"

She cleared her throat and gave a half smile. "No, thank you Janet I'll be fine." She stood slowly and pulled on her coat.

"Okay, but we really do need to do surgery tomorrow. We will do further testing after you've recovered to properly diagnose the other."

Alicia nodded before responding. "I'll call as soon I talk to the kids and make arrangements." She pulled her bag over her shoulder and turned to leave.

"Alicia, we've known each other since you were pregnant with Zach and as a friend I really am very sorry."

"Thank you Janet." She turned and slowly made her way back out of the clinic. It had started to rain outside. But she didn't care as she walked slowly to her car letting the rain fall on her. Once she was in the car she looked at her watch. It was nearly six. The appointment had taken much longer than she'd expected. She sighed and leant back closing her eyes running through the past three hours.

 _"_ _We'll need to test your blood. We need to do an ultrasound. There it is… Something's not right. I want to run some more tests. This would explain the weight loss. We'll want to do thorough testing after surgery. We'll be able to better diagnose after a few weeks recovery."_

She opened her eyes again and stared out at the falling rain. _The kids... How will I explain this to the kids? Grace will be so disappointed, and scared. Zach's trying to get ready for college. He doesn't need this. Mom, Owen, they won't leave me alone. She'll insist on moving in if… Mom cannot move in even if it is bad. You're getting ahead of yourself Alicia. Work, I'll have to cut back for awhile. I don't want to cut back. I like work. Work, Will…_ The thought of him caused her to bring her hand to her mouth allowing the first spell of tears to spill. _How do I tell Will?_

She only let the tears fall for a few brief moments then wiped them away. _Pull it together Alicia. You're strong. You can do this._ She sighed feeling extremely exhausted. _I'm not this strong. I don't think I can do this._

She pulled out her phone and sent Will a text knowing she wouldn't be coherent if she called.

 _Just left clinic. Headed your way._

She got an immediate response.

 _Just left office. Do you want to meet at your place?_

 _No, I'll come to yours. See you soon._

Once she made it to his place she dialed Owen.

"Hey sis"

"Owen" She said doing her best to hold back the tears. "Alicia what's wrong?"

"Owen, listen to me. I need you to check on the kids for me. Make sure they get dinner, and can they stay at your place tonight?"

"Alicia what's going on? Are you in trouble?" She swallowed hard, and cleared her throat. "No Owen. I just need you to do this and not ask any questions right now okay? I'll call you tomorrow. Tell the kids I'm working late, and I'll see them in the morning. If they can't stay at your place see if they can stay with Peter."

"Alicia what's going on?"

"Owen I have to go. Will you check on the kids?"

"Yes of course."

"Thank you" She hung up the phone and continued to sit in her car. She didn't want to move. If she could have dissolved into dust at that moment she would have chosen that over telling Will. Her heart was so heavy she didn't know how to find the words to tell him. She continued to sit there almost in a trance for twenty more minutes until her phone buzzed. It was a text from him.

 _Everything alright? Thought you'd be here by now._

 _On my way up._

She reached for her bag and started to make her way up to his apartment. As soon as he opened the door the tears began to fall. He immediately pulled her into him closing the door behind. She buried her head into his chest and sobbed. His heart sank knowing this could not be good news. He'd really been hoping she was pregnant and they could celebrate tonight. He continued to embrace her, but slowly moved her towards the living area.

"Alicia" Her tears slowed and she looked up at him. The agony in her eyes was almost unbearable. He reached his hand to her face and brushed the loose hair from her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong" he said in almost a whisper.

"I'm pregnant Will."

He fell back a few inches not understanding. His immediate reaction was excitement, but he couldn't understand why this had put her into such hysterics. After their conversation earlier he thought she wanted the baby if this was the result. "And you don't want it now? Alicia I don't understand. Help me out here." He had moved his hands to her arms. "I thought"

She cut him off. She knew saying it out loud would break her heart into a million pieces as well as his but she had to tell him. "I do want it, but we can't have it." The tears overflowed as she waited for his reaction.

He squeezed her arms tighter. "We can. I know I haven't been there for you the past while, but I'm committed to this, to you."

She looked up at him with tear strained eyes and said in barely a whisper. "No, no we can't." She reached down and took his hand pulling him to the sofa. Then she took some deep breaths. "Will, the egg is implanted in one of my fallopian tubes. It's called an Ectopic pregnancy. It can't survive there." She watched as the realization of her words began to sink in. He just stared at her for a few moments letting it register. She noticed the change in his eyes as soon as the reality hit him. It had been one thing to be the one in pain, and grieving. But to now see the same in him was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to experience. "I'm so sorry." She said.

He put his head down running his hands through his hair. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. He hadn't had enough time to process it. He stood and walked over to the large windows almost as an attempt to flee, to somehow turn back time and make this go away. But he couldn't. Her reflection soon appeared in the window and she was moving towards him. The mother of his child that they couldn't keep. The woman who he knew he loved more than life itself. And then she was there reaching hesitantly for his arm. It was the first time he realized she'd been trying to get him to speak.

"Please Will, say something, anything."

Then he did the only thing he could think of. He turned to her and embraced her tightly as if their lives depended on it. She buried her head into his chest and began to cry again. He nestled his onto her shoulder closing his eyes as they shared the pain together.

They stayed that way immoveable in each others arms for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually the only sound in the room was their breathing and the rain splattering against the windows before them. He pulled back just enough so he could look into her eyes. He reached his hand to her face placing it under her chin running his thumb across her cheek wiping her tears. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you. I'm sorry you had to do so much of this on your own."

"I know, and it's ok. I told you not to come."

"So what do we do now? Do we just wait for it too…?" He didn't have the heart to say it out loud.

She shook her head. "It has to be surgically removed. I'm too far along to take medications that would…" A lump in her throat was threatening another round of tears. She swallowed hard. "The doctor wants to do surgery tomorrow." He leaned his head down touching his forehead to hers. "Okay, I want to be there."

"I want you to be there." She whispered back.

"How are you feeling? I mean the nausea and everything." He genuinely wanted to know. She'd been miserable earlier in the day and he couldn't imagine that all this had made her feel any better.

"I'm okay. The doctor gave me some medication for the nausea. It's seemed to help some."

"Alright, then I want you to rest on the sofa while I get us some dinner. You need to eat. Then I'll call Peter and tell him he needs to take the kids tonight. I'm not leaving you alone."

She couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "I've already called Owen. He's on it. But I sure would have loved to hear the conversation between you and Peter."

He smiled "Yeah that would have been interesting."

Over the next few hours they ate, talked and watched a little television avoiding the subject of the baby. They both needed time, and it was easier to not talk about it. Eventually she told him what else she needed to from the appointment.

"The doctor wants to run some more tests after the surgery." She said as if it were just another routine topic of conversation although, it had her quite nervous.

He turned his attention from the news they were watching to her. "What kind of tests? Why?"

"Because she doesn't think all of my symptoms are related to the pregnancy." She sighed and placed the glass she'd been drinking from back on the coffee table. "The weight loss, and the headaches, she thinks they may be symptoms of something else."

"Like what?" He sat up and turned the television off to give her his full attention.

She hesitated, "During my exam she found some… small nodules around the area of my thyroid." She was trying to not let this news bother her, but it did.

"So what does that mean?"

"It means that I could either have thyroid issues, which is controlled very well with medication. Or…" She thought she could handle this, but she was really struggling. "It could be something else." She let the words hang as she stood up from the couch, and began to clear their dinner dishes to help calm the nervousness she felt. It took Will a few moments to process this new bit of information. She moved to the kitchen and he followed her.

"Alicia, I don't even know what to say. So it could be something… worse? He was deeply concerned once again as a new flood of emotions started to hit him..

"She thinks it's hypothyroidism which as I said is handled with medication. But the nodules need to be removed for biopsy, and to prevent complications." She said nonchalantly as she continued to clean their dishes and load them into his dishwasher. He was surprised at how calm and casual she was being about this. He certainly didn't feel calm.

"Alicia" He took hold of the dish she had in her hand and placed in the sink causing her to pause and look at him. "You seem to be handling this well?"

She could see the concern written all over his face. She turned off the faucet and dried her hands then turned to fully face him. "Will, I told you so you would know. After this week and everything between you and I, the shooting, the baby." She put her head down the tears were threatening. "I don't want to think about it. Not tonight."

He moved closer to her and placed his hands around her waist. "Okay, it's late we should get some sleep." She leaned her forehead against his. "That sounds good. I'm exhausted, and tomorrow will be a long day." She reached up placing her hands on his chest. "Can I borrow a t-shirt? I don't really want to wear these clothes all night!" She peered up into his eyes and smiled. "Yes! I assume you want your usual?"

She raised her eyebrows. "It does fit the best!" He pulled his head back with a grin. "I know!"

They laid in the bed for awhile neither one able to find sleep. She was on her back, he turned propping himself up on his elbows and looked at her. "What are you thinking about?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes"

"I'm thinking about how even though all of this is so awful, this baby may have saved my life yesterday." She looked over at him it was hard to make out his features in the dim night light.

"What do you mean?"

"I got sick… in court. I had to leave. If the nausea hadn't been so bad I would have been there." She turned her gaze to the ceiling.

"That's…" He shook his head as a brush of sadness mixed with joy hit him due to the reality that they'd never be able to hold the thing that may have saved her. The thought brought a glimpse of happiness to an otherwise miserable situation.

"It's in there now, still growing?" He said more as a statement rather than a question turning his gaze to her abdomen.

"Yes" she whispered continuing to stare up at the ceiling. "I saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound today." This thought in any other situation would have brought on more tears, but she'd cried so much already it was easier to hold them back.

"Can I?" He reached his hand to place it on her stomach, but hesitated.

She smiled. "Of course!" She took his hand into hers and placed it gently on her abdomen. Their eyes both fixated on his hand.

"You and I made a baby! It's so unreal."

A tender moment for both. She'd been through this twice. But it was always magical to watch the father come to the realization that there was actually a being inside her. She was glad he could have this moment. It wouldn't make things any easier, but she was grateful for the brief pause in their grief.

"Thanks for saving your mom." He said running his thumb in a circular motion on her stomach. She smiled and shook her head. They stayed that way for awhile enjoying the peace and simplicity of it.

"Leesh"

"Yeah"

"What I'm about to say, I'm not looking for a response, I just want you to know."

She turned and looked at him. His eyes were still fixed on their hands. "I love you" She was a little surprised, but before she could respond he turned his gaze towards hers and continued.

"Not just because of this." He pressed on her stomach. "I've loved you for a long time, and I just wanted you to know." He kept staring into her eyes not knowing how she would react, and then she smiled, "Okay" and she leaned in pressing her warm lips to his. Things had been so unsettled over the past few months. They may be at odds when it came to work. But the one thing neither of them could deny was their deep feelings for each other. And he'd just vocalized some of those feelings. They both needed this connection. The closeness brought comfort to both of them. Something they both needed to start the long journey ahead, together.

 **A/N I hope I don't lose any of you. I would really appreciate feedback on this chapter. Time to start working through the mess!**


	10. In This Moment

**AN; Thank you for the continued support! And welcome to the new followers!**

 **Chapter 10 In This Moment**

 _If I could stop time right now and live in this moment forever I would. Alicia sleeping peacefully right next to me. Our baby safe and growing inside her. My arm just like this wrapped around her feeling the gentle rise and fall of her stomach. She's so beautiful that porcelain skin and her long eyelashes. It feels so right even though things are far from right. Remember is moment. Her carrying our child may never happen again._

He sighed and turned over onto his back releasing his grasp on her sleeping body.His thoughts turned to a moment a few years earlier. Another moment he'd etched into his memory. A moment he'd hoped back then could be a reality some day just like this one.

" _What are you looking at?" She said peering up at him having just woken up._

" _You" he smiled._

" _Close your eyes!" She leaned over and pressed her lips to his. He reached his hands wrapping them around her pulling her on top of him. She pulled back and folded her arms across his chest smiling widely at him._

" _You really are happy aren't you?"_

 _She started running her finger around in circles on his chest. "Yes! I meant what I said last night." She briefly turned her gaze to the French doors that opened up to their balcony, and then turned back to him. "I haven't been this happy in a long time Will."_

 _He pulled her closer to him quickly turning her so he was on top of her. He pressed his lips to hers again. And they made love as the sun rose over the New York skyline._

He glanced at the clock sitting on the bedside table. Six it read. He'd been awake for at least an hour. He got out of bed and moved to the kitchen starting some coffee. Turning towards the table he noticed his brief case.

 _Work good, the perfect distraction._ He moved to the table and pulled out some files to work on. An hour later buried deep in work he didn't realize she'd been watching him for a few minutes.

 _I love you_.

His words from the previous night kept running over and over through her mind. She knew he meant it. Deep down she probably loved him too, but it scared her. All of this scared her. She felt so close to him in ways, yet so distant. There was too much on her mind. She knew in the next few weeks there would be far more time for her to over think and analyze everything including those words. She would need a distraction.

 _Work will be the perfect distraction. I'll just need to convince him._

She tried to get some coffee without disrobing him, but was unsuccessful.

"How did you sleep?" he said not looking up from the file in front of him.

"Good" She moved to the table and sat next to him. "And you?"

He looked up their eyes meeting. He gave her a half smile. "Good" He lied. "How are you feeling?"

She sighed leaning back in the chair. "Nauseous"

 _Idiot, of course she's nauseous. She's been nauseous for weeks. I have to make this up to her._ "What can I get for you?"

"My purse. I need the nausea medication. And do you have any cereal?" He eyed her questioningly. "It's the only thing I'm able to keep down in the morning these days."

"You don't even like cereal."

She smiled. "Yeah pregnancy is a funny thing!"

He looked over to the cupboard. "I'll check." He stood and retrieved her purse from he coffee table. Handing it to her he moved over to the cupboard and opened it. "I have cheerios."

"That will be fine."

They sat and ate in silence. Finally she spoke up. "I need to call the hospital. Then I should probably get home. I should be there before the kids get back." She rubbed her hands over her face. "How are we going to keep this quiet?"

He moved his hand to her arm. "The hospital staff will be circumspect. And I have a plan for work."

She looked up at him over her fingertips. "You have a plan?" She smiled.

"I know, I thought I'd try it out for awhile. See if plans are all they're cracked up to be!"

She smiled chuckling a little.

"Do you want me to come with you? I mean to talk to Zach and Grace?"

By the expression on her face the thought had clearly never even crossed her mind. It took a few moments for her to respond.  
"No, I think it will be best if I tell them alone. But I do want you to be at the hospital."

"I will be there. I could come pick you up from home if you want." Even though part of him wanted to distance himself from the baby, he felt a strong need to take care of her and make sure everything was alright. He wanted to make this as easy on her as possible. He wanted to be there for her. But he didn't know how much she wanted him to be there, so he decided he would follow her lead.

"That might be... Let me talk to the kids first."

He nodded. "How long is the recovery?"

"I'll have to spend two days in the hospital. Two weeks before I'll likely feel well enough to go into the office. Six weeks before I should really be doing long days and going to court." She sighs and looks away shaking her head. "Longer if… I'm going to go crazy for that amount of time out of the office."

"You've done it before for much longer. You need to take care of yourself. I shouldn't have allowed you to work as much as you have the past few weeks."

She sits up in her chair now irritated. "Will I want to work and you can't tell me not to." She stood from her chair and turned to leave the room. He grabbed her arm as he stood turning her toward him.

"I didn't mean it that way. You can work. I'll be the last person on the planet to say you can't. You just need to take it easy for awhile. You can work from home if you're up to it. That's the beauty of being you. No one can tell you when or where to work!"

"I suppose your right." She sighed.

He put his hand under her chin. "I will never force you to do something you don't want to."

She looked away. "Okay. I'm just nervous about today."

He pulled her close placing his arms around her waist. "Everything is going to be fine. Don't worry." They stared at each other for a few moments then she pulled away patting him on the chest.

"I need to change."

His eyes followed her down the hall. Once she was out of sight he returned back to the table and sat.

 _I'm going to have to watch what I say. After the past month anything I say could be taken the wrong way .I've broken more of her trust than I realized. I am so tired and the day has just begun. What happens after the surgery? We can't just go on as if none of this ever happened. I don't know if she'll ever want to talk about it. I don't know if I will ever want to talk about it."_

He sat back in the chair and closed his eyes. _This might tear us further apart. We can't exactly tell anyone what's really going on. At least not with the baby .We aren't even together really. At least I don't think we are. I love her, but..._ _Just get through today._

He stood pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind and went to shower.

/ 

Zach and Grace sat across from Alicia on the sofa. Owen was in the chair next to them. "There is something I need to talk to you guys about."

"Is it about you being sick?" Zach asked.

"Yes. You two are old enough now to understand some things. I have to go to the hospital in a few hours and have some surgery done."

That caught Owens attention. "You what?"

Both Zach and Grace looked worried. "What for?" Zach said.

Alicia bit her lip and looked away for a moment. Then turned her gaze back to them. "I'm pregnant." Grace and Zach looked at each other slightly shocked.

"Your pregnant?" Owen said to clarify.

"Yes"

"Is it Peter's?" He continued.

It was time to just get it all out. "No. It's Will's."

"Mom" Grace said upset. "You divorce Dad, and then you just..." She folded her arms and looked away from Alicia.

"Grace listen to me. Sometimes people, grownups, make mistakes."

"So it was a mistake? This baby was a mistake and so now you're going to get rid of it?" Grace didn't know what to think. She was angry that her mother would even consider such a thing.

Zach piped in. "Grace they aren't even dating. They can't have a baby together."

"Well they had to have gone out at least once. How else could mom be pregnant?"

"Stop" Alicia said sternly. "Grace this baby is not a mistake in the sense that I would ever consider getting rid of it. Will and I weren't being careful. It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I was angry at your father and even though that isn't a good excuse things happened. Things that I can't take back. I would never abort one of my own children. Do you understand?"

Grace calmed down some. "Then why?" She sat back against the sofa folding her arms. "Because Will doesn't want it?"

"No, because the baby can't survive." The tears started to well up. "It's growing in one of my fallopian tubes, and there's nothing we can do." They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Do you love Will? Are you guys dating?" Zach asked.

"I... It's complicated. I care about Will. He cares about me. We are good friends. But love is a strong word, and I'm not ready to be in another relationship yet."

"But you must care about him enough to sleep with him. And what if the baby was going to be okay? Would you two get married? Would you share custody? Did Will even want a baby?" Zach inquires.

"Yes, Will wanted this baby once he found out about it. But that was only two days ago. I didn't even know I was pregnant for sure until yesterday. He is going to be at the hospital today, and I need you two to try and understand how difficult this is for both of us. I know this is hard, but you're old enough to try and understand."

"I think what your mom is trying to say is that she'd like it if you guys could try to get along with Will." Owen said. The two nodded then looked back at Alicia.

"I have to stay at the hospital for a few days. If you two want to come and wait during the surgery you can. If you'd rather not, and just want to come later this evening that's fine too. I will call your Dad and see if you can stay with him."

"They can stay with me if they want." Owen offers.

She looked over to him with a grateful smile. "Or you can stay with Owen." She decided to not tell them about the thyroid issues. One disaster at a time.

Grace stood from the sofa. "I'd rather come later if that's alright." Alicia stood and gave her a hug.

"It's fine. I love you."

Zach stood and she embraced him as well. "I need you guys to keep this quiet okay?"

"Don't worry Mom, usual Florrick top secret protocol has been initiated!" Zach smiled. Then they both went back to their rooms.

"I've ruined them haven't I?" She sat on the sofa and closed her eyes.

"No. Alicia they are good kids. If they were going to go off the deep end they would have done it by now. And at least you're honest with them. Unlike some parent's we know! You're a good mom. You'll all get through this."

"I don't know Owen. I don't know if I will get through this one."

Will knocked on the door to Alicia's apartment awhile later. Owen answered. "Hey Will"

"Hey Owen"

"Come on in. Alicia's almost ready." Just then she walked out of her bedroom.

"Hey"

"Hi"

"Kids your mom's ready to leave." Zach and Grace emerged from the living room. They both gave Alicia a hug. "I love both of you very much. Don't have to much fun with Owen while I'm gone!"

"Oh we have a big party planned for tonight right here!" Owen teased.

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Well just make sure you clean up afterwards." she turned towards the door.

"Does that mean we can have a party?" Zach asked with a grin. She turned back towards him. "Sure invite anyone you want to come sit with you in the hospital with your recovering mother! It will be loads of fun!" Everyone laughed. Then Alicia and Will left.

They rode in silence for a awhile. She stared out the window. He kept turning towards her didn't say anything. Finally he spoke up.

"How did it go with the kids?

"Fine. They had a lot of questions about… us. But I think I cleared it all up."

Just then she grabbed onto his leg with one hand squeezing tightly grabbing her stomach with the other crying out in pain.

"Alicia what's wrong?" He grabbed her hand and kept looking from her to the road. The pain was slowly subsiding, and she was able to breathe again.

"It's a cramp." She took a few deep breaths and turned to him. He looked terrified. "It's okay. This happens a few times a day. I'll be fine in a minute."

"Should I pull over?" He was very concerned.

"No keep driving." He kept his hand on hers as she leant back in the seat and closed her eyes. He kept glancing at her as he continued to drive. A few minutes later she squeezed his hand and cried out again. The pain was worse this time.

"Alicia I'm pulling over."

"No we need to get to the hospital." She said in between holding her breath.

"We're almost there. Just… I don't know take deep breaths."

A few tears escaped from her eyes. "I'm trying. It hurts… a lot."

He squeezed her hand tighter. "I'm sorry" he said feeling completely inadequate to take care of her.

"I know" she said as a few more tears fell. She was glad he was there. And even gladder the kids weren't with them. A few minutes later they arrived. He hurried out of the car and went to help her out. "Put your arms around my neck."

"Will I can walk." But just then another pain hit. He reached in and pulled her out carrying her towards the entrance. The adrenalin had kicked in. "You can walk when we leave."

Seeing her current state the doctor and nurses rushed her into surgery immediately after they arrived. He was left standing at the entrance to the OR. He just stood there for a few minutes looking down the empty hallway. Then he looked around as though he were lost.

"Sir" a nurse said. "The surgery waiting area is just down the hall."

He nodded acknowledging her. "Thanks" He slowly made his way down the hall and found a quiet space to sit. He leaned over and placed his head in his hands. He felt empty. This loss was affecting him more than he'd expected. Three days ago becoming a father was the last thing on his mind. He hadn't even realized he wanted to be a father. But now that he'd experienced the idea he knew he did. A harsh reality at this point. He closed his eyes and tried to not think of anything for the next while.


	11. Holding Back

**Chapter 11 Holding Back**

The conference room was filled with chatter as Will walked from the elevator towards his office. He'd been in court all morning and had called a quick meeting with equity partners and department heads on his way back from the courthouse. His goal was to answer as few questions as possible and get back to work.

"Mr. Gardner, do you know where Alicia is? I can't get a hold of her at home or on her cell. She has several missed calls, and she missed her ten o'clock appointment." Alicia's assistant said as he turned the corner to enter the conference room. Will turned and signaled for her to follow him.

"Quiet everyone." He said as he stood at one end of the conference table. All eyes turned to him.

"Where is Alicia? She was supposed to help Katie with the Dunlap case this morning." David Lee said clearly annoyed.

The comment only added to Will's irritable state. It had been a long weekend, and he was losing his case in court. 'Alicia is the reason I called this meeting. She had a brief stay at the hospital over the weekend and will be returning home later today." The room became more silent. "As some of you know she hasn't been feeling well."

Kalinda entered the room. Will briefly glanced at her before continuing. "She has been having some problems with her thyroid. She is under good care and will be back in the office in two weeks once her health has improved. Until then she will be working from home. If you need to contact her send an email or call starting tomorrow. We will be delivering any files or work product she needs to her daily. Any questions today on her current cases should be run by me. For the next few weeks do not bother her unless absolutely necessary. I want to emphasize that she is fine, and that this will not impact her ability to work. Katie I can help with the case at four. That's it. Everyone get back to work." He turned and left the conference room before anyone could ask questions.

He headed back to his office. Kalinda followed closing the door behind her. She sat in the chair across from his desk. He sat rubbing his face with his hands. "Long weekend?" She asked.

"Very" he sighed and sat back in his chair.

"I found something for you to use against Mr. Mills." She handed him the file in her hand. He took it and looked over its contents.

"Thanks, I can use this today." He didn't look up and continued to thumb through the files contents. She waited for him to say more, but clearly he wasn't going to. He was obviously distracted.

"So I was wrong?"

He looked up from the file confused. "Wrong about what?"

"Alicia's-condition."

It took a few moments for him to realize she was asking about Alicia being pregnant. "No you were right." He looked back to the file.

"So she is..." She didn't know how far to push him for answers.

He sighed "Not anymore." He looked up and she noticed a brief look of sorrow in his eyes. He closed the file and pulled out his phone. "I need to make a few calls before I head back to court. See what you can find out on the insurance company. We start depositions on that next week. And Come see me tomorrow I have a new client coming in."

She closed her notebook and stood. "You're okay right? And Alicia is okay? Because I heard a rumor that her stay at the hospital was a little intense for awhile." He looked worried but smiled in an effort to hide his true feelings.

"It was. But she's fine now." She turned to leave but he stopped her. If it had been anyone but Kalinda he wouldn't have continued. "You heard a rumor?"

"Yeah" she said turning back to him.

"How does this stuff even get out?" He shook his head.

"Will there are people who keep tabs on Alicia because of Peter even though they aren't married anymore. Some people want to hurt Peter, even if that means hurting his family. Some people just have too much time on their hands."

He was angry. "If you hear any more "rumors" I want to know. And I want to know where they came from. If anything that went on this weekend ends up in the press and I find out who leaked it there will be hell to pay."

"Got it." She said and turned to leave once again.

"K"

She turned once more as he stood. "We are both okay. Alicia is recovering. They'll continue to make medication adjustments until things get worked out."

She nodded and left his office glancing back at him through the window as she rounded the corner.

" _Yep looks okay to me Will. If he's in this bad a shape I can only imagine how Alicia is doing."_

He went and sat in his leather chair grateful she hadn't pressed him for details. The weekend had been tense. Alicia ruptured while they were prepping her for surgery. They'd had to open her all the way up instead of making a few small incisions like they'd planned. She'd lost a lot of blood, and they had to remove the fallopian tube where the fetus had been. She was an emotional wreck by Saturday night with the surge of hormones and the entire situation. She'd been strong while the kids were there, but once they were gone she'd cried on his shoulder on and off for the next few hours until she fell asleep.

Sunday she'd been quiet and slept on and off the entire time he'd been there. Partially due to the medications they had her on. At one point almost asleep she'd told him he didn't need to stay, but he insisted. The smile that crossed her lips when he had stayed was proof enough that she really did want him there, but wasn't willing to be the one who made the decision. She was going home today. In fact she was probably on her way with Veronica as he sat there.

T _hings will be fine. Everything will be back to normal in a few weeks._ He told himself once again. Words he'd said to himself numerous times over the weekend. But deep down he knew things would never be the same. Not for him anyway. He'd remained strong and pulled together for Alicia. She needed him to comfort her, and help her through the loss, and pending circumstance. Inside he felt far from strong and pulled together, and he was exhausted. He thought after the lost sleep from the previous few days that once he hit the pillow the previous night he'd sleep well. But he hadn't. He thought this would be easier to get over, to move on. But it wasn't. He felt lost and out of place wondering if other men felt this way after similar situations, or if it was just him _._

 _I just need to burn off some stress_. He thought to himself. _Then I'll be fine. I'll go for a run before I go see her tonight.  
_  
He did go for a run. He ran until his lungs hurt. He went home showered and then went to her apartment. Veronica had stayed with her until he'd arrived. The kids were with Peter for one more night. After he'd seen Veronica out he returned to her bedroom where she was getting out of bed.

"Don't even think about telling me to get back into that bed." She said as she passed him to go out to the living room.

"I won't!" He smiled and followed her into the living room. She made slow progress. He moved around her and propped up the pillows on the sofa for her. 

"Thank you for coming. I think another hour with Mom and I would have gone crazy. Have you eaten?"

"No he said sitting next to her."

"There's plenty of food left in the kitchen. Mom is worried I'll starve if I have to cook anything for myself." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure between Mom, and Jackie."

"Jackie" he said raising an eyebrow.

"Don't ask." She said rolling her eyes again. "There will be enough food around here to feed an army for three weeks.

He chuckled. "I'll get some. Thanks."

He returned a few minutes later with a full plate of food and a glass of water for each of them. "There's probably a beer in the refrigerator if you want one."

"No, I'm trying to cut back."

This caused her to chuckle. "What I wouldn't do for a good glass of wine right now."

"Ah no alcohol for you until the medications are worked out."

She sighed. "I know. How was work today?"

"Good. I held the meeting just like I told you. No one asked any questions. David was annoyed, but I just ignored him. I brought some files for you."

"How long until he leaves?"

"Six weeks I think."

"Thank you for the files. It will be nice to have something to distract me tomorrow."

"How are you feeling?"

"Good when the pain meds are in full effect, although that hasn't helped the tears that seem to come at the drop of a coin. But that will subside in a few weeks after the hormone levels work themselves out. On a positive note this is the first day in weeks I haven't been nauseous. So overall I'm good I guess."

"Well that is progress. Let me know if you need me to get you anything." he smiled and continued eating.

"I will" She smiled back at him. "I'll consider this payback for taking care of you a few years ago!"

"What?" He said pretending not to know what she was referring to.

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you've forgotten the homemade soup and warm tea I made for you. Or the cold washcloths I placed on your forehead for hours."

"Nope"

"How about the three trips I made to the market to get you medication for the newest ailment that came up over those two days?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" He couldn't help but tease her. She continued to play along.

"Will I spent hours reading case notes to you that weekend so you'd be ready for court on Monday." she sat up straight and started to glare at him. "If you can't remember the soup that you couldn't get enough of that weekend, don't expect it again." She couldn't hold back the slight laugh that fell from her lips.

He cracked a little smile and took another bite of his food.  
"First of all the reason I had you read is because I like the sound of your voice. Secondly you knew full well that I was feeling much better by Sunday, but I pretended to be really sick so you'd stay and take of me/"

She smiled a little and then threw a pillow at him. "Yes I knew." She sat back against the sofa again. He put his plate on the coffee table.

"Yes you did know and you still let me get away with it."

"I liked taking care of you, even if we were just pretending the second day. That was a good weekend."

"It was, and I have to admit I quite enjoyed "nurse Alicia" before you went home Sunday night!"

"We both enjoyed that!" There were a few moments of awkward silence before she spoke again. "So tell me about this new client you have coming in tomorrow."

They discussed clients for awhile and watched some television. After a few hours Alicia was tired and the medication was starting to wear off.

"I should get to bed. I'm exhausted and I haven't done anything today." She said.

"Do you need anything before I go?" He assumed she wouldn't want him to stay so he didn't offer. But she did. She assumed he wouldn't want to stay so she didn't say anything.

"I need to take some more meds. Can you get them for me? They're in the Kitchen."

After she took them he helped her get up off the couch. He noticed her hand move to her stomach. "Are you sure you don't need anything else?"

"Yes. I'm sure I'll sleep like a rock. It's nearly impossible to get a good nights sleep in the hospital. I'm glad to be home." They continued to the front door. Once he'd opened it she spoke again.

"Will"

"Yeah" He turned to face her.

"Thank you" She paused she could tell the tears were threatening to spill at any moment, but she didn't want him to worry. "For everything"

He smiled nodded his head and leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Talk to you tomorrow"

She closed the door and went to the bedroom as the tears started to fall. She felt alone and was in far more pain than she'd let on. She knew she could have asked him to stay with her and he would have. But something prevented her from asking. There was an invisible wedge between them now and neither one could quite put their finger on it. They still had heaps of issues to work through even though all either one really wanted and needed was to have the strong support and presence of the other.

He continued to call her when he was at work, and went to see her every night. The first night he was there with the kids was a bit awkward. By the time he left the following night Zach had warmed up, and Grace was starting too after he'd walked her through some tricky homework. Things were less awkward over the next days. He and Grace had had an interesting discussion on religion. Grace appreciated the fact that he was willing to discuss religion with her, and that he had seemed genuinely interested. Zach enjoyed having someone to discuss sports with other than the two women who only half listened when he talked about March madness, or the upcoming baseball season.

Alicia sat back and watched his interaction with them the whole week appreciating the fact that it didn't seem like he felt out of place. In fact it was quite the opposite. He'd seemed to settle right in siding with the kids when she went to do something they all thought she shouldn't. They would hardly let her lift a finger. She enjoyed the quiet hours at home alone when no one was there to try and tell her what to do.

Friday she went in for medication adjustments and surgery follow up. Her biopsy results were to be in the beginning of the following week. During surgery the physicians decided that removal of the nodules wasn't necessary. The one in particular they were most concerned with wasn't in as bad an area as they thought. So they just took samples and didn't have to make any incisions. She was grateful for this because she didn't want to worry the kids unless necessary.

But Monday the specialist called and said it would be the end of the week before the results would be back. She was very concerned that the result would not be good news. She kept busy with work during the days to distract her from these thoughts. But each night after he left well after the kids had gone to sleep, her thoughts got the better of her and she cried herself to sleep most nights. Recovering from pregnancy mixed with the thyroid fluctuations didn't help with the emotions.

It didn't take long for her to realize that she wished he were there with her during the night. She enjoyed having him there spending time with she and the kids. Even if after nearly two weeks he still insisted on doing everything for her. It was comforting to have him show up each night after work and know that for the few hours he was there she wouldn't feel so worried or anxious.

What she didn't know was that each night after he left, he usually returned to the office for a few more hours. Work had become his coping mechanism. Once he did drag himself home he only slept for about five hours unable to sleep any longer. In the beginning he was looking forward to having her back in the office and hoping they could move on from this heart break. But the closer that day got the more he worried. Once she came back they could work through the conflicts at the office. But putting the baby behind was proving more difficult for him. He was worried how seeing her all day long would really affect him. He still felt responsible and helpless over everything.

Thursday morning of the second week he was sitting in his office buried in work, literally, when he got a text message from her.

 _Can you come over for lunch?_

 _Yes, is something wrong?_

 _No. I just wanted some company!_

 _Okay, see you in about two hours._

He put his phone back in his pocket. He was looking forward to being able walk fifteen feet from his office to hers to go to lunch instead of making a twenty minute drive.

A few hours later he arrived on her doorstep. She opened the door almost immediately. He walked into the now very familiar space and removed his jacket turning his full attention to her. Instead of sweats and a t-shirt which she'd lived in since she'd been home she was wearing a nice pair of jeans and a sweater. He hadn't realized until then that she hadn't been wearing any makeup all the other days he'd seen her. She was today.

"Hey you look good! Feeling better today?" he asked as they moved into the living room.

She turned to face him. He was unable read her expression. "Yes some." She reached down and took his hands. "The doctor called. The results are in." His heart briefly stopped beating. What ever she said next he was prepared for the worst. He'd decided over a week ago that no matter the result he'd be there for her for as long as she wanted him. If it was cancer he was ready. He was ready to help her fight through it if need be. He was scared to death and felt weak in the knees as he tried to read her expression.

 **A/N; Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope this chapter isn't confusing. I know exactly what's going on in these two's heads, but I realize some of it gets lost in translation to paper. So send me a message if anyone needs clarification. I promise a little fluff in the next chapter since we've been a bit short on that in these previous few chapters!**


	12. Celebrate a Date

**Chapter 12 Celebrate a Date**

After taking his hands Alicia paused to look at him before continuing. "They came back negative!" She smiled broadly and he immediately wrapped his arms around her exhaling a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He buried his head into hers pulling her in closer.

"That is good news!" he whispered running his hands up and down her back. "Really good news."

"I was so worried Will." Her body started to tremble from the huge relief the news had brought. For the first time in nearly two weeks she let the tears fall in front of him and let him hold her. She loved being in his arms. He had such a soothing calming effect on her which was exactly what she needed.

He pulled back slightly after feeling her tears "Hey it's okay." he said bringing his hand to her cheek to wipe away the tears. "You're okay."

"I know" she said burying her head into his chest again.

"Alicia you're trembling." His grasp tightened on her.

"Just hold me for a few minutes. Please Will."

"Okay" The sense of relief for him was huge. He'd been expecting the worst. Holding her now didn't solve many of the other issues but now there wasn't so much of an uncertain future that had existed just ten minutes earlier. He was glad she was allowing him to once again be this close to her. There had been hesitance from both on closeness ever since she'd come home.

A short few minutes later her body relaxed into his and they just enjoyed being in each others arms. She eventually pulled back a bit and smiled up at him. He returned the gaze. She slowly leaned in closer shutting her eyes pressing her lips to his. It turned into a long lingering kiss. One thing was certain. The physical attraction between them was strong and they both knew it. Eventually he pulled away and brushed the stray strands of hair behind her ears.

"I seem to remember something about you asking me here for lunch!"

She smiled and tilted her head. "That was an appetizer!"

He chuckled continuing to run his hands up and down her back. "And a good one at that!"

"Lunch is in the kitchen." She released her grasp on him and without a second thought reached down and took his hand leading him to the kitchen. She hadn't even realized the small gesture, but he did. The few times years earlier where she'd allowed him to hold her hand always sent tingles through him. This was no different. As they sat and ate The conversation flowed easily.

"Are you still planning on coming into the office on Monday?"

"Yes I think so." she said moving to get up so she could load the dishwasher.

"No let me do it." he said placing his hands on her waist preventing her from standing further. She knew it wasn't worth arguing with him. She'd tried several times over the past week to do simple tasks like the dishes, or even getting them drinks. But when he was there he wouldn't let her lift a finger. In the beginning it was sweet, and she really didn't feel well enough to do much. But she couldn't figure out why now nearly two weeks later he still insisted on doing everything.

She watched him as he rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. She couldn't deny it was sexy to watch every time he'd done it in the past week. "You are going to let me work when I come back to the office right?" she said lifting her glass of water to her lips. He looked up and met her gaze.

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" He was completely bewildered by the question..

"Will, I appreciate all the help. I really do, but I'm doing much better now. Putting dishes into the washer isn't going to leave me laid up in bed for the rest of the day."

Confusion set in for a minute before he realized what she was trying to say. He'd just been trying to be as supportive of her as he could. He hadn't even correlated work with his presence at her apartment. In ways he still held the two relationships, work and non work, quite separate. A shy grin crossed his features as he placed the last plate into the washer, and went to stand next to her. "I'm sorry. You probably feel like I'm trying to take over. I just don't want you to be in any more pain than is necessary." He moved his hands around her waist again.

"I know. And I'm mending. It's fine. But once I'm back in the office I'm not going to allow you to sit in my office all day waiting on me hand and foot. You can do all of that you want here, but not at work." She grinned at him causing him to feel more at ease. He moved in closer to her.

"So I should cancel the personal assistant I hired for you?" He said it with such a straight face she thought he was serious.

"You didn't?"

He started to laugh. "No!" She smiled again shaking her head. She was once again caught off guard by how awake her senses were with his hands on her waist. He seemed to sense it too because he leaned in and kissed her again this time with more passion than before. He gently lifted her off the stool and carried her back to the sofa where they continued to explore one another's mouths. She gently pushed him down against the pillows and was soon on top of him. Despite the fact that this was how the whole heartbreaking situation had come about, if she hadn't needed to recover for a few more weeks she would have already had him nearly undressed.

On the other hand as much as he was enjoying this little make out session and would gladly continue. He couldn't get the image of their last night together less than two weeks earlier out of his mind. The image of his hand on her stomach knowing that in a few short hours the little mix of him and her would be gone. Instead of these thoughts forcing him to pull away, it only made him kiss her more intensely.

Eventually she did pull back and looked him straight in the eye. "Will what are we going to do?"

"About what?"

"With this. Let's be honest no matter the circumstances, we are incapable of keeping our hands off each other."

They both moved to a sitting position. "I know." He ran his hands through his hair. "It's time for us to talk. Really talk. Not about work, not about everything that's happened the past few months, but about us. It's time to have the conversation we've been avoiding for five years."

"You're right. But doesn't everything that's happened recently have a lot to do with-us?" She looked at him hoping he'd look at her.

"Yes, but we need to try and have a normal relationship for awhile. One that's not just about the next encounter, or crisis. One that doesn't just exist after work, or on the occasional weekend." He turned and looked at her.

"I think that's a good idea."

He took her hands into his. "Here's what I propose. We talk and I take you out on a date."

"A date?" she said with raised eyebrows.

"Yes a real date. One where I come pick you up and we go out. I hold your hand and take you to dinner. We don't worry about who may see us. We spend time together somewhere other than a hotel, or our apartments."

"You mean try and build a relationship on solid ground!" She squeezed his hands tighter.

"Yes" He got a goofy grin on his face. "Alicia I know it's been a very long time since I asked you this. Over twenty years in fact. But I was wondering if you'd go out with me!"

She smiled and turned her gaze from him. "Hum I don't know, you may not be my type. You might have to convince me!" Her lips turned up in a closed smile as her eyes wondered back to his. He chuckled and shook his head. Then reached his hand to her chin turning her face towards his and placed his lips to hers again.

"How was that for convincing?" He said still holding her chin in his hand.

"Good! I would love to go out with you."

"Okay, two weeks from tomorrow after you've had time to re-adjust back to work."

"I'll put it in my schedule." She said leaning back on the sofa closing her eyes. He placed his hand on her thigh as he pulled out his cell phone.

"You should rest, and I should get back to work."

"Yeah, hey why don't you come over for dinner tonight? The kids are having dinner with Peter. We can celebrate."

"Okay I'll come back around…" He was scrolling through missed messages. He'd put the phone on silent just before he'd gotten to her apartment. Five missed calls from the office. Alicia opened her eyes when he hadn't continued.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he stood and dialed the office. She watched as he paced back and forth while talking to the person on the other line.

"How long ago? Are they still there? They had a warrant right? You only gave them files on that case? Find Kalinda, I'm on my way back now." He hung up and looked back to Alicia who was concerned now.

"Will what's going on?" He sighed. "The feds have been at the office."

"What?" She stood "Why?"

"To collected all of our files on the ballot box case." He let the words hang. She felt sick again and placed her hand on her stomach.

"I'm coming back with you." She turned towards the bedroom. He rushed over to her placing his hand on her arm stopping her.

"No. You need to rest. The feds have already gone anyway. There isn't anything we can do until we know what they're after. I'll put Kalinda on it."

"The feds? Will we could all be indicted for the small parts we played in that." The stress began to seep through her once again.

"Alicia it's not going to come to that. We didn't do anything wrong."

"But you knew about the video and you didn't do anything about it."

"Yes, because Peter never looked at it, and told me to do what I wanted with it as his lawyer. I'm protected under attorney client privilege." He placed his hands around her waist once again and turned her into him. "It's going to be fine. I know we need to talk about this. I want to talk about this so that you understand why I did what I did. But I need to get back to the office."

"I feel so helpless here."

"You're doing exactly what you need to be doing right now, and that's recovering. I promise to keep you in the loop. If anything else comes up today I will call. Don't worry it will all work out."

"Promise you won't keep anything from me?"

"I promise" He leaned in and kissed her one more time before letting go. He could tell she was stressed it was evident in her every feature. "Alicia it's been a good day. It will continue to be a good day. I'll see you tonight. We're celebrating." 

"Alright" she gave in. She was tired, and could feel a headache coming on. A trip to the office would definitely ruin any plans she had for later. He turned and walked towards the door closing it behind him. She walked slowly to the bedroom, and climbed into bed wrapping the covers tightly around her before falling asleep.


	13. Surprise

**A/N; This is lengthy but there wasn't a very good breaking point. I wasn't planning on this chapter, but a few of my faithful reviewers prompted this one and I'm glad they did. So here's a little more fluff for one of you, and some family interaction for the other!**

 **Chapter 13 Surprise**

"Mom" Grace called entering the dining room. Alicia's mind had wondered from her work again, something that had been occurring all day. One minute she would be doing the dishes and the next thing she knew ten minutes had passed and she was still holding the dish she'd meant to put in the dishwasher. Now she sat at the kitchen table pen in hand lost in thought once again. Her thoughts kept turning to her first day back to work which would occur in about fourteen hours. She'd played through what she thought was every possible scenario. She couldn't figure out why it was bothering her so much. She was excited to get back to work and be somewhere other than the confines of her apartment.

"Mom" Grace called again a bit louder this time rousing her out of her thoughts.

"What is it honey?"

Grace moved and sat at the table next to her. "You looked really far away there." Alicia smiled and hugged her.

"I was. What do you need?"

"I was just wondering how you were? You've seemed-worried all day. Is it because you're going back to work tomorrow?"

Alicia wondered how no matter what she did or how hard she tried to hide the times when she was the most worried or ill, Grace always seemed to know. Grace really could read her well most of the time. This came as no surprise. After the scandal with her father years ago, Grace had been forced to grow up sooner than most soon to be twelve year olds. It was times like this where the worry about she and Peter having ruined the children was subsided for a brief period.

"Yes I'm a bit nervous I guess."

"But why? Will will be there won't he?" She was taken aback a bit by Grace's comment.

"Yes, but why would that matter?"

"He'll protect you from any mean clients, and he'll make sure you don't work to hard." She said with a grin.

Will's presence over the past two weeks had obviously had an influence on Grace if she was will to use words like protect. It seemed she'd determined no matter what the undefined role he played in Alicia's life, Will would watch out for her mother. Something neither she nor her brother could do while she was at work.

"Yes Grace I suppose he will."

Grace continued. "Then you don't have anything to worry about. With Will there, and with you being the boss, no one can tell what you what to do. If all you do is sit at your desk all day and surf the net you can't get in trouble for it."

Alicia loved how simple and innocent Grace looked at things sometimes. Although she wasn't entirely wrong. She really could do what ever she wanted at work, it just wouldn't necessarily be very productive in some instances. Her productivity wasn't the thing she was worried about.

"You know what Grace you're right. Thank you for helping me get over my nerves." She smiled broadly at Grace in an attempt to ease the teen's worries.

"Is he still going to come over now that you're feeling some better?"

Alicia didn't answer for a few moments. She hadn't really thought about it. "I don't know. How would you feel if he did come around occasionally?"

Grace turned her gaze from her mother. "It would be fine. I like Will."

Alicia could sense the hesitancy in her voice. "But"

Grace turned back to Alicia. "It was strange at first to have him here because I didn't really understand his role, or your relationship. But Will really likes you." Alicia continued to listen realizing how perceptive Grace really was. "He cares about you. You seem happy when he's here. I guess sometimes it reminds me of how it used to be when Dad came home from work and we'd have dinner together, or watch a movie. Or Dad would help me with my homework while you made dinner. It brings back a lot of memories. It's just hard sometimes."

"Grace I'm sorry I didn't realize how difficult having him here would be." Alicia felt horrible that Will's presence seemed to be a reminder to Grace of what her parent's used to have.

"No Mom it's not. That's not what I meant. I like having Will here. It's just that if he's not going to be here anymore after we got used to having him here like Dad, it just makes me a little sad. I guess I still don't understand your relationship.

Alicia smiled she wasn't sure she did either even after she and Will had briefly discussed there relationship before things got crazy again three days earlier. "Well Grace how would you feel if Will and i gave a relationship a try?"

A grin crossed Grace's features. "I think that would be good. He makes you happy-and I have an AP Government paper I could use some help on next week. I wanted to run some of my ideas past hm. He's really smart"

Alicia laughed again. "Yes he is. You can talk to him when he comes for dinner in an hour."

"Okay!" Grace stood to go back to her room.

"Go tell Zach to come to come help you set the table. I'll clear my work things out of here."

Grace went to get Zach and Alicia began clearing the files she had spread across the table. She chuckled under her breath again at Grace's comment. But soon the anxiety she'd felt came back. Things had gotten better between she Will over the past weeks, but working side by side again had her slightly nervous. There had been no word after the feds had been to the office a few days earlier. And from what she'd gathered Will had taken on more cases than they had the man power to handle. His decision to only hire one associate was coming back to bite him a bit. She put these thoughts aside as she finished preparing dinner.

An hour later he'd arrived right on time. He walked into the kitchen with a grocery sack in hand. "What's that?" Alicia asked removing the vegetables from the oven where she'd put them to keep warm.

"A surprise!" he said setting the bag on the counter. She smiled moving close to him so the kids wouldn't hear her response.

"Like the other night!" She said with raised eyebrows. He smiled and took the baking dish from her moving to the dining room and placing it on the table. "Not exactly. It will be close to as much fun, but this surprise is for Zach and Grace, and I don't think you'll approve." She placed her hands to her hips as Grace and Zach entered the room

"Hey Will" Grace said before sitting down.

"Kids, Will has a surprise for you. Why don't you ask him what it is." She said smiling, as she moved to the seat next to Grace. Will chuckled as he sat down next to Zach across from Alicia. Both of the teenagers turned their attention to Will.

"Not until after dinner!" He said.

As Will and the kids talked Alicia thought back to three nights previous.

 _If they were really going to celebrate and try to have a structured concrete relationship she decided why not start now. She didn't know what the night would bring. After Zach had called and said they were staying with Peter for the night the realm of possibilities for them to "celebrate" had suddenly grown larger. She'd been feeling well the entire day, A welcomed respite from the past few months._

 _She made a nice meal for them, and had added some candles to the table where she'd placed some of her better china. The china she only took out for holidays and special occasions. She kept the jeans for her attire, but had replaced the sweater with a low cut red silk blouse._

 _When she opened the door to him she knew immediately he'd gone home and showered before coming over. He had a fresh shirt on rolled up at the sleeves to his elbows and top buttons undone. One of her favorite looks on him. He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips before heading to the kitchen giving her a brief whiff of the clean scent of his soap mixed with his cologne, A scent that belonged only to him. It was something that awakened all of her senses and caused her to tingle all over. Clearly their brief episode on the couch earlier was still having its effects on her. She quickly regained her composure and joined him in the kitchen._

 _"You went home and showered?"_

 _"Yes, I went for a run after I left the office." He said placing the bags he had on the counter._

" _Any more word from the feds?" She asked_

" _No"_

 _"What's all this? I told you I was cooking tonight." She went to reach inside the two bags, but he grabbed her hand before she could open them. He then pulled a bottle of her favorite wine from one bag holding it up so she could read the label. She took it from him and smiled._

 _"I figure one glass can't hurt right?"_

 _"Even if it could I don't think I care tonight!"_

 _He chuckled under his breath. "It smells good." He moved over to her placing his hands around her waist._

 _"What's in the other bag?" She said eyeing the other sack on the counter._

 _"A surprise!" He said moving in a little closer. A sly grin crossed her lips as she tried to reach around him to the other bag. He grabbed her hand just before she reached it. "Not now. You have to be patient!" She turned her lips to a slight pout and looked up at him. "That is not going to work!" he said taking her hand and leading her to the dining room._

 _After they ate she moved to the sofa while he cleaned up the dishes. After he had finished he came and sat next to her._

 _"That was a good meal."_

 _"I'm glad you liked it." She leant back resting on his shoulder. "I like this, sitting here in the quiet with you."_

 _He reached his arm around her resting it gently on her stomach. "Me too."_

 _"So when do I get this surprise?" She said looking up at him._

 _"In awhile." She turned and lay down with her head in his lap so she could better look up at him._

 _"What are we going to do to pass the time!" There eyes focused on each other. He slowly leaned down and kissed her. She turned trying to get a better angle, but he pulled away._

 _"I have a better idea. Let's go for a walk." She scrunched up her nose and looked at him like he was crazy._

 _"Go for a walk?"_

 _"Yes! It will be fun!"_

 _She sat up and continued to question his thoughts on this one. "Will it's nearly nine o'clock and the middle of March. It's probably freezing outside right now."_

 _He stood up and took her hands pulling her to a standing position. "It's a warm night, and it will make the surprise more fun." She smiled and shook her head giving into his request._

 _"Okay, I could probably use the fresh air anyway."_

 _They slipped on their coats and headed out. They walked for awhile eventually coming to a small park. They sat on a bench under a lamppost across from a playground. "You were right this was a good idea." She said settling in next to him. "Although, I'm not so sure about your warm weather forecast." She said rubbing her hands together to keep them warm._

 _He smiled and put his arm around her. "It was warmer a few hours ago."_

 _There was a full moon and the skies were clear which made it lighter out than usual. Will scanned the playground then had an idea. "Did you like to swing when you were younger?"_

 _"Yes"_

 _He stood and held out his hand for her. "Come on." She didn't move just stared up at him._

 _"We just sat down. You want to go already?"_

 _He leaned over and took her hand. "Come swing with me."_

 _She let out a slight laugh. "We are too old to swing. And we aren't even supposed to be in the park after dark. What if a cop shows up?"_

 _"You worry too much." He pulled her up and began to walk. She reluctantly followed. Once he convinced her to sit and swing she decided it was kind of fun even if she did feel too old. She loved this side of him that showed its face every so often. He really was a big kid at heart. That was one of the things she loved about him, his ability to just let go and enjoy the moment._

 _After awhile he challenged her to see who could swing the highest first. He was already ahead of her when he made the proposition. The competitive side in both came out as each tried to climb higher than the other. It all ended with both laughing so hard they were nearly brought to tears. They bantered back and forth hand in hand the entire time walk home debating who had won._

 _Soon they found themselves back in the kitchen. Alicia sat on the counter next to the stove watching Will make her surprise, his famous hot cocoa. "I get to taste test right?" she said_

 _"This is perfection. It doesn't need to be taste tested." He said continuing to stir the chocolaty mixture. She turned her lips into a pout once more causing him to laugh._

 _"Please just one little taste." she said holding out a small wooden spoon. At that point he gave in. He took the spoon from her dipping it into the saucepan. Then he pulled it back slowly as to not spill its contents. He blew it a bit to cool it down then moved it to her open mouth. He waited expectantly for a reaction. "Needs more chocolate!" She protested just to get a reaction._

 _"No" he feigned disapproval. Then dipped the spoon in again taking a sip for himself. "Its perfect just like I said it would be!"_

 _Then she got that look in her eye. The one she knew made him weak in the knees and could get him to do what ever she wanted. She reached for the bar of authentic Swiss dark chocolate that lay half gone on the counter and broke off a piece. She slid of the counter piece in hand and put it to his lips moving her body just inches from his._

 _"It needs more chocolate." She insisted pressing her body even closer to his. He opened his mouth and took a bite then took it from her. He turned her body pressing her up against the counter._

 _"No" He held her gaze as he moved the piece back to her lips causing her to take a bite. She took it from him again and held it over the saucepan. Their eyes still locked on each other he reached over her hand and turned the stove off. The chocolate had begun to melt in her fingers as he took it from her again and set it on a paper towel. They didn't say a word caught up in each other's eyes as he moved away and filled the two mugs. She reached over grabbing the can of whipped cream and held it out for him. He shook the can placing some in each mug. She again moved close to him bringing her chocolate covered finger to his lips spreading a thin layer of melted chocolate across them._

 _"I wanted more chocolate." She whispered licking the remnants from her fingers. He shook his head back and forth then leaned in pressing his chocolate stained lips to hers. She managed to remove the chocolate from his lips with her tongue. After which he lunged his tongue into her mouth. Five minutes later they were back on the sofa just like they'd been earlier in the day. This time however he had begun to undo the buttons on her blouse. A few minutes later she pulled back and looked at him._

 _"What?" he whispered bringing his hand to her cheek._

 _"Will we can't..."_

 _He ran his thumb across her cheek. "I know. Alicia, but I need to feel close to you. I know we can't but..."_

 _She let the words sink in. Suddenly the room seemed to close in on her. She began to feel the same way she did every night after he left the great sense of loss and no where to go to get away from it. One thing she'd needed for two weeks was to not feel so empty and so alone in dealing with her feelings over the loss of the baby. She needed to feel safe and close to him too. All she'd wanted, but had been afraid to ask, was for him to hold her and let her talk about how this had affected her. How it had affected them. She'd hoped he'd wanted the same. But part of why she hadn't asked was that he had seemed so strong. It seemed to her that he had gotten over it. Which was fair, he hadn't been dealing with it for weeks. He'd only known for less than twenty four hours before it was gone. Not really enough time to get to attached she'd decided. But the way he said those words "I need to feel close to you." made her wonder how he really felt._

 _He had a confused look on his face as she lifted herself up off of him moving into a seated position. He was concerned and sat up putting his arm round her. "Alicia what's wrong?"_

 _She was unable to hold in the few tears that fled her eyes. "I'm sorry." She said through her tears._

 _"Sorry for what?" This quick turn of emotion had really caught him off guard._

 _"For being such an emotional wreck." He pulled her in so her head rested on his shoulder._

 _'You're not. It's just the hormones and the medication. One of these days your body will get back to normal, and the thyroid medication will be right and you'll be good as new." He took her hand into his with the one that wasn't around her shoulder._

 _"I want to feel close to you too. It's been so hard dealing with all of this. You've been wonderful. I don't want you to feel guilty. But sometimes when you leave at night everything gets to be to overwhelming and I can barely breathe. I didn't know this would be so hard." She turned and looked at him. She could not read his expression._

 _He looked away briefly which caused her even more anxiety. "I'm sorry I know you're probably over this but..." He turned back to her_

 _"You should have told me how you were feeling. I would have stayed. I could have held you all night if you needed."_

 _"I know, but I didn't want to be a burden."_

 _He smiled and placed his hand under her chin. "You are not a burden." She tried to smile._

 _" I have an idea." He continued._

 _She smiled. "Please tell me we aren't going for another walk. It's too cold."_

 _He laughed under his breath. "No something better. Something that may help ease the physical and emotional needs for both of us."_

 _"Okay I'm listening."_

 _"Let's take bubble bath together." He waited for a response. It took a little longer than he expected for her to process the request. He was worried she was going to say no. But then she leaned in and kissed him again. And things were back to where they had been just five minutes earlier._

 _"That is the best idea you've had all night!" she said._

 _Soon after, she was in the bathroom running the water, and he was in the kitchen re-warming their cocoa. She pulled her hair up into a bun and climbed in. The warm water felt good all over. A few minutes later he joined her placing their two mugs on the edge of the tub, and climbing in behind her. She rested her body against his as he wrapped his arms around her._

 _"Nice job on the bubbles!" he said as she looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed her. Soon his hands were traveling all over her body. She turned pressing her body to his. The kiss became more intense as she ran her hands along his body. He'd been right this was exactly what both needed._

 _Awhile later they were drinking their hot cocoa. The bubbles had begun to dissipate. "How long until we can actually have sex?" He asked taking another sip of his drink. "Not that I haven't enjoyed the past thirty minutes."_

 _She let a slight laugh escape. "Ah yes. Sex, a great foundation to build our new relationship on! They say three to six weeks after surgery. It just depends on how quickly I heal._

 _"Guess I better plan our date between now and then."_

 _"What makes you think I'll sleep with you after our first date?"_

 _It was him that chuckled this time. "I didn't mean to imply anything. I'm just planning ahead!"_

 _"Uh huh" she mumbled placing her mug to her lips again. She knew exactly what he meant to imply, and she'd be a fool if she tried to deny that she didn't feel the same way. She knew full well how the night of their first "official" date would end unless things fell completely apart between now and then._

 _He got out of the tub first wrapping a towel around his waist and moving to the bedroom to put some clothes back on. She followed shortly after wrapped in a towel. He had his boxers and undershirt on and was leaning against the headboard when she dropped the towel from her wet body. He admired her from behind as she pulled on a black pair of bikini underwear. She turned to face him as she moved to get a t-shirt out of the closet._

 _He froze when she turned around as a cold sweat broke out all over his body. She didn't notice his reaction in seeing the place on her abdomen that was still red with stitches and slightly swollen. She pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and climbed into the bed. His eyes never left the wound site until it had been covered with her shirt. She'd been talking the whole time, but he hadn't heard a word she'd said._

 _"Will" She suddenly realized he wasn't listening. He looked distant. But the mention of his name brought his attention back to her._

 _"Yeah what?" He said looking back up at her._

 _"Never mind!" she smiled. "Clearly I'm not the only tired one."_

 _"Sorry" He said "I think you're right. I am feeling pretty tired. Did you want me to stay tonight?" He said reaching his hand for hers._

 _"I would really like that" she said as she began to move closer to him._

 _"Then I will" She moved in next to him as he placed his arm around her pulling her in closer. He reached across her turning out the lamp then they settled down into the pillows. "Haws this?" he asked._

 _"Good, really good." For the first night in weeks she felt at peace as she rested her head on his chest. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Thanks for celebrating with me tonight." she said as she closed her eyes._

 _"Your welcome" He whispered as he ran his hand over her back. He lay awake awhile longer as his nerves settled unable to get the image from a few minutes before out of his mind.  
_  
"Mom" Alicia was brought out of her thoughts once again by Zach this time.

"Yes what?" She turned her attention to Zach.

"Are you okay?"

"Am I..." she was confused. Will had a slightly concerned look on his face. She must have really been lost in thought.

"Don't worry you guys. She's been doing that all day. I think she's really nervous about going to work tomorrow even though she won't admit it." Grace said as she stood to help clear the dishes.

"I'm not nervous." Alicia denied. "I'm fine Zach. Just thinking." she briefly glanced to Will who still looked concerned then. She looked away and stood. Will stood gathering his plate his eyes watching he the entire time. He moved over to her close enough that the kids wouldn't hear him.

"Are you really okay?" She glanced quickly to the kitchen seeing Zach and Grace at a distance she turned back to him with raised eyebrows and whispered. "Yes. I was thinking about the other night!" He chuckled under his breath squeezed her arm and proceeded to the kitchen.

After dinner had been cleared and put away Will stood next to the counter grocery sack in hand as the other three looked expectantly at him. "Now listen I used to do this with my sisters in the middle of winter. Your Mom may not think this is such a good idea, but we are three against one." He looked over to her. She had her arms folded across her chest and shook her head.

"How do you know I won't approve?"

He smiled and pulled out a bag of marshmallows followed by some metal skewers. Next he pulled out a box of graham crackers followed by some chocolate bars.

Grace and Zach looked from Will to each other, and then Zach spoke. "How are we going to make S'mores in the apartment? We don't have a fire to cook them on."

Will definitely had everyone's attention. "That's the part your mom may have a problem with, the fire!" He eyed her as he moved to the gas stove and turned the burner on.

Alicia quickly caught on. "Are you serous? Will you can't roast marshmallows over an open stove top flame." Zach and Grace were quickly to their feet skewers in hand right next to Will before she could protest further.

He chuckled as he moved over to her and squeezed her arms. "Yes you can! We did it all the time when I was a teen. With parental supervision of course!"

"Come on Mom it will be fun!" Grace insisted as she placed three marshmallows onto her skewer.

Alicia smiled and took the skewer Zach held out for her. "Okay" The next hour was spent in laughter as they roasted the marshmallows competing to see who could roast the perfect one. They filled up on the S'mores until their stomachs hurt. The kitchen was a mess by the time they had finished. Alicia was told in no uncertain terms to sit and rest while the other three cleaned up.

She sat on the bar stool once again delighted at how well the three got along. Will had brought some much needed stress release for all of them.

By the time they finished cleaning up it was getting late. "I have some homework to finish up, and then I'm going to bed." Grace said as she moved to give Alicia a hug.

"Okay, see you in the morning. I love you." Alicia said.

"I should finish up my homework too." Zach said moving over and hugging Alicia. "Thanks for the fun Will." Zach said. The two teenagers turned to leave the room.

"Zach, Grace I have something to ask you." Will said moving over next to Alicia placing his hand on her shoulder in a tight clutch. She turned and looked at him puzzled. All the sudden he was acting nervous, but she didn't think the kids had caught onto the fact.

Grace and Zach both turned back towards them. "Sure what?" Zach said putting his hands in his pockets. Will grew even more nervous as all three pairs of eyes were on him.

"I was wondering how you'd feel if I took your Mom out."

The two looked at each other then back at him. Silence filled the air for a few moments. Alicia could feel her cheeks start to flush as she suppressed a laugh under her breath. This was a rare moment to find Will Gardner so unnerved to the point that she knew fully well he was using her shoulder for support.

"On a date I mean." he continued. Again Grace and Zach turned to each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"Sure!" Zach said. Grace smiled. "Okay with me!"

His grip on Alicia's shoulder lessened. "Okay thanks"

Zach and Grace turned around and went to their rooms. Alicia couldn't suppress the need to laugh any longer as she turned and looked up at him. He smiled and shook his head. "You didn't have to ask them." She said as he let out a sigh of relief.

"I did." He ran his hands through his hair and moved in front of her. "If we are going to do this right we can't go behind their backs. I want this relationship to be based on honesty. If they don't approve chances of moving things forward are slim. I want them to know my intentions for their mother." He put his arms around her. "No sneaking around this time."

"You've put a lot of thought into this haven't you?" A smile crossed her lips. It meant the world to her knowing that he realized what an important part of her life they were, and was willing to consider their feelings when it came to their relationship.

"Yes, I guess I have." They stared into each others eyes for a few moments then he pulled away. "I should get going. We should both get good nights sleep." He said although, he had no intention in going home. He had taken on a huge case earlier in the week that he hadn't discussed with her yet. And his inability to sleep had continued.

"Yes we should."

He gathered his things and she walked him to the door. He placed his fingers under her chin leaning over to kiss her. She smiled as he pulled away.

"I'll see you tomorrow-In the office!" he said opening the door to leave. She continued to smile even though the anxiety was creeping back.

"See you tomorrow!" She leaned against the doorjamb and watched him as he made his way to the elevator. He turned and smiled at her one last time before getting on. She closed the door and leaned against it letting out a sigh. _It will be fine. There isn't anything to worry about._ She hoped as she walked around the apartment turning out the lights and then heading to bed.


	14. The Beginning of Reality

**A/N; Thanks again for the reviews and follows. As a disclaimer the case presented in this chapter is completely fictional, as is the drug process presented here for approval with the FDA in the United States.**

 **The Beginning of Reality**

 _Grieving was a process, Alicia knew this. Anyone who'd had been exposed to psychology at some point along he way was familiar with the five stages of grieving. What Alicia wasn't expecting was going through a grief process herself after losing something that she'd only known existed for a few days, maybe a week. Something she never felt kicks or move within her. Something she would never give a name to, or hold in her arms. Something that was barely larger than a grape tomato when it was gone._

 _For nearly five days she'd felt better. She hadn't had any bouts of uncontrollable tears. She didn't feel depressed the way she had the first week. She probably had isolated herself from most of the outside world, but it hadn't been a conscious decision. Sure she hadn't returned any unnecessary calls, and she hadn't spoken to anyone except for the kids and Will in a week. But she hadn't needed too. It wasn't until she stepped into the shower after work on her first day back that she realized she probably was grieving._

When she woke Monday morning and got dressed for work she felt good. The dark cloud that had seemed to loom over the apartment for weeks had dissipated. She was excited to go back to work, get her head into something that was stimulating again. She felt like things were looking up. She could move on, and get back to some sort of normalcy, if such a thing had ever existed in the past five months.

Stepping of the elevator at work she headed towards to her office greeting the receptionist and the few others who welcomed her back. She paused briefly glancing at the large plaque on the wall that held the firms name Gardner & Cavanaugh. This only helped improve her mood. _My firm-our firm._ She thought to herself as she continued to her office stopping to greet her assistant and Will's.

She turned to enter her office but she stopped just as she reached for the door knob. Something was different and it had caught her eye. She paused thinking she must have seen it wrong and shook her head as she turned back around and walked over to Will's office. No, she had seen it right. She would have noticed it sooner, but the curtains over the window that faced the main hall were closed. His office was-a mess. A neat mess she had to give him credit for, but still a mess. Everything seemed out of place.

"He isn't in yet." Jenny his assistant said noticing her stare into his office.

Alicia turned and smiled. "Okay" She peered in to get a better look not believing he'd let things pile up like he had. Every surface was covered with papers, and stacks of files. There was a stack of books on his desk. Pens and note pads everywhere. The small table that sat in front of his couch was covered with the same, as was his leather chair. A blanket lay folded at one end of the sofa a few ties lay across it. Three suit coats hung on the coat rack in the corner, another draped across the chair at his desk. There were several presumably empty styrofoam coffee cups she spotted in inconspicuous places all over the office. The scene was unsettling only due to the fact that it was so unlike him. She turned back to Jenny.

"Please tell me he hasn't been meeting with clients in there!"

Jenny hesitated a bit but smiled. "No, he hasn't let anyone in there since..." She paused for a brief moment. "Since you've been out."

Jenny's hesitancy wasn't unnoticed and certainly didn't ease the unsettled feeling she had. But she tried to brush it off. Will had spent a fair amount of time with her over the past two weeks. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, that it was a lack of time that had caused this scene.

"Okay good." Alicia smiled and went back to her office. As she entered she breathed it in temporarily forgetting the small pit that had formed in her stomach. She'd always liked this office that had belonged to Diane and reveled in the fact that it was now hers. She set her purse down then removed the small card that was attached to a large floral arrangement that sat on her desk. She smiled assuming it was from Will. The card read.

 _Hope you're feeling better!  
A little something for your first day back.  
Let's do lunch soon! -Diane  
_  
She smiled placing the card back into the small envelope then leant in taking in the fresh fragrant smell of the flowers. She moved it to the table that sat behind her desk and made a mental note to call Diane and set up lunch

That was the end of the so far quiet morning she'd had. She hadn't been seated for more than five minutes before the phone started ringing and employees began demanding her time.

An hour later she looked up from the small pile of work that had found its way to her desk and noticed Will in the conference room. A small group of attorneys sat around the table with him. A few minutes later Julius walked into her office and sat down across from her.

"Welcome back Alicia!" He said warmly. She'd always liked Julius, and he hadn't gone on the defensive when Will had passed him up to move her into Diane's position.

"Thanks Julius! How is the head of litigation these days?"

"Buried in work." He said seriously.

She laughed under her breath. "When are litigators not buried in work?"

"You have got to do something about Will."

Her smile disappeared. "What do you mean?"

"Will has taken on more cases in the past two weeks without consulting any of us, than we can handle in six months. He's welcome to agree to take on as many cases as he likes for his people. But he's crossed the line agreeing to take cases for the whole firm."

"Have you talked to him about it?" She said in Will's defense.

"Yes, I managed to pull him away from this new case for all of two minutes. He said we needed all the work we could get right now. Is there something financial going on I should know about?"

Julius had just confirmed her suspicions from the previous few days. Will had taken on more work than they could handle. Will had told her about a few new cases, but he'd failed to mention just how many. He'd also failed to mention that he'd agreed on cases for other departments and hadn't consulted the department heads in making the decision.

"No, there isn't." She said.

"Well I'm dropping some of them in that case unless we're planning on hiring a handful of new associates. If not, Will is going to work everyone here into the ground. I already have two associates threatening to quit."

Alicia didn't want to take sides until she'd talked with Will and the department heads. "Julius lets have a meeting this afternoon. You and the other department heads with Will and I. We can decide which cases to drop and which ones to keep."

"Fine" He sighed and stood to leave.

"Out of curiosity just how many new cases has he-have we taken on?" She said trying to be diplomatic.

"Too many" He turned and left her office.

After he left she glanced over to Will's office. This could partially explain the files all over his office. But she couldn't figure out why he would take on so much extra work. They didn't need it. It hadn't occurred to her that his reasons may not be work related at all.

A few hours later Will entered her office and sat down. "Hey welcome back!" He said cheerfully. "Sorry I didn't make it over here sooner."

She looked up and smiled. "Thanks! It's good to be back."

"You're not working to hard are you?" He asked

"No, I'm good."

"Good because I wouldn't want you to overdue it on your first day."

"I'll probably leave around four. I am feeling a headache coming on."

"You probably just to need to eat. Come on let's get lunch."

"Sure, but can we discuss a few things first?" She sat back in her chair. "You need to catch me up on a few things."

"Okay, but let's do it over lunch. I only have an hour before I have to get back to this class action suit I'm on." He stood and waited for her to follow. She briefly thought of insisting they stay there but realized she wouldn't get anywhere if she didn't go with him. She stood pulling her coat on, and grabbed her purse.

"Okay I probably do need to eat."

He had paused and was looking at her. She looked back and raised her eyebrows. "What?" she said.

He smiled due to the fact that he'd been caught. "You look good today! That's all!"

She blushed a bit. "Thanks! I feel good today!" Then she followed him out of her office pausing briefly as they walked past his office. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

She turned pointing to his office. "Did the feds do that to your office, or are you doing some spring cleaning?" She smiled not wanting him to be embarrassed. He paused and looked into his own office. It seemed he was just now realizing its current condition. He chuckled under his breath.

"The feds added to it. I've been to busy to get all the files back in place. Believe it or not I do have a system in there!"

She turned to face him. "You do realize that Jenny is here to help with some of that right!" She glanced over to Jenny who smiled. He smiled shaking his head and reached for her arm pulling her in the direction of the elevator.

"Yes, I do realize that! Now come on I've been waiting for two weeks to take you to lunch."

They walked in the unusually warm late March weather to one of their favorite cafe's not to far from the office. It was nice to be out in the fresh air. They talked casually keeping the topics of conversation light. He did most of the talking. She listened intently, but there was a whole list of things she wanted to discuss with him. Some she knew may cause conflict and she wasn't sure she was ready to burst the happy bubble they seemed to have created over the past few days.

Just a short few minutes from their destination however things started to spin upside down again. She wasn't sure if it was just her keen observation, or if more and more women seemed to be pregnant these days. She could have sworn they passed by five women who looked as if they could give birth at any moment. And that was just in the short ten minute walk they had taken.

Somewhat unconsciously seeing these women caused the thin strand that had seemed to hold her emotions together over the past few days to begin to unravel again. Will was close enough that she instinctively reached for his hand as he continued to talk squeezing it tighter each time they passed one of the pregnant women. There was stability in holding onto him.

He was somewhat surprised at her gesture. He looked at her and then to their entwined hands in search of some sort of acknowledgement of the gesture. But he received none. So he just smiled at the thought that she was willing to hold his hand in public and continued on.

Once seated and served, Alicia got right to business.

"Julius came to my office this morning. He's feeling a bit overworked since you added a few cases to litigation the past few weeks."

"Overworked?" He questioned with raised eyebrows. "It's a lawyer's life to be overworked sometimes."

"Trust me I know Will, but he said you haven't been consulting he or anyone else on new clients." She sat back in her chair and folded her arms. He clearly wasn't taking this seriously and it irritated her more than it should have.

"Look if new clients walk through the door, and Julius, or Ed, or whoever isn't available and I am, I'm certainly not going to say no to good cases."

"I understand that. But would it hurt to tentatively agree to take a case and tell the client you need to consult with the head litigator, or bankruptcy attorney first?"

"I'm a name partner. How would it look to new clients if I'm not able to make the decision?"

"It looks smart Will. It looks like the firm works together as a team. People would respect the fact that you're not trying to be a one man show."

"I just don't see it that way. Someone needs to be able to make decisions on the spot."

Emotions were running high in both, but they managed to keep their tone low.

"So does that mean if I'm in court or out of the office you plan on making decisions for me without discussing it first?" She placed her arms on the table and leaned in a bit.

"No, Alicia no, you're getting worked up over something that doesn't exit. You and I are the final say on cases. I wouldn't go behind your back or agree to cases for you without discussing it with you first."

"How is that different from doing it with other people in the firm? You have to respect the authority we give to others within the firm."

He paused and set his fork down. "I don't completely agree, but maybe I did let things get a little out of control while you out. These are good cases Alicia, cases that can make us money. I wouldn't have agreed to take them if they weren't."

She was glad he admitted to being partially at fault. It lowered her temperature just a bit. "I've called a meeting this afternoon with some of the equity partners and department heads to discuss case loads."

He took another bite of his sandwich then answered. "I can't make it. I've got witness prep all afternoon."

She was a little annoyed again but didn't want to argue. "Okay, then you have to be willing to let me make the decision on which cases we drop and which ones we keep."

He sighed. He knew she was right even if he didn't like it. "Fine, but you have to agree to hold onto the cases that we can win and make us the most money. Pull some people from mergers and acquisitions to help for a few weeks. They aren't slammed right now and their lawyers are thorough. They could help with tax and family law contracts."

She was impressed he actually knew they had available attorneys. Maybe he'd been paying more attention during her absence than she'd given him credit for. "Okay good we agree."

"Now it's my turn." He said wiping his mouth and taking a sip of his drink.

"Sure go ahead." She said even though she had a long list of things still to discuss.

"I need to go to L.A. next week."

She set the fork that was nearly to her mouth down on the table. She knew they had to talk about the L.A. office. It had been a sore source of contention. But she wasn't sure she had the energy to get into it with him right now. .

"Why? David will be out there in three weeks. Are you second guessing the decision to send him?"

"Am I?" He hadn't been thinking about the L.A. office. "No. This has nothing to do with the L.A. office, although it will be nice to have a place to work."

"What did you do, take a case out there?" She says with a bit more bitterness than she'd meant.

He shook his head and got quite serious. Not what she was expecting. "No. I need to depose some witnesses for this case I'm on." She held his gaze as he continued. "I picked this case up two weeks ago."

"Two weeks ago, and you're telling me now? What is this big case anyway?"

"When you were in surgery I overheard some patients talking with their physician. They had just been discharged. The wife had miscarried."

All of a sudden her food didn't seem that appetizing any more.

"They were asking questions about a drug the doctor had prescribed to her. They seemed pretty upset. I was curious so after the doctor left and they were headed out, I approached them and asked about the situation."

He had her full attention now. It wasn't like him to poke his nose into other's private business.

"Turns out this doctor and two others, one here, one in L.A. developed a new drug to help with morning sickness. It had been deemed a miracle drug. It seemed to completely cure morning sickness. Women who took the drug couldn't believe it. They practically worshipped the doctors."

She silently wished she'd been given such a drug as the pit in her stomach deepened. "Why do I have a feeling this story doesn't have a happy ending?"

A thin smile crossed his lips to acknowledge her correctness as he shook his head. If she hadn't been looking right into his eyes at that moment she would have missed the brief look of sorrow that almost changed the color of his eyes. Seeing it made her sad, and she didn't even know what the look meant as he continued.

"Several of the women who took the drug miscarried. Almost all around fifteen weeks."

For a few moments the room seemed to spin. She felt sick every time the word miscarriage escaped his mouth, and he had no idea the effect it was having on her.

"Most of the miscarriages occurred in women with high risk pregnancies, and they were dismissed as the result of that or other complications. But now there have been cases popping up in perfectly healthy pregnancies. Like the woman I met at the hospital." He paused. She assumed waiting for some sort of response. She managed to pull her inner emotions together long enough to respond.

"Will, the drug must have been approved by the FDA. How can these women so sure the," She didn't even know if she could say it. It took a great amount of energy and self control to get it out.

"Miscarriages-were caused by the drug? It's going to be difficult to prove. There would have been extensive studies done before the drug would have been approved for patients."

A sly grin crossed his lips. "Ah, exactly. The drug hadn't been approved when the doctors started prescribing it to patients. They started handing it out a month before approval was to come through."

"You're kidding?"

"No"

"But the drug is approved now?"

"No. A week before approval new test results came back showing negative side effects. However the doctors have tried to cover up the fact that they prescribed the drug without approval because the FDA is likely to approve it in two weeks."

"How long ago did they prescribe the drug?"

"Five to six months ago."

"So they were illegally prescribing a drug that likely terminated how many pregnancies?"

"Well assuming the evidence we have and plan to get is enough, about thirty cases that we're aware of."

"Did all of the women miscarry?"

"No, a quarter of the known patients are still pregnant."

He continued to go over the case with her for a few more minutes. One thing was for sure. She wanted no part in this. To have to prep and depose women who had gone through losing a baby in a similar manner she had would be too much. She was surprised he'd even taken it on. Maybe this loss really had never affected him.

She changed the subject to something more pleasant as they finished up lunch. By the time they got back to the office she was exhausted and her head was throbbing.

After an intense meeting she went and sat on her sofa and closed her eyes. It was difficult to tell whether her medication was still off, or if her conversation with Will earlier was the cause of her current physical condition. A few minutes later Will entered her office and sat down next to her.

"You should go home." He said

"Yeah" was all she said.

They sat in silence for a few minutes both tired. Her thoughts turned back to his case, and soon as though with the flip of a coin her emotions turned back to her loss. She wasn't naive, after the rush of sadness and pain that had come so easily over lunch she knew she needed to talk to him about this. She needed him to listen and understand how she felt, and she wanted to know how he could get past it so easily. For a brief moment as they sat in silence each one drowning in their own thoughts she thought of bringing it up.

"Will"

"Hmm"

But she decided work was neither the time nor the place to discuss such a sensitive topic. So she went a different direction.

"Why did you take this case?"

He didn't respond for a few moments. "It's a good case. It's going to get national attention. We are the first firm in on this, which means we'll get a large chunk of the settlement. Why?"

She turned and looked at him his dark brown eyes already on her. It was becoming suffocating to think about these things. She needed to leave before she burst into tears in his arms at the office.

"Just curious. I am going to go home. Today has taken more out of me than I'd planned on." She stood and moved over to her desk. He sensed something else was wrong.

"Alicia, are you okay?" He went and stood next to her. She smiled up at him. "Yes. I'm just tired. Listen you don't need to come over tonight. I'll probably just sleep. I won't be much company."

He knew something was wrong but he didn't want to push her, especially at work. It was always these moments of unspoken looks and thoughts they read so well in each other that got them into trouble because they were so reluctant to speak out loud. Sometimes she resented the fact that he could read her so well. He could sense her attempt to put her self at a distance. This need they had to pull away from each other, yet the need to be near and have the other's support was going to kill them. In ways they were emotionally pulling away from each for the same reason and they didn't even know it.

He moved and put his hands on her arms in a last attempt to get her to open up, something that before last week he would not have done at work. But he was done hiding his affection for her. She didn't pull away. She needed to feel the warmth of his hands on her. He leaned over and kissed her forehead causing her to be a little surprised but didn't mind.

"See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." She responded. He let go and left her office heading back to the conference room to continue his depositions.

She couldn't get home quick enough. She wanted to hide from everyone. Get away from everything in the outside world that was a reminder of the pain she was feeling. She felt queasy and her heart felt like it was going to jump right out of her as she entered the quiet apartment and closed the bedroom door. She moved to the bathroom turning the shower on. Once inside the small space with the warm water flooding her body she sank to the floor pressing her body against the cold tile. Pulling her knees to her chest she put her head down resting it on her folded arms closing her eyes so she couldn't see the scar that was still healing on her stomach and began to sob. She stayed that way for a long time until she had no more tears.

Once she'd wiped the last tears with her wet hand in a split second she moved from one stage of grief to another. Now she was angry. Very angry and very determined. A good combination for winning cases, a bad combination for anyone who tried to cross her.

She was angry at almost everyone. She was angry at the situation that had brought her to this point, the situation that had started with Peter four months earlier. She was angry at Will for taking this case. Not because it wasn't a good case, it was. But she'd have to listen to him talk about it for months to come. She was angry at herself for letting the loss of the pregnancy have such an effect on her. And angry at her own inability to carry the fetus even though she knew full well there wasn't anything she could have done about it.

As she washed her hair she was determined those were to be the last tears she was going to shed over this. Even though deep down she knew that wasn't true.

After she dressed she was exhausted, but pulled out her laptop and continued working through the case she would take to court next week. The doctor had told her to wait the full six weeks before she went back to court, but she didn't care now. The doctor couldn't stop her and neither could Will. He would be in L.A. the perfect way for her to get away with it. And even though she understood why he needed to go next week, she felt like he was abandoning her both at work, and in their personal lives.

Did she still have feelings for him? Yes. Did she still want to be held in his arms? Yes. Did she love him? -Yes. A conclusion she had come too just the previous day. But that decision hurt even more because if things did work out between them she was worried she would never be able to carry a child for him if he wanted one, and she thought that would ruin their relationship. She hoped silently that he wouldn't want one, and that she wouldn't have to fail at this again.


	15. Will

**A/N; Thank you all for the very honest and candid reviews from the previous chapter. Hopefully this chapter will shed some light on the goings on in the last chapter. I know I told a few of you that Will and Alicia would hash things out in this chapter, they will begin too, but due to length their conversation will continue in the next chapter. The quote below is a slight adaptation, only in that I changed the he's to she's, from the song Heaven Help My Heart from Chess. It happened to pop up in my playlist while I was writing and the words were quite pertinent to the chapter so I decided to share.**

 **Chapter 15-Will**

 _-One of these days, and it won't be long, she'll know more about me than she should. Nothing more to learn from the look in my eyes. Suddenly I've run out of secrets._

It was about eleven in the evening when Will got back to the office. He'd spent the evening with Alicia and the kids. His trip to L.A. had been postponed a week and he was leaving tomorrow. Alicia had said she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could before he left. Which was a sharp contrast to two weeks earlier when she'd come into the office determined and angrier at-he still wasn't sure what-then he'd ever seen her. He'd tried to talk to her and get her to tell him why she was so angry. But she could be stubborn sometimes just like he was closing him out when any topic other than work came up.

He assumed, from what he'd read, that it was probably her hormones playing tricks on her again. He did his best to be supportive. He listened when she wanted to talk. Of course she would only talk about work. Gave her space if it seemed she needed it. He brought her coffee in the mornings, and sent her silly little text messages during the day. He offered to come spend time with her each night which she refused that first week, claiming she was too tired and was just going to sleep. Her emotions had been a rollercoaster for both of them. But he loved her and he didn't care how long it took to get back on track. He was determined to make this work. He hadn't realized that by hiding his own feelings in an attempt to appear supportive for her, he'd created a barrier between them that sometimes came off as not caring and uninterested.

By the following Monday her whole demeanor had changed. Maybe it was because she was headed back to court. Something he didn't agree with due to medical reasons, but told her he wouldn't stand in her way. That week she opened up more and had lunch with him a few days. She allowed him to come over a few nights, and they had spent the weekend together working on cases and had back to back movie nights with Grace and Zach. Things seemed to be turning to the better. Work had been calm for nearly two weeks. He'd finally set a date for their "official date" which was set for this coming Saturday after he returned from L.A. He was leaving the next day, Tuesday, and would be back Saturday morning.

"You know you're going to die ten years to young if you keep this routine up." He looked up from the computer surprised to see Kalinda at such a late hour enter his office.

"What routine?" He knew full well what she meant, but tried to play it off. She raised her eyebrows and smiled there was no fooling this woman.

She moved the stack of files from the chair in front of his desk and sat down. "I also don't think Alicia is going to let you keep this office in its current condition much longer. She'll probably come in and clean it up while you're gone."

He smiled. "I changed the lock. I'm the only with a key."

"Does Alicia know you come back to the office every night after you've been with her? Or that sometimes you never leave and stay all night when you two don't have plans?"

The smile disappeared from his features and he sighed. "No"

"Will, you need to talk to someone."

"Are you offering? Or is this an intervention?" He smiled. She just rolled her eyes and stood knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere.

"No, it's your life. You do what you want. We'll try to pick up the pieces when you crash." She turned to leave.

"Kalinda"

She turned to face him. "Go home Will. Tomorrow tell Alicia you need to talk." She turned walking just past the threshold out of his office.

"Alicia and I are fine." he called after her.

"It's not Alicia or your relationship I'm worried about Will." And then she was gone. He sat back pondering her words, then pulled out the book he had buried under a few law books on his desk.

He went home at two slept for three hours packed his travel bag and went back to work. That afternoon he was deposing two of the doctors on the miscarriage case in the conference room. Alicia was in her office working. She looked up from her computer when she heard some commotion and noticed a few people in the hall staring into the conference room. She got up and went to see what was going on.

"How can you sit there and say with a straight face that this drug didn't kill over thirty babies?"

"Fetuses" the apposing attorney corrected.

Will was standing hands on the conference table leaning in towards the five people seated on the other side. Alicia stood in the doorway arms folded listening for a few more moments.

"This drug isn't safe. What were you thinking giving it to pregnant women before it had been properly tested."

"Mr. Gardner" the apposing attorney tried to cut in. "Please sit down. The yelling isn't necessary."

"Tell that to the women your client prescribed this drug to. You're clients are going to jail, and for a long time." The bantering continued for another minute before it looked like Will might reach over and punch someone. Alicia decided it was time to intervene.

"Will" she called. He didn't hear her and continued yelling.

"Will" she said a little louder as she started to walk in his direction. He still didn't acknowledge her.

"Will" She said sternly placing her hand on his arm. The motion startled him and he stopped mid sentence turning to look at her.  
She turned to everyone who sat in silence at the conference table. "I think we're done for today. Mark and Ellen will continue with the depositions tomorrow."

She turned her gaze back to him as everyone got up and left. Neither one said anything in the now empty room. Finally he turned and went back to his office. She stood there for a few minutes watching him, wondering what had gotten into him. She'd never seen him get so angry and lose his cool at a client.

She left him alone until she noticed him get up from his desk and start putting his laptop away and gathering files. His flight was in a few hours. She walked over to his office and closed the door behind her.

"Heading out?" she said.

"Yes" he said continuing to gather his things.

"You want to talk about what happened earlier?" She said moving over to stand next to him. He stopped and looked up at her.

"I haven't had much sleep the past few nights." He put his hands in his pockets and moved closer to her. "I'm tired, I got carried away." She only half believed him.

"Well maybe you can catch up on some sleep while your gone."

He smiled as she moved just inches from him. "You'll be okay while I'm gone?"

"I think I can hold down the fort for a few days!"

"We need to talk when I get back." He sighed. This caused her a brief moment of concern. 

"Okay about what?"

He paused for a moment running his hands up and down her arms. "Nothing bad. There's just something we need to discuss."

"Well there's something I want to talk to you about as well."

He smiled and would have kissed her, but they had decided to try and keep their relationship quiet a little longer at the office.

"Good. I need to go." he said.

She looked away. "Yes, you better." She pulled away and he grabbed his things.

"See you Saturday night!" He smiled. She returned the smile.

"You still need to tell me what time, and if I should dress casual, or dress up!"

He chuckled. "I'll call and let you know! Oh I forgot one thing." He pulled a key from his pocket. "Don't let anyone in here."

She took the key from him. "Does this mean I can't come in here and clean while your gone?"

He chuckled under his breath. "Exactly! That's for emergencies. I'll clean things up when I get back." He started for the door.

"Uh huh!" she laughed following him out the door locking it behind her.

The next day he called her late in the afternoon telling her he'd left a file he needed and wanted her to fax it to him. She went into his office and amazingly found the file on his desk exactly where he said it would be. He really did have a system in this disarray she thought. As she reached over his desk and grabbed the file her sleeve got caught onto another file. When she pulled her arm back towards her, the few books, and stack of files and papers on the end of his desk went flying everywhere.

She shook her head and bent over to start picking up the mess thinking she might help him out and put a few things away even though he said he'd do it when he got back. But as she started gathering the papers some of the captions on them caught her eye. She looked around and it seemed to be everywhere. It was almost like a crime scene only there was no crime just evidence, and lots of it. She stood and moved to the sofa holding some of the papers and a book. She thumbed through the papers shaking her head and holding her breath without even realizing it. Titles on articles included; _Ectopic Pregnancy Dealing with your loss. The Emotional impact of an ectopic pregnancy. Hurting and Healing after the loss of a pregnancy._ There were a few blog posts he'd printed out from online support groups for men. There was material he'd printed out from the Mayo clinic, and books with titles like; _When Hello Means Goodbye, and Healing A Grieving Heart after Miscarriage._ He'd made notes, and highlighted things in the similar manner he had when they had been in law school.

She sat there in a daze continuing to look around realizing that the table in front of the sofa contained more of the same. He'd carefully placed work material on top in case someone was to look closely.

Then something occurred to her. Jenny had told her two and a half weeks ago that he hadn't let anyone in his office while she'd been out, and the more she thought about it she hadn't seen a single person in his office other than himself since she'd returned. He'd met with clients and employees, and done all depositions in the conference room. Yesterday had been the first time she'd even been in his office since she'd returned.

Her heart felt heavy as she started connecting the dots. All along she thought he'd been the strong one. That he'd gotten over it, or it hadn't even affected him. He'd never said anything that would have led her to believe he was hurting too. For the most part he'd been attentive and supportive of her needs trying to ensure she was okay even when she'd tried to push him away. She felt guilty for never asking how he was or how it had affected him. She'd thought about it, but always in the context of her telling him how she felt, and wanting to know how he'd just moved past it so easily. She thumbed through more of the material as a few tears fell from her eyes. She couldn't believe the amount of information he had scattered all over the office.

What neither Alicia nor Kalinda knew was that when he came back to the office at night, eighty percent of what he did was not work related at all. He'd read more in the books, find more articles, or read and post on the support blogs he'd found.

A few minutes later she sighed placing the stack of paper she held on the table. Someone had to put an end to this non communicative mess they were in. She knew now it had to be her who took the first step. 

**/**

Will had just finished his first drink when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He sighed and pulled it out. If it had been anyone else he wouldn't have answered.

"Hey Alicia"

"Hi, I didn't know if you'd pick up."

"I'm done for the day. How are you?"

"I kinda miss you!"

He chuckled. "I kinda miss you too!"

"Where are you?"

"You don't want to know!"

It was her turn to chuckle. "Why is that? You're not plotting some attack on the doctor out there are you?" This caused him to laugh out loud.

"No! I'm at the hotel restaurant having a drink. But the restaurant happens to have an outdoor seating area overlooking the ocean. It's seventy degrees here and the view is pretty amazing!"

"Seventy degrees at the beginning of April? You're right I didn't want to know."

They talked about work for a few minutes then she redirected the conversation.

"What are you drinking? Something appropriate for the beach I hope!"

"No just my usual!"

"Well have a margarita for me!"

"I'll consider it!"

"So what are we going to do about me missing you?"

"Well we could talk about all the ways I'll make it up to you when I get back. But I'll have to leave the restaurant if we're going to do that!"

There was a pause he thought he'd lost their connection.

"Alicia"

He pulled the phone from his ear looking at the screen. Just then someone pulled the chair out next to him and sat down. He had to look twice to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"We'll both have to leave the restaurant if we're going to discuss that!" She said smiling at him with raised eyebrows.

"What are you doing here!" he said with a wide silly grin, still not believing she was sitting next to him.

"I told you, I kinda missed you!" She leaned over and kissed him. After they pulled apart he shook his head still smiling.

"And?"

"And-I thought it would be fun to surprise you for once. You should have seen the look on your face! I also thought it would be a good time to come see the new office."

"Well you did surprise me!" He got serious. "Now what's going on that made you fly clear out here that we couldn't discuss over the phone or wait until I got back?"

He knew her well, sometimes too well. She reached for his hand that was on the table. "We need to talk. I thought it might be better to do it without all the distractions at home."

A waitress appeared and took Alicia's drink order.

"You're not quitting on me are you? I mean at work, because that outburst two days ago was just a slip up. And..." She found it adorable him falling all over his words. She smiled and shook her head although the unforgiving lump in her throat was starting to form. To think he'd even think for a minute she'd consider leaving him at this point after all they'd gone through, and having a glimpse of what she thought he was feeling, was heartrending.

She was shaking her head. "No, I'm not quitting on you. I could never quit on you, not after..." She didn't want to cry in the restaurant. "Let's finish our drinks and go somewhere else to talk."

He was mildly concerned wondering if she'd gotten more bad news medically, or if something had happened with one of the kids.

"Okay" he said in almost a whisper. "I can't believe you flew all the way out here!" He leaned in and kissed her again. They finished their drinks and went walking hand in hand along the beach. It was late enough that most of the beach goers had gone home for the day. They almost had the beach to themselves.

Eventually she stopped and turned to face him their eyes meeting.

"Leesh what's going on?"

She bit her lip and looked away briefly the light breeze blowing her hair across her face. "I accidentally knocked some things off your desk yesterday when I went to get the file you needed." She looked back up at him brushing the strands of hair out of her face. He stood there in a trance momentarily suddenly realizing what that meant. He'd decided he was going to talk to her about it when he got home. But this took him completely off guard. He didn't know if he was ready. He turned away and sighed looking out at the rolling waves still holding her hand. She moved so she was closer to him and turned her gaze in the same direction as his.

"Will, what was your real reason for taking on this case?"

He thought this an odd question for her to begin with, but he realized his answer had a lot to do with the situation. He had to give her credit, she'd put things together well. Of course she always did. He turned towards her wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I couldn't just stand by and let what happened to us happen to anyone else." He looked down and sighed. "All those babies Alicia. They'd still be growing, developing safely inside their mothers." He pulled away from her.

"Their parents wouldn't be stuck feeling empty and hurt. They wouldn't have had to go through the physical pain like you. They wouldn't be stuck wondering every single day when the thoughts of what could have been will go away and allow them to move on."

She moved in close to him and looked right into his eyes. "We aren't talking about the case anymore-are we?" She said as a few tears sprang from her eyes.

"No" He admitted.

She reached up wrapping her arms around his neck and pulled him in. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his head into her hair. They held onto each other tighter than they had since this all began.


	16. The Talk

**The Talk**

They stood in each others arms for a few minutes the sound of the crashing waves in the background. Alicia eventually pulled back leaving her hands placed on his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me you were struggling?" She said looking more hurt than anything else.

Will sighed and pulled away from her. "Because Alicia, I…" he put his head down and his hands in his pockets then looked back up to her. "I'm the guy, the man in the scenario."

"So because you're _male_ you're not supposed to feel anything?" She shook her head not believing he was actually going to take this route. "Will that's absurd."

"No, that isn't what I mean. It was my job,"

"Your job?" She cut him off and folded her arms.

He brought his hand to his head running his fingers through his hair. This was more difficult than arguing in court he couldn't pull his thoughts together. "Just listen. I thought my _role_ " he said with emphasis. "Was to be supportive and to comfort you. To be the strong one, and be there when you needed a shoulder to cry on. To listen…" He stopped as she shook her head. He could tell he was loosing this battle.

"So all of this, everything you've done for the past five weeks was out of some sense of obligation?" They looked at each other for a few moments neither one said a word. He moved close to her placing his hands on her arms.

"No, it wasn't an obligation. That's the point. It was all real—too real. I did have feelings and I couldn't handle it. That night after your appointment I was hoping we were going to be planning a future for our child. The idea that I was going to be a father—I loved it."

"You weren't scared?" She questions.

He smiles. "I was terrified! But I couldn't tell you the last time I wanted something so badly. Of course-it posed all kinds of issues. I didn't know if you wanted it. The rumors, the headache at work it may have caused were certainly reason for concern. But I knew one thing, and that was that I did want it. I was prepared to take full responsibility for it after it was born if you wanted nothing to do with it."

She smiles and chuckles under her breath. "You would have tried to raise a child on your own?"

This causes him to smile. "Yes! How hard can it be?" They both chuckle.

"Hard" she assures him. She looks down biting her lip once again. "I did want it Will. I wouldn't have let you raise it on your own." A few tears sprang from her eyes. He moved his hand brushing them away then placed a finger under her chin lifting slightly so she'd look at him.

"I know. When you told me the news—that it wouldn't survive I was devastated and I could see you were too. I don't know what was worse. Seeing you suffer or my own feelings of emptiness. I'm so used to being able to control things, and I had no control over this. There wasn't anything tangible to miss or mourn over. I thought I must be crazy. That these emotions I was feeling were wrong. I'd barely had a chance to even process the idea of fatherhood before it was gone.

That's when I started doing all the research. It consumed me. I've hardly slept in weeks going back to the office after I spent time with you, or never leaving the office at all."

This revelation was somewhat of a concern to her. "You did what?"

"I went back to the office. It was the only time I had to find some sort of evidence that I wasn't crazy. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to be the cause of more worry or pain for you."

"So you shut me out and have run yourself ragged-to protect me." She said quietly. She was gaining a better understanding of his reasons for keeping her in the dark and she felt terrible for not trying to have this discussion with him weeks ago.

"Shut you out? No I didn't..." He pauses reflecting on his actions over the past few weeks. "I guess I did. But I didn't mean too. Is that why you were so angry a few weeks ago?" He pulled her close once again and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You thought I was shutting you out, and that I didn't care." He shakes his head. "Alicia I just didn't want to be a burden."

"It wouldn't have been a burden. It would have helped. When you told me about this case it made me sick. Things had finally seemed like they were turning around. I'd felt well for a few days. You and I seemed to be in a good place. I was working again. But discussing this case brought all of the hurt back, and it didn't seem to even bother you. I resented the fact that you could just move on, and I felt like you were abandoning or avoiding me by coming out here. Yes I was angry, very angry but it wasn't entirely your fault. You just happened to be the one who took the brunt of it."

He pulled her closer placing his hands on her back. "It would have helped me too, to talk. You know for two pretty intelligent people we aren't very smart sometimes."

"True! You and I make things more complicated than is necessary sometimes. Neither one of us is good at being open with our feelings. And it's more complicated when our relationship is in flux."

He smiles. "So this is both of our faults?"

"Yes, I take responsibility for half!"

He released his grasp on her and took her hand. The sun was beginning to set. "Come here." He pulled her a small distance and sat down in the sand. She sat next to him. Neither one looked at the other. They both stared out at the setting sun reflecting off the rolling waves.

"So you really wanted the baby?" She says.

He sighed. "Yes"

She leaned her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. "I'm getting older Alicia. Sometimes I feel like I should have done things differently. Settled down, taken life more seriously. I feel like I'm running out of time too…" He paused not daring to say what he was thinking.

"Have a family?" She said turning to look at him. He continued to stare out at the water.

"Yes"

"You know what?" She says taking his hand.

"Hmm"

"I think your right where you're supposed to be. We all could have done things differently, but we can't go back. We just have to keep moving forward. You still have plenty of time."

He sighed out of exhaustion more than anything. "How long do you think it will take to put this behind us? Not that I want to forget what we had, but..."

"I know exactly what you mean. I don't know that it's something that we will ever forget per say. But I do think it will get easier with time. It's like when someone dies. You don't forget the person but you move on. Sometimes you're reminded of that person and it may hurt for a bit, but you push past it. Let's decide now that if one of us is having a difficult time we'll talk to the other one."

"Deal" He smiled and held out his hand. She chuckled and shook his hand. 

"I'm glad you came out here." He said.

"I'm just glad to know you aren't going off the deep end!" He laughed under his breath.

"This is nice!" She said a few moments later.

"It is. We've needed to talk for a long time."

"Yes, but that's not what I mean. It's nice to be together and I'm glad we're talking, but the beach is what I meant. I could get used to this!"

"It is nice." He leaned over and kissed the top her head.

"Let's run away." She said. He laughed again.

"Run away?"

"Sure, start over. Forget the law. Move somewhere warm. I'm tired of the cold winters."

"Forget the law? How would we support ourselves?" He said playing along with her musings.

She shifted her body and laid her head down on his outstretched legs and looked up at him. "We could leave the country. Move to some quiet beach town and…Well maybe we could do all that and be the town's only lawyers."

"I thought you said we were forgetting the law!'

"Well I don't know what else we would do, and we are good at being lawyers!"

"What about Grace and Zach?"

"We'll tell them where we are, but no one else. They can even come with us if they want."

"Sounds good. Maybe I'll become a pro golfer!" He suggested. She laughed.

"You know that whole thing about being too old! It's a little late to start a pro golf career."

"Hey I could play with the seniors." He looked down into her eyes and she laughed a little.

"You aren't that old yet!"

"Fine I'll be a lawyer but I get to hit balls off the tee on the private beach in front of our house!"

"What ever you want." She took his hand and closed her eyes. They enjoyed the sound of the rushing waves for a few minutes.

"If you were to really run away where would you go?" He asks. She opens her eyes and looks up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Just for a day or two if you needed a break. If you were going to be irresponsible let's say, something you never are, where would you go?"

She pondered the question for a few minutes. "If we were in Chicago and I were to run away for a few days? New York, assuming you were going to be with me!" She held his gaze with a seductive look. "I could relive that weekend a thousand times minus the client."

"That was a good weekend!" Returning the same seductive look.

"If I wanted to hide from everyone go somewhere where there was bad cell coverage so I'd be difficult to find-I'd go to Minnesota." He laughed again and she sat up.

"They have cell coverage in Minnesota." He states.

"Yeah well I know somewhere where it's pretty sketchy."

He thinks for a minute. "Where?"

"Someplace I've been before, fairly recently in fact. But if I tell you it won't be a secret!"

"Well you'll just have to take me with you. I'd love to be someplace where I couldn't answer my phone."

"I'd think about bringing you along." She smiled and leaned over to kiss him. He smiled playfully and pulled back.

"You'd think about it?"

She chuckled and leaned towards him. He leaned back even further now nearly in a laying position on his elbows. He was going to make her work for her kiss "No kiss until you agree to take me with you!"

She turned and lay on top of him. "Okay you can come, but you have to keep it a secret!"

"I can live with that." He moved forward and pulled her in pressing his lips to hers. 

The sun had set and it was getting fairly dark. "We should head back to the hotel." He said standing taking her hand pulling her up. She now noticed how exhausted he looked. She wasn't sure if this was something she hadn't noticed it in the previous weeks. She wondered after his confession about not sleeping, or if he was just now allowing himself to show it.

"Let's eat, and then how about if I give you a back rub?"

He smiled as he took her hand and they started to walk back towards the hotel. "A back rub like you used to give me?"

"Yes!"

"Sounds good!"

Awhile later they got back to his room. "Hey where did you leave your luggage?"

"In my room." She says as she closes the door behind them.

"Why did you get your own room? You could have just shared with me."

"Well for looks from any scrutinizing eyes at work, and I wasn't sure how our conversation was going to go, so I got my own. I'll cancel the reservation for tomorrow night."

He wrapped his arms around her again. "Or you could keep it and we can have our date tomorrow night instead of Saturday. Remember it's supposed to be a real date. I have to pick you up."

"You're really serious about this date thing aren't you?"

"Very" He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She pulled away a moment later.

"Take your shirt off and go lay on the bed." She instructed him.

"Gladly!" He removed his shirt and did as he was instructed.

They continued to talk as she massaged his back. Awhile later she realized she was doing all the talking and when she asked him a question he didn't respond.

"Will" She stopped running her hands over his back and leaned over to look at his eyes. They were shut tight and his breathing had become heavy. She smiled and leaned in placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. He was definitely asleep.

She turned out the lamp on his side of the bed and pulled the blankets up over him running her hands across his toned back one more time. She climbed into bed next to him and placed her arm around him gently resting her head against his. As she drifted off to sleep she felt like they had finally come to a turning point for the better.


	17. The Date

**The Date**

Alicia had been up for a little over an hour and was now sitting on the sofa just outside the bedroom reading Will's deposition notes. She had tried to rouse him when she woke by placing soft kisses along his chest and face, but he hadn't stirred. She was a little surprised because through the years as they had woken in the same bed together, he'd usually been the one to wake first. And if he hadn't she had always been able to wake him by placing kisses on his bare skin.

She'd stayed in the bed nestled up against him for awhile pondering their conversation from the previous evening. He had looked so exhausted afterwards she was glad he was able to sleep. She hoped this was a sign he'd been able to put some of his restlessness at ease.

Sitting on the couch, she periodically looked up from her reading every few minutes to see if he'd woken up. About twenty minutes later he began to stir.

"Alicia" he called rubbing his eyes. She rose from the sofa and moved back to the bed sitting next to him.

"Good morning sleepy head!" She said placing a kiss on his cheek.

He chuckled turning his head towards her. "Good! Yesterday wasn't a dream."

"No—I'm still here!"

He rose up on his elbows "I can see that!"

"How did you sleep?" she asked.

He ran his hands over his face trying to wake up some more and sat up. "Really well, I haven't slept for more than four or five hours a night in weeks. How did you sleep?"

"Good," she stood and held her hand out for him. "I have some coffee waiting in the other room."

He took her hand as he climbed out of bed. "Good," he said. "I have depositions in an hour."

They sat on the sofa sipping their coffee. Alicia placed her hand on his leg. "I was reading over your notes."

He set his mug on the coffee table. "What do you think?"

"It's awful. I'd thought about joining you as co-counsel, but I can't. This makes me too angry."

"Hey, _angry_ is what we need." He looked at her with raised eyebrows hoping just a little that she would join him.

"As much as I enjoy a good courtroom brawl with you, I'm afraid my emotions would definitely get in the way."

He put his arm around her shoulder. "Fair enough, but let me know if you change your mind. We are really good together in court!"

"We are, aren't we?" she said smiling, taking another sip of her coffee.

He lifted his coffee mug again and smiled teasingly at her. "Yes. Why do you think I wanted you as my partner in the first place? It wasn't because we were friends, or that I happen to like you, or that I really didn't want David Lee as my partner." He sipped his coffee. "Oh, and the other reason."

She rolled her eyes. "And what would that be?"

"The fact that you had earned it, and that you are one of the best lawyers in Chicago. No, those weren't any of the reasons. I only wanted you as my partner because I knew we would kill it in court together!" They both laughed at the comment and she playfully slapped him.

"Good to know where I stand! We better get ready. _You,_ have work to do!"

/

By mid afternoon he had completed the depositions and she had finished up some work on another case. They were sitting in the office that would soon be occupied by David Lee.

"So what do you think of the office?" Will asked.

"It's-nice," she said, avoiding his gaze.

"But?" he said, fully aware of her hesitancy towards the L.A. expansion. She turned and looked at him. "Alicia, we can do this," he said guardedly, taking her hand.

She pulled her lips together and shook her head up and down. "I know. But we have to start out small. We only have the budget for the few office staff already here, and a few associates. We have to build up a clientele here before we lease more office space and hire more employees."

"I know, that's why I only leased this floor. David will keep the case load to family law until we can expand. The two floors below us are available for further expansion when the time comes."

"That's the plan, and David is on board?" 

"Yes"

"Okay then."

"So you're fine moving ahead with this? We aren't going to argue over this anymore?"

She thought for a moment before responding. "Yes, now that I know there _is_ a plan and that you haven't overextended us. But we still need to keep an eye on David. I trust his work, but I don't trust he isn't still plotting some way to take both of us down."

Will chuckled. "It's just David being David."

"No Will I'm serious. He was a little too calm and a little too friendly this week after you left. He is up to something."

He leaned over and put his hands on her arms pressing his forehead to hers. "He's not up to anything. He's on his way out the door in a week. He probably just doesn't care anymore."

She stared at him for a minute then decided to let the topic rest. "Let's go. I have some shopping to do before our date!" She smiled and stood.

"What shopping do you need to do?" He stood and took her hand as they began to walk out of the office.

"I didn't bring any date night clothes with me!" she said raising her eyebrows. "Unless my jeans and sweater, or the outfit I have on, count as appropriate date attire!"

He paused and turned to look at her letting his eyes wander up and down her body. "You do look good in that pant suit! But I have to admit I was hoping for a dress, something that would really-show off all of your curves!"

She laughed under her breath and placed her hands on his chest. "That's why I need to go shopping!"

"Can I tag along?" he asked placing his hands on her waist. This caused her to laugh a little harder.

"Sure, if you really want to. But I'm not modeling anything for you! I want it to be a surprise."

"Even better! That will leave more to my imagination!" he said. 

/

He followed her around without complaint for the next two hours. They were both having a good time. He'd pull a few items off the rack for her, some appropriate for the evening, and some he knew were completely off. When he pulled the completely off ones she would laugh and roll her eyes.

He'd leave her alone for awhile and go to the men's section coming back periodically with three or four ties and dress shirts for her to choose from. They were both getting more pleasure out of this excursion than they would have normally, because admittedly they were having a good time doing something together that wasn't dinner or work. They both needed the break from real life.

By the time they got to the last shop she had a pretty good idea as to what he would like to see her in. Thankfully, she thought to herself, it was similar to what she had in mind. He was waiting just outside the dressing room going through work email on his phone when she emerged and announced she had found the perfect dress. She made the purchase and they headed out of the shop back down the street towards the parking garage.

As they walked she noticed a jewelry shop across the street and told him she wanted to get something to go with the dress.

"Well you know what I think about you and jewelry!" he said as they crossed the street.

"Yes I do," she said in response.

As they browsed through the store's selection she tried on a few things and finally decided on a simple but stunning silver necklace that had three small diamonds on each side of a silver v shape at the center. She knew it would compliment the neckline of the dress, and she had a pair of diamond stud earrings back at the hotel that would go perfectly with it.

Will took it from her and handed it to the clerk. When the clerk asked for a credit card Will quickly handed over his before Alicia could pull hers out of her wallet.

"Will!" she said.

"Alicia, I'm buying this." He said with a stern smile.

She tilted her head to the side. "Will, no" she insisted.

"Don't argue with me." He said as he signed his name to the receipt. Then he grabbed the bag from the clerk with one hand and took hers in his other before she had time to protest any further.

"Come on!"

She shook her head and smiled. "Thank you, but you really didn't have to."

"I know! I wanted too!" he said, as he held the door to the street open for her.

When they got back to the hotel he walked with her to her room. "You have one hour to get ready. We have to be somewhere before the sun sets," he said, as she opened the door to her room.

She turned and raised her eyebrows at him. "Plans that specific? I better hurry!" He turned and chuckled as he walked back down the hallway towards the elevator.

Exactly one hour later there was a knock on her door. She had just finished pulling on her heels. When she opened the door she was greeted by Will in a dark suit and medium blue shirt minus a tie,. He held out a bouquet of simple white lilies with a hint of pink in the petals for her. Her lips turned up into a closed smile and she looked at him from under her long eyelashes as she took the bouquet from his hand.

"You're spoiling me!"

"No, I'm just trying to make a good impression!" He walked into the room and closed the door. "Are you ready?" he said, watching her every move as she placed the flowers on the coffee table. He would never get over her beauty or the effect it had on him.

"Almost" she said as she began frantically searching through her purse for the necklace. He was still in somewhat of a daze as a pout formed on her lips. "Will, I can't find the necklace," she admitted. "I've looked everywhere." She stood there with a look of complete resignation.

He walked over to her reaching his hand into his pocket. "You mean this one?" He said as he pulled the small box from his pocket.

"Yes" she said, with relief evident in her voice. They paused for a moment searching each other's eyes. She was excited for their date, partially because it was a real date. But also because she felt like it was the beginning of a something real. Yes she had determined nearly three weeks ago that she did indeed love him. But at the time the feeling had remained in her head. Yet in the few weeks since, the feeling had consumed her. They could stay in the room all night talking for all she cared. All she wanted was to spend time with him.

She watched in silence as he pulled the necklace from the box and moved behind her placing it around her neck. He paused just after he clasped it placing his hands on her bare shoulders. She smiled at the flutter that the scent of his cologne had caused inside her stomach. They could both sense the strong connection between them, something that had been missing for months. Even a few years, if one really wanted to argue the subject.

A few moments later she turned to face him. "Well what do you think?"

"I..." he let his eyes roam over the dark blue dress that hit just above her knees hugging her every curve. The neckline set in a v shape with the shoulder straps sitting just below her shoulders resting on her arms. His eyes wandered back up to her face where a few strands of hair she had meticulously left out of the loose twist at the back of her head, fell against her porcelain skin. "You look-amazing!" He looked away for a brief moment thinking he'd probably let his eyes wander just a bit too long. But she didn't mind. It had been a long time since Peter, or for that matter Will, had looked at her that way.

She chuckled under her breath at the slight awkwardness and pulled away from him. "We should probably go. Don't we have to be somewhere?"

"Yes." He took her hand, something she'd become accustomed to in the past twenty four hours, and they left the room.

They rode in comfortable silence for awhile each caught up in their own thoughts, periodically glimpsing over to the other one. After about thirty minutes she finally broke the silence. "So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise!" he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I just want to know when exactly in the past twenty four hours you had time to plan for surprises? Especially since I've been with you for most of the time."

This caused a chuckle out of him. "I wasn't with you all day, and I have friends."

"You have friends—here?"

"Remember Alicia, this isn't the first time I've been out here. And I figured you would come out here at some point to see the new office. I planned this date awhile back I just didn't think it would be our first!"

"I need to give you more credit. You plan more often than I would have ever thought."

He chuckled again as they pulled into the parking lot of a marina. This was not what she was expecting. "Are we getting on a boat?" she said as he held the car door open for her.

"Of sorts," he said taking her hand.

When they got to the edge of the marina and she saw their means of transportation, a very authentic looking gondola, she had to admit he had definitely surprised her.

"What do you think?" he said smiling.

"I—didn't even know they had gondolas in Los Angeles."

"Well they do, and I thought it would be the perfect way to watch the sun set."

"I'm sure it will be!"

Being April it was a little chilly on the water this time of night. They were provided with blankets which they wrapped up in together. They were also given a bottle of wine, the perfect thing to have before they went to dinner. Their ride lasted an hour and it was beautiful as they floated down the many connecting canals watching the setting sun reflect off the slow rolling waves of the water. They talked and laughed and were even serenaded by the gondolier.

She didn't think he could top that experience, nor did she expect him too. But when they arrived at the private high end restaurant on a beach front property she decided she may be wrong. As they were led to their table that sat out under the full moon and stars on a veranda just feet away from the beach she couldn't hold back her question any longer. "How on earth did you get a reservation at a place like this with less than twelve hours notice? This is a private resort Will."

He smiled as they were seated and handed the extensive wine list. "I could lie and tell you it was my charm, but the next time you see Burl Preston, remember to thank him!"

She shook her head. "So he's a member?"

"Yes"

"You know there is wealthy, and then there's _wealthy_! This is of the second kind." She said, looking over the menu.

"I know!" he said chuckling. "It will be fun to pretend we're "that" wealthy for one night. Don't you think?"

"I do!"

The food was exceptional and so was the wine. They shared a dessert while they tried to inconspicuously watch the other restaurant goers. A few celebrities happened to be in the mix of wealthy patrons. After he had made some silly joke that made her laugh he looked out at the beach and the rolling waves. He got serious again and took her hand.

"Come dance with me."

She looked at him blankly for a minute. "Will, I can't dance."

"Yes you can. I've seen you dance with Peter more than once."

"When?"

"You aren't the only one who's had to suffer through those formal galas."

She smiled and started to stand. "You were watching me dance at those events?"

"I've always been watching you, not just at those galas." he said taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor where a few other couples were dancing.

The light was dim and it was getting late. The only noise was the slow music and the waves crashing in the background. They had talked and danced for awhile, but the past few songs she had rested her head on his shoulder and they hadn't said anything enjoying the continuous swaying motion in each others arms.

There was a certain comfort and safety for her in his arms. Things finally seemed to be falling back into place, something she'd needed for months. She leaned in close to his ear and whispered.

"Will"

"Hmm" he muttered, continuing to gaze out at their surroundings.

"I love you too."

He momentarily paused and turned his head to look at her. "What?" He'd barely been paying attention having been lost in his own thoughts. He wanted to make sure he had heard her correctly.

She smiled at the perplexed look on his face as a few tears escaped her eyes. "You told me the night before we lost the baby that you loved me. I wasn't ready to respond then. I am now-I love you too."

She felt silly as a few more tears fled from her eyes. But he smiled and reached his hand to her face wiping the tears away with his thumb. Then he leaned in closer and pressed his warm lips to hers as they continued to sway to the music. They got lost in the kiss for a few moments. Her tears continued a slow trickle after they pulled apart. She looked up at him. "Can we go? I just want to be alone with you right now."

He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her with a smile. "Yes."

They didn't say much on the drive back to the hotel. Once they got back to her room he took off his jacket and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Did you have a good time tonight?"

"Yes, a wonderful time!"

"Good,' he said pressing his forehead to hers. "I'll have to ask you out again in that case!"

She let out a slight laugh. "I'd like that."

He leaned in and kissed her again with more passion than before. Her stomach began to flutter again as the kiss lingered on. Once he pulled away he had an idea. "Are you up for another bubble bath together? Like the one we had that night a few weeks ago."

She smiled and reached for the buttons on his shirt. "How about if we do better than that?" she said, unbuttoning the top button moving her hand to unbutton the next. The excitement in his eyes at the possibility of this news was visible.

"Alicia, are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, or have it be uncomfortable." He was excited, but worried. Her hands moved to the next button.

"You're not going to hurt me," she said with sincerity. "We'll just take it slow." She unfastened the last button and looked up at him.

"Will, I want this. I'm ready."

He moved his hand to her face brushing the loose strands of hair behind her ear. "Okay, but promise me you'll tell me if it gets to uncomfortable."

"Promise" she whispered

He moved her towards the bed as they kissed once again. He reached for the zipper on her dress and it fell to the floor as she reached for the clasp on his pants. True to his word he was gentle and slow. It felt like they had an eternity to make love to each other. After he'd placed kisses over nearly every inch of her body and she'd done the same to him. He kissed her breasts once again which almost took her over the edge. She could barely stand it another moment when he finally entered her. He started slow getting deeper and deeper inside of her. The pace became quicker as their breaths became shortened. Finally they succumbed at the same time. She let out a moan of pure pleasure.

Some time later they lay together in the bed with the sheets pulled up over their legs. He had his arm placed around her, and her head was resting against his shoulder. His thumb was tracing the line of the scar on her stomach.

"Will the scar ever go away?" he asked.

"I don't think so," she said looking down at his hand.

"The first time I saw it was that night after the bubble bath. I think I stopped breathing for a few moments when you turned around and I saw it." He ran his hand up and down her arm and leaned over placing a kiss on her head.

"I understand. I don't think about it much, but every so often I'll look down and notice it, or catch a glimpse of it in the mirror. It will always be a reminder." She shook her head holding back the tears. He could feel a slight shudder in her.

"It's okay Leesh. We'll get through this together." He pulled her in closer resting his chin on her head.

"I know," she said smiling. "It's already getting better."

He turned out the lamp and they settled under the covers. She rested her head on his chest placing her hand there as well. His arm was around her holding her close.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening!" she said.

"You're welcome." He leaned over and kissed her head again.

"And Leesh"

"Hmm," she said, as her eyes began to fall shut.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	18. Messages

**A/N; Thank you all for the reviews, faves, and follows! I'm glad you are all enjoying. Just as fair warning, this one hinges on an M rating in the middle.**

 **Messages**

In the three weeks since Alicia and Will had been back from Los Angeles, things had gone well. She had helped him get his office back into order. David Lee had gone to L.A. and there hadn't been any visible mishaps before he left, something Alicia had been concerned about. Their personal relationship had been very good. They had both started to breathe again with a little less caution over the weeks.

They, Alicia really, had made the decision when they got back, to continue to keep their relationship hidden. Will didn't want to, but Alicia thought it would be best until the ballot box issue was resolved. Will argued it could take months before any progress was made on the case, but Alicia was worried about how it would look if they had to testify. Will had accepted her terms-for three weeks.

 _Three weeks of torture,_ he thought to himself as he stood in the elevator on his way back up to the office. While they had made the effort to not outwardly show any affection at work, it hadn't prevented either one from sending a steamy email or text message a few times a day.

In fact just the previous day they had both sat at their desks late in the afternoon doing exactly that. What had started out as an innocent attempt on Alicia's part to make dinner plans, had turned into a game of seducing for thirty minutes.

 _What do you want for dinner?_ She texted him.

 _What do I want?_ He looked up from his phone, and she gave him that eye that drove him crazy, all the way from her office.

 _Do I get to choose?_ He replied, and then looked back up to her.

 _Yes! Anything you want!_

He smiled as he typed, _Anything?_

She didn't respond so he looked back over to her. She mouthed _Anything,_ slowly and seductively, batting her eyelashes at him and unbuttoning the top button of her blouse.

 _You shouldn't start something you can't finish right now!_ He replied.

 _I don't need to "finish" right now! The real question is can you wait another four hours for me to" finish" at your apartment tonight?_ He chuckled.

 _I thought I was choosing dinner?_

 _You are! I have dibs on the appetizer!_

Their little game went on from there until Alicia got a call from Colin Sweeney.

Not that ever talking to Sweeney resembled a normal conversation, but this one seemed off, more so than usual. He thanked her for the referral to David Lee to handle his recent divorce, and told her what a _smashing_ job she was doing on his most recent business investment. Normally she would have rolled her eyes and been grateful for the fact that he had called instead of making an appearance at the office. But in this instance she had no idea what he was talking about. The last time she'd spoken with him had been the day she decided to divorce Peter. That day he had told her about this new investment, but it was just talk at the time. She had done no work on it since.

At the risk of sounding like an idiot and potentially losing one of their top clients, which she wouldn't mind if it weren't for the money, she played it off and would try to figure it out after she was off the phone. Things had been so crazy she thought maybe she had just forgotten and had assigned an associate to look into Sweeney's new venture for her. But she was certain she would have remembered Sweeney telling her he was divorcing _again._

She and Will left the office at the same time. She told him about her conversation with Sweeney in the elevator ride down to the parking garage. Will knew about the divorce and told her David had finished it up just before he left. He had just assumed Alicia had known about the divorce. He also knew about the business investment, but had no idea Sweeney was the client. Tom, one of the equity partners over corporate law, had been the one to fill him in on the investment.

The whole situation was unsettling to her. "Do you ever get the feeling we're being played?" She said as they approached their cars.

He chuckled as he unlocked and opened his car door. "Alicia things have been crazy for weeks. We've both been busy. We can't keep an eye on every single case that comes through the office. No one is trying to play us."

"Yes, but Sweeney is _my_ client. How could I just _forget_ he told me he was divorcing?"

"Maybe it happened while you were out."

She let the notion sink in for a moment. "Maybe you're right. I don't know." She sighed as she opened the door to her car.

"Hey don't worry about it. You will still get all the credit for the investment, and you don't have to do all the work! Now I'm "hungry"! See you at my place in thirty!"

Her worry was set aside as she smiled at him. "I forgot to tell you I wore something special just for you today!" And before he could respond she got into her car and drove off.

As soon as she was inside his apartment he took control. He'd had enough of her relentless teasing for one day. This encounter would not be slow and romantic like all the others since they'd returned from L.A. They had both been driven near a breaking point earlier in the day. He backed her up against the wall as their lips crashed against each other. He removed her blazer and blouse quickly revealing a new, very transparent, red lace bra. He stood back to admire for a moment as she removed his dress shirt.

"Did this come in a set?" he said, running his fingers underneath the straps over her breasts to pull it off.

"Why don't you find out for yourself!" she said, tilting her head to the side with a raised brow. He smiled with a slight growl pressing his lips to hers again. Her hands moved to his belt but he grabbed her arms before she could reach it.

"No" he said, as he began to lead her down the hall to the bedroom. He continued to kiss her lips and neck as he gently pushed her down on the bed. He removed her skirt and stockings which did indeed reveal a pair of matching red lace panties. He quickly removed those and proceeded to kiss and touch her in a way, and in every spot, that he knew would drive her insane.

She kept reaching for his belt, but every attempt was stopped by him grabbing her arms and pressing them back down to the bed. Their breathing was heavy just a few minutes later when she begged him to remove his pants. He finally did and the pace became quicker as he entered her. Thrusting into her deeper caused her to moan in pleasure. Just moments later it ended in a breathless sweat with him collapsed on top of her, and broad smiles across both of their lips.

He turned his gaze back to her as they lay next to each other letting their breathing return back to normal.

"That will teach you to play your little games with me while we're at work!"

She chuckled. "Lesson learned! I'll have to do the same thing tomorrow!"

He laughed under his breath and turned pulling her in pressing his lips to hers again.

/

She had sent him a new message while he'd been in court on the pregnancy drug case. He should have never looked at it. It had thrown him off of his game for the rest of the morning, and all it read was _Dinner?_

So when he stepped off the elevator he'd decided he was going to put his foot down and insist their relationship no longer be held in secret. If he wanted to hold her hand or give her a quick peck on the lips at the office he was going too. He wouldn't make it unprofessional, or inappropriate for the work, but he was done holding back his affection for her all day long until they could be together after work.

He was headed to her office to tell her this. As he rounded the corner to their offices, he had no idea of the thunderstorm he was about to walk into for the next eight weeks. If they could pull their relationship, the firm, and their partnership through this, they might just have a future together on all accounts. But someone _was_ out to take control of the firm, and it wasn't the first person Will and Alicia would have assumed. Someone had been plotting against Will since the week before the gubernatorial election six months earlier. The way Will and Alicia's personal relationship had evolved over the months was only making things easier for the saboteur.


	19. Mixed Up Communications

**Mixed Up Communications**

Alicia was angry and disappointed after reading the email Laura, her assistant, had sent her. She didn't want to talk to Will. Not until she had time to cool down and gather her thoughts. She had learned over the past few months that getting right into a heated discussion with him without calming down first, led to both of them saying things they didn't mean. She hoped she would be able to leave for her afternoon appointments before he got back to the office. But as she stood and put a few things into her bag, he rounded the corner to their offices and walked straight into hers.

 _ **Two hours earlier**_.

 _A sly smile crossed her lips as she typed the text message, Dinner? to him, and then hit send. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she also knew it would drive him crazy if he had a chance to read it during the trial. Driving him crazy during the day had become a game. And she enjoyed the effects it had on the direction of their evenings together._

 _A few moments later her office phone rang. It was Mr. Paisley from the Paisley group. He thanked her for the work she had done on pulling together his companies merger with another company. He wanted to know if she could meet with him before the board meeting the following morning. He'd been working with Tom in corporate, but since she was the name partner over the deal he wanted her to be at the meeting. She was once again caught off guard, just as she had been the previous day with Sweeney. She had spoken to Mr. Paisley while she had been working from home two months earlier, but had no idea that any work had been done on his merger since then. She played it off and told him she would meet him later that afternoon. She pulled up his file and started going through it so she would be prepared to answer any of his questions._

 _An hour later she received another call very similar to the other two. She asked this client who had referred him to Julius, who had done most of the work on his case. He said that it had been her assistant while she was out of the office awhile back._

 _She hung up the phone and pondered what to do for a few moments. Laura had always been loyal to her, she thought anyway. She got up and went to have a little chat with Laura._

" _Laura, did someone tell you to pass my clients onto other attorneys when I'm out of the office?"_

" _Yes." Laura looked a bit pale as she answered._

 _Alicia sighed. "Who told you too?" Alicia kept a calm even tone, but she was upset. Laura glanced over to Will's assistant then back to Alicia._

" _Mr. Gardner"_

 _Alicia paused almost speechless. Will was the last person she would have suspected. She briefly turned her gaze to his office._

" _Will?" she said, looking back to Laura._

" _Yes, he sent me an email while you were out in March."_

" _Do you still have the email?" she questioned._

" _Yes"_

" _Will you pull it up and forward it to me please?"_

" _Yes, but Alicia I'm sorry, I thought I was supposed too."_

" _I know, just forward the email to me." She turned and went back to her desk and opened her email. Sure enough it had been from Will, and she couldn't believe it. In the email he told Laura that Alicia needed some time to recover. That any new clients asking for her were to be forwarded to him, and that any current clients who called with new cases, were to be handed off to other partners in the firm. He wanted Laura to continue this even after Alicia came back at times when Alicia was out at an appointment, or happened to take a day off, until he told her to do otherwise. He said she needed rest, and he didn't know how long it would take for her medications to help get her back on track. He ended the email by telling her that she should not tell Alicia he had asked for the favor. That in her current "unbalanced" state he wanted to keep her work load light._

 _Alicia read it three times in disbelief and now understood why the first client she had spoken to that morning had decided to leave the firm to go to another. The reason being, that the client had specifically wanted Alicia to work on her case, which she had done until she had been out of the office for two weeks recovering. At which point, apparently, the case had been assigned to a second year associate._

Alicia held her breath as he walked closer to her desk.

"Hey, do you have time to talk?" he said smiling, closing the gap between them to just a few feet.

She didn't look at him and moved to the other side of her desk grabbing some files and placing them in her bag. "No, I'm on my way out." She pulled her bag over her shoulder and looked at him from across the desk.

His smile disappeared when he saw the expression on her face.

"Are you alright?"

She sighed and looked away. "No" She wanted to leave but a part of her wanted to yell at him first. The debate continued in her head as he moved closer to her. She moved away just as he reached for her. She started walking towards the door.

"Alicia, what's wrong?" he said, moving towards her again. This was not the way he had planned for his conversation to go. He couldn't understand why she was trying to avoid him. "Where are you going?"

She paused briefly just as she got to the door with her hand on the door knob. She let go and turned to face him. She couldn't hold back the anger any longer even though she'd tried.

"I'm going to my _weekly_ doctor's appointment to have my blood drawn. Where as you know, they will make sure the medications I am on are keeping me in _balance."_ She said with exaggeration. _"_ You know so I'm not _unbalanced_ while I try to hold everything together. And while I'm there," she said, holding up the file and moving a little closer to him slightly raising her voice, "I'll be reading up on the Paisley merger. Because, as I'm sure you are well aware, I haven't done any of the work on this case even though it's _my_ client. Mr. Paisley has asked _me_ to meet with him this afternoon to go over the final details of the merger before the board meeting in the morning." Her voice had raised a considerable amount and Will was still clueless as to why she was so upset.

"Alicia why are you so upset?" he said, closing the gap between them and reaching for her arms once again. She backed up.

"You know I don't understand Will. Why did you do it? You're the one who told me you'd be the last person on the planet to try and prevent me from working." She turned and opened the door to her office and started to walk out towards the hall.

Will quickly followed after her. "Prevent you from working? Alicia, I don't know what you're talking about."

They got to the elevators and he took her arm into his hand forcing her to turn and look at him.

"How could you lie to me yesterday?" she said in a quiet tone, in an attempt to keep their squabble between the two of them. Will was becoming frustrated.

"I didn't lie to you yesterday. What is going on?"

"You knew all about the Sweeney case didn't you? But you didn't want to get caught." she said, as the door to elevator opened. He looked at her with pure confusion.

"No," he insisted.

She shook her head and pushed the button for the parking garage. He tried to step in to ride down with her.

"Don't come with me," she said, glaring at him. He knew better than to push further. He stood there staring at the elevator for a few moments as the door closed. He had to figure out what in the world was going on.

Kalinda walked up to him as he stood there. "Are you heading down?"

It took a moment for him to register what she was saying. "I..."

She looked around to try and figure out what was going on. "I need your help on a case." He said turning to face her.

"Okay, who is the client?" she said pulling out her notebook as they headed back to his office.

"Alicia" he said.

/

Alicia was sitting on the couch next to Grace with popcorn in hand. They were watching a movie. Zach had gone to the kitchen to get another soda. The three were attempting to have a little more family time together before Zach headed off to Georgetown in a month. Alicia was engrossed in the movie and barely heard the knock on the front door.

"I'll get it," Zach yelled from the hall.

The knock registered, and Alicia looked at her watch. It read nine thirty. She jumped up from the couch knowing there was only one person who would be trying to come for a visit this late on a weeknight.

"No Zach, don't answer it," she said turning the corner to the entryway. But she was too late as Zach held the door open for Will to enter.

Will didn't move into the apartment having overheard her tell Zach to not answer it. She stood there and stared at him for a minute before saying anything. "Zach could you give us a minute please?" Zach nodded and went back into the living room.

Alicia moved outside of the apartment and closed the door. "Will, I don't want to talk right now," she said, folding her arms.

"Alicia I didn't send that email."

She chuckled under her breath and shook her head. She couldn't believe he would look her straight in the eye and lie. "I don't even know what to say Will."

"Alicia just listen to me." He moved closer to her placing his hands on her arms. "Please," he almost begged.

She looked away taking in a deep breath. At the moment she hated how easily he could change her mood just by touching her. She could feel tears threatening to spill at any moment. She wanted to believe him, but she felt so betrayed. She bit her lip taking in a deep breath through her nose to prevent the tears. "Will, I can't do this right now."

"Alicia I know why you're hurt. But I didn't do it. You've got to believe me. I'm just as upset over this as you are." He tried to close the gap between them, but she pulled away.

"Will I want to believe you, I do. But the evidence is pretty solid. Please just go," she said in a whisper as the first few tears escaped from her eyes.

"Alicia!" His heart was aching. He hated seeing her tears when she wouldn't let him comfort her.

"Will please, I don't want to say something I will regret later."

He sighed briefly looking down at the floor before his gaze met hers once again. "Okay, but promise me you'll give me a chance to prove to you that I didn't do this."

"Okay, but not tonight." She turned and went back into her apartment closing the door leaving him there alone in the hallway. He shook his head and turned to leave.

She stood with her back against the door and her eyes closed. She breathed in deeply as more tears fell from her eyes.

"Hey Mom, are you coming?" Grace called from the living room.

"I'll be there in a minute," she called back.

"Is Will still here?" Zach called.

"No, he had to go. I'll be right there." She moved into the bedroom heading for the bathroom. She washed her face with a cold cloth to hide her slightly red and puffy eyes from the kids before she rejoined them.

/

The following day proved to be eventful. The board meeting had only gone okay. And one of the Paisley's former employees was suing for wrongful termination. After the meeting she had lunch with a client. Then she had to go meet with Colin Sweeney to get him to sign some documents. Something that should have taken fifteen minutes at the most, took an hour. And somehow she had managed to get an invite for her and Will to Colin's engagement party for the following Friday evening. She rolled her eyes at how quickly he went through spouses. She didn't even set foot into the office until late afternoon. Will was in court.

She began to go through her cases to try and figure out if there were any others where work was being done that she wasn't aware of. Awhile later her phone rang.

"Cary, how are you?" she said cheerfully.

"Good! And you?"

"I'm, okay" she said with a little hesitancy.

"That doesn't sound reassuring." he said, with a slight chuckle.

"It's just been a day Cary. What can I do for you?"

"First of all, thank you for sending a few new clients my way last month. I was thinking how nice it must be to have so many cases that you need to turn some away. But I heard a rumor last night."

Alicia was still stuck on the clients she'd supposedly sent his way but managed to get out a response. "What rumor, Cary?"

"That you guys are looking for someone to buy you out." She laughed out loud. "So it's definitely a rumor then?" he said.

She had to get her laughter under control before responding. "Yes, it is most definitely a rumor. I can guarantee you we are "not" looking. We just opened up in L.A."

"Yeah I heard. Sports law right? I bet Will's excited about that!"

Alicia's laughter ceased. "No, just family law for now." _Sports law, that is something Will would want._ She thought to herself.

Cary chuckled. "This is why I called. Obviously someone has been misinformed. I thought I'd better get the real story from you!"

"Where did you hear this rumor?" After yesterday, this rumor was suddenly no longer settling well with her.

"Over drinks last night, with some old college friends. Next time I see them I'll put a stop to the rumor."

"I'd appreciate that."

They chatted for a few more minutes before hanging up. Alicia continued to work for the next few hours.

Will paused at the door to Alicia's office. She stood in the corner near her desk looking out at the city skyline in the fading sun. The last rays of sun were reflecting off her dark brown hair. He could not deny how beautiful she looked standing there in the deep plum sheath dress she was wearing. She looked to be deep in thought and he briefly thought of not disturbing her. But she had to know the truth, so he quietly opened the door and entered. He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She turned her head and looked at him, but didn't pull away. A good sign he thought.

"Hi"

"Hi" she said, turning her gaze back to the window. "You didn't hire some attorneys in L.A. to do sports law did you?"

He took his hands from her and leant against the file cabinet in front of her.

"No, why?"

She sighed and recounted her conversation with Cary for him. Once she had finished he ran his hands over his face and shook his head.

"I'm glad you set him straight. We'll have to send a memo around the firm. Can we talk about yesterday?"

She took in a deep breath. "Yes."

"Come sit down and pull up the email." She moved back to her desk and he stood behind her. She pulled her lips together and opened up the email. He leaned over and pointed to the screen.

"See that date?" he said pointing to the time stamp for when the email had been received.

"Yes, March 2." she said.

"Eight thirty two on March 2. Do you know where I was at that time on March 2?"

"No"

He smiled and turned to look at her. "March 2 was the Sunday after you came home from the hospital. I was with you in your living room getting killed by two teenagers at a game of scrabble!"

She thought back to that night and remembered how much fun it had been to watch Will's ego get shot to pieces by her kids.

He continued. "I had been there the whole day. You fell asleep on me in the afternoon on the couch, preventing me from getting up until you woke up an hour later. I didn't leave your apartment until ten thirty that night."

"How can you remember what time you left?"

"Because, I called Kalinda to meet me for drinks at eleven after I left. I drove to that bar near her apartment."

"The one with the really great tequila!" she said. She was beginning to believe him, she wanted to believe him.

"Yes" he said chuckling. "I still don't know how you two drink that stuff!" She chuckled. "That bar is a thirty minute drive from your apartment." he said. She knew this to be true.

"But Will you were coming back to the office at who only knows what hour during that time. You could have easily come back here and sent the email. Time stamps are off on email all the time."

He stood up straight again and moved around to the chair in front of her desk. "I didn't come back to the office that night. I was too drunk."

He looked away for a minute. "I was struggling Alicia." he sighed, then looked back towards her. "I was hurting, and I felt helpless. I wanted for there to be some way to take the pain away from you, from both of us, but I couldn't. I knew I shouldn't be driving, and Kalinda let me crash at her place for the night."

"Really!" she said, with a raised brow.

"Yes, on her sofa."

She had to smile at the thought of Will sleeping on Kalinda's sofa. It was so out of the ordinary.

"Kalinda checked with It. The email was sent from an IP address within our office. There is no way I could have sent that email."

She got up from her desk and went to sit on the sofa at the other end of the office. He got up and went to sit next to her. "I know how angry this made you. But you've got to believe that I would never do something behind your back to hurt you like this." He took her hands into his. She leaned back and closed her eyes. She was suddenly very relieved and tired.

"Can you forgive me?" he said.

"Forgive you for something you didn't do?", she said holding her eyes shut. He smiled letting his eyes wander over her.

"Yes, does that mean you believe me?"

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Yes… I believe you." She smiled and squeezed his hand. "You do realize that if someone has hacked into your email we have a whole different problem on our hands though right?"

"I know. Kalinda's trying to find out if any confidential information has been leaked. Or if any other accounts have been hacked into it since then."

"That's good, but if someone has recently gotten their hands on your email, you and I are vulnerable personally."

He'd been so busy worrying about Alicia, and client confidentiality that he hadn't even thought about the other reason neither of them would want his email hacked.

"We should probably put our little game to rest for awhile," he said, blushing.

"Yeah, bury it in the back yard, kind of rest," she said, chuckling.

He began running his thumb across her hand. "Alicia I don't want to pretend anymore. I want to be able to sit here holding your hand, and not worry if someone is going to walk in and see. If we spend the night together I want to be able to come to work the next day in the same car." He watched her contemplate his request for a moment. He had a few other arguments as to why it would be alright if people knew about them to pose to her, if she countered.

"Okay," she said.

He was surprised. "That's it?"

"That's it," she said. "I'm done with all the secrets."

"Okay, thank you," he said.

"You're welcome." She said leaning over placing a kiss on his cheek. He smiled and they both leant back against the couch.

"Will, what do you think is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"The email, the rumors, do you think we should be concerned? That maybe we aren't seeing something?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I have no idea."

She was so used to him making decisive statements that led her to believe he was completely in control and secure with most situations, that this comment was very unsettling.


	20. Envelopes

**Envelopes**

A win was expected and granted on Will's medical malpractice case, and the amount the firm would take in was large. This prompted the celebration at the office three weeks after Alicia discovered Will's email. It was a good thing too, because Will's email account wasn't the only one that had been hacked. It took a few days for their IT experts to find it. Whoever had hacked into their system knew what they were doing, and had been very careful to go undetected. It was hard to tell if any confidential information had been leaked, or if someone was just watching the firm's activities. The firm decided to buy a whole new computer and email system, and replace some laptops, something that didn't come cheap. But with this win it was fine, and they still had a large amount to put away for a rainy day.

Will and Alicia had held a meeting with the partners disclosing their relationship. The announcement didn't come as a surprise to anyone. It was pretty clear to everyone the day Alicia was named as Will's partner, where their relationship would end up. Especially since Alicia was divorced.

This had prompted Will's openness in the celebratory kiss he gave Alicia in her office as the party was winding down and everyone was heading home.

"Come on let's go," Will said, placing another quick peck on Alicia's lips."I'm not done celebrating yet!" he whispered into her ear, gently kissing her neck as his hands ran up and down her back. She giggled and pulled back slightly.

"Will, we're still at work. Remember..." He placed his lips to hers again preventing her from continuing. Her head began to spin, and she forgot what she going to say as he pressed his body closer to hers and his tongue entered her mouth. For a brief second she considered ripping his clothes off right there, but then her conscience took control again and she pulled away. "Will, we are at the office. Let's go, I have a surprise for you!"

He only looked a little hurt that she wouldn't let him continue to shower her with alcohol stained kisses, but he knew she was right. Remaining close he placed his hands on her hips.

"A surprise!"

She moved out of his grasp and grabbed her bag. "Yes! Just for you!" she said, with a raised brow.

"What is it?" he said, grabbing her arm so she couldn't retreat more. She knew he couldn't handle a surprise once he knew there was one. He'd torture her more for not telling him until they arrived than she was in the mood for tonight, so she spilt the beans right there.

"I booked us a hotel room for the night!" she said, as a sly grin crossed her lips.

"You did!" he said. His smile was all she needed to know she'd made the right decision on this.

"I did! You worked hard on this case. I thought you deserved a night out! And anyway, the next few days are going to be chaotic with Zach graduating. We won't have much time to spend with each other."

He drew in a deep breath thinking of the possibilities for the night. "I think I love you!" he said.

She chuckled. "I love you too! Now come on." She grabbed his hand and they headed out.

/

Zach graduated a few days later and left for Georgetown that same night. Alicia thought she was prepared to let her oldest leave home, and she was in most ways. But that didn't mean she didn't miss him terribly, or felt a little sad as soon as he walked out of the apartment. She closed the door after him and leaned against it in the entryway taking in the all too quiet surroundings. Everyone had gone, all the family including Peter, Jackie, and even Eli. Grace had gone to spend the night with a friend. Her summer vacation had just begun, and she was planning on making the most of it.

Alicia moved into the dining room and started clearing away all of the dishes. Of course no one had stayed to help clean up. But she didn't mind tonight, it would help keep her busy until bedtime. Will had not attended the graduation or party following. He talked to Zach the day before, and didn't want things to be awkward for either Zach or Alicia. She chuckled as she remembered Will giving Zach some "man to man" advice for college.

She sighed as she rinsed the dishes in the sink contemplating leaving them until morning. Then there was a knock at her door. She threw the dish towel over her shoulder and went to answer it. It was nearly ten thirty, and she wasn't expecting anyone.

She didn't realize until she saw Will standing there how much she'd wished he'd been with her all night. She burst into tears as he walked into the apartment. He smiled as he wrapped her up in his arms.

"I miss him already," she said, through her tears.

"I figured. That's why I brought you this!" he said, pulling back from her holding out a wrapped box. She took it from him as her tears continued to spill. She smiled as she removed the wrapping and shook her head.

"A box of Kleenex!" she said, with a slight smile as she opened the box to retrieve a tissue.

"Yes! It's the only thing better for a mother who's just sent a child off to college other than a magic potion that keeps them from growing past age ten!"

She chuckled again. "Thank you," she said, returning to his embrace. "You didn't have to come."

He smiled and held her tighter. "I know, but I didn't think you really meant it when you told me you didn't need me tonight!"

"You are right about that," she said, settling into his embrace.

The next morning the two were getting ready for work, both had moved a few things to the other's apartments for instances like this. They had the morning news on in the background. Will was in the shower Alicia was dressing when the news story caught her attention. She moved to the edge of the bed and sat as the story continued. Only snippets of what was being said registered in her mind.

 _Why hadn't Peter said anything?_ She thought to herself as the story continued.

" _Federal investigators are looking into the apparent voter fraud scandal. Stuffed ballot boxes, Governor Florrick has no comment at this time. The team of lawyers, including the Governor's ex-wife."_

"Alicia," Will called, as he moved out of the bathroom drying his hair with a towel. "Alicia," he called again, gaining her attention this time she turned to face him. "Are we ready to meet with the editor in chief today?"

"Are we…" It took a minute for her to register what he was asking.

He smiled and sat next to her. "Still waking up!" he teased.

She continued to stare at him. Then he heard his name come up on the television in the background. His gaze moved from her to the screen. They both continued to watch for a few minutes before either one said anything. They knew sooner or later this was going to get out. Will was supposed to meet with someone from the investigation later in the week.

"Don't worry about it," he finally said. "They have no reason to call you as a witness. If they decide to call any of the three of us it will be me, not you or Diane. I'm the one who tried to show Peter the video." He sighed and stood up to turn off the television.

"And what if they do call you to be a witness?" she said, giving him her full attention.

"Then I will take the fifth. I am covered by attorney client privilege. We've been over this."

"No Will we haven't. We've avoided it, because we could. Who showed you the video? Why didn't you tell me about it?" She was doing her best to stay calm, but lately every time things seemed to settle something else happened to ruin it.

"Alicia I told you before. I was trying to protect you. Why does it matter?" He sat next to her and took her hands into his. "Would you have done anything if you had known about the video?"

Maybe she wouldn't have, but she wanted to understand how this had all come about. Maybe Will wasn't the one to get all the information from that she desired, but she wanted to know what he knew.

"No more secrets Will. Who showed it to you?"

He sighed. "Kalinda, she was looking at the surveillance video from that precinct to see if the seal on the ballot box had in fact been broken. When she saw Jim Moody on the tape she brought it to me."

"And what did Peter say when you went to show it to him?"

"Alicia we can't discuss this. If for some reason they call you to the stand, you need to know as little as possible." He could see the frustration in her eyes, but felt this was for the best.

"Did Peter do this? Did he tell Eli to stuff that ballot box?"

"Alicia"

"Will, Peter and Eli aren't interested in the truth. They are looking for someone to blame, someone to take the hit for them. The way things appear right now, that person is either you, or Jim Moody. I'm not going to let Peter destroy our firm because of some misinterpreted instruction from Eli to an underling."

"Alicia we don't even know if that's what happened. For all we know Jim Moody did this all on his own. We can't discuss this. It's better for both of us." He stood buttoning up his shirt.

She sighed and stood in frustration moving to the drawer to get some earrings. "Yes, we are ready to meet with the chief editor today." She moved past him and went out to the kitchen to get her coffee.

He followed and wrapped his arms around her waist as she poured the coffee. "Come on don't be angry at me," he said, brushing the hair away from her neck leaning in to kiss it.

She smiled and turned handing him a coffee mug. "I'm not angry at you. I'm just frustrated," she admitted, as she took a sip of her coffee.

He set his mug down and embraced her. "And you miss Zach," he said with a slight smile. She looked down at their feet.

"Yes, and I miss Zach."

"Come on," he said. "We have depositions soon. There is nothing better to keep your mind off of Peter and Zach, than a good few hours of depos!"

She laughed under breath and kissed his cheek. "Yeah," she said, then turned to go get her things for work.

/

They were deposing a woman who had accused a top editor at the Chicago Tribune of sexual harassment. They had taken a break for lunch and Will and Alicia had returned to their offices. There was a manila envelope on Will's desk. He grew furious as he looked at its contents.

"Amy where did this come from?" he yelled, out to his assistant.

"It was on my desk when I came back from getting some coffee," she said innocently.

He immediately found the number for the tribune and dialed. Alicia looked up from her work when she heard him yelling.

"If you print this I will sue you personally for everything you've got," he said, yelling into the phone. "Where did you get this information?" he continued. "Who is your source?" he demanded.

Alicia got up from her desk and started to move to his office as he slammed the receiver down and swiped his hand across the edge of his desk causing papers to fly to the floor. Alicia grew concerned as she saw the anger in his features. He grabbed the envelope from his desk and headed towards the door to his office.

"Will what's going on?" she said, as she reached him.

He paused looking over to the window, then turned back to her. "I'll be back for the depos. There's something I need to do." He put his hand on her arm and leaned over to kiss her cheek. He was avoiding her questions again and it was irritating her. He moved past her and she followed him to the elevator.

"Will, what's going on?"

"Alicia I need to go," he said, moving into the elevator. She held the door as it began to shut.

"No Will tell me where you're going," she said, staring right into his eyes. The anger briefly left his eyes.

"Please Alicia, I need to go," he said, in almost a whisper. He was almost begging, and this was even more unsettling to her. Just then Kalinda was walking past.

"Kalinda, I need you come with me," he said, when he saw her. Kalinda looked confused as she looked from Will to Alicia, but moved into the elevator and stood next to Will. Alicia moved from the elevator doors, and folded her arms across her chest glaring at him as the doors closed. He knew he was in trouble, but he was trying to protect her again, trying to protect both of them. She'd thank him in the end if he could prevent this from getting out. Hopefully she wouldn't have to know. He handed Kalinda the envelope as the elevator slowly made it's decent towards the parking garage.

"I need you find out who the source is on this," he said, with tight lips.

"You're going to try and stop this?" she questioned.

"Yes, I have too, it will kill Alicia if it gets out." he said, as the doors opened. "Come with me. I might need a witness. Someone is going to pay for this."

Kalinda followed him and got into the passenger seat of his car.

"Will, don't do anything stupid while we're there," she warned, as he sped out of the garage.

"That's why I have you with me," he said, "To prevent someone from calling the police."

Alicia went back to her office furious. She assumed this had something to do with the voter fraud accusations and immediately called Peter. Peter acted clueless, and this only infuriated her more. She hung up on him and stewed in her office until their client returned. After waiting fifteen minutes for Will, she started the deposition without him.

Thirty minutes later Will and Kalinda returned and entered the conference room where Alicia was handling the deposition. She ignored him and continued questioning their client. A few minutes later she paused and turned her attention to Will. He could tell she was still very upset with him. He avoided her gaze and turned his attention to their client.

"Mr. Gardner is Jim coming? You were suppose to depose him this afternoon right?" the young twenty something asked.

"Actually, Julia I want to talk to you about your case."

He avoided Alicia's gaze while he explained, and eventually convinced Julia to drop her case. After Julia left Alicia stared at him for a very long minute contemplating how she would handle this. This had been a good case, she knew it, and he knew it. Yet he had just convinced their client otherwise.

He spoke up first.

"Alicia"

She got up from her seat and was about to leave, but turned back to him. "What was that Will?" She placed her hands on her hips. "That was a good case and you just let it walk out the door."

"It wasn't a winnable case," he said.

"Yes it was." She shook her head and left the conference room.

"Are you going to tell her?" Will had forgotten Kalinda was sitting next to him.

"If I don't there might be consequences I can't undo this time."

Kalinda nodded and stood. "Give her time to cool down before you tell her."

"Yeah," he said, as he got up and went back to his office.

Alicia left work early and didn't say a word to Will. He thought it was best to let her come to him when she was ready to talk, or yell at him which ever she preferred. She held her silence through the next day. The stubbornness in these two was unbelievable. She may have held out longer, but David Lee had called Will and told him they had an opportunity to gain some new attorneys in sports law, an area Will was admittedly interested in. David had done well in the two months he'd been in L.A. and had brought in a significant amount of money. Will knew he had to talk to Alicia before making the decision to take the new attorneys on. So later in the evening when things had quieted down some he went to her office to discuss it. She listened without saying a word. He was surprised at how angry she obviously still was. The conversation was like talking to a brick wall.

"Do what ever you want Will," were the first words out of her mouth since he'd entered her office. She sat back in her chair and folded her arms.

He could have grown upset, but he knew why she was mad. "Alicia I want you to agree to this as well. We won't do it if you don't want to."

She managed to keep her cool. "I can't figure out what you want anymore."

He sighed and stood, and then started to walk out of her office.

"That's it?" she said, standing up from her desk following him to his office. "You don't have anything else to say?" She shook her head in disbelief. This never ending cycle of up and down was really wearing on her.

He turned to face her again from behind his desk. He held out the envelope to her. She recognized it as the envelope from the other day.

"What is it?"

"Something I didn't want you to have to see. Just open it." He moved close to her because he didn't know what her reaction would be. She pulled the paper from the envelope and put her hand over her chest inhaling deeply as she saw the photo of Will carrying her into the hospital and began to read the article.

" _Governor's ex-wife and secret lover abort baby to hide relationship."_

She started to feel weak in the knees as she continued to read the article with the tribune's header on top. She slowly moved away from Will and went to sit on the sofa. Will went and sat next to her.

"When is this being published?"

"It won't be now," he said. He reached to touch her, but she moved away.

"That's where you went yesterday, to the tribune to stop this from being published?"

"Yes"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" She turned and looked at him. He shifted uncomfortably at the question.

"Because I thought I could make it go away and you wouldn't ever have to know."

She sighed and looked down at the floor. "You have to stop trying to protect me from everything. I'm not a child Will."

"I know, I just hate to see you hurt." He moved closer to her again.

She looked back up at him. "Where did the photo come from?"

"I don't know. The editor wouldn't give up his source. I was about to punch him, it's a good thing Kalinda was there."

Alicia took in his words, but didn't say anything for a few moments.

"It's like the other photos," she said.

"What other photos?"

"The photos that were sent to my apartment a few months back. The ones of us leaving the gala together that night." She was beginning to feel nervous and uncertain.

He shifted and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm scared Will. What if someone's been following me? Following us?" The fear was evident in her eyes. "The only way someone could have taken that photo was if they had been watching us, and followed us to the hospital."

He moved and wrapped his arms around her. "No one has any reason to be following us."

"We have to find out who the source was Will," she said with her head buried in his shoulder. "I'll go talk to the editor, make him spill what he knows, and then we can get a restraining order."

"We can't find out that way," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because, if we pursue it through him he'll print the article."

She pulled back and looked up at him. "So he's using this as blackmail?"

"Yes"

"And if we didn't convince Julia to drop the case he'd print it. Is that what happened?"

"Yes"

"Will, there are so many things wrong with this. Have we really been reduced to lying to clients to protect us from this? Maybe we should take her case back."

Before he could answer they were interrupted by her assistant. "There is someone here to see both of you," she said, turning and pointing to the man that stood outside of Will's office.

Will sighed and stood releasing his grip on Alicia. "Can I help you?" he asked as the man entered the office.

The man held out his hand revealing two envelopes. "Will Gardner, Alicia Cavanaugh?"

"Yes," they both replied.

"You've both been served." Will took the two envelopes from the man's hands and turned to Alicia. She was pale.

"This can't be good," she said.

 **Authors note: Thanks for hanging in there with me! I promise we are getting somewhere with all of this!**


	21. Honesty in All Things

**Honesty in All Things**

Alicia sat in the quiet of her office just as the June sun was beginning to rise over the Chicago city skyline. She would have watched the sun come up from where she sat, if it weren't for the fact that she'd kept the blinds in her office closed in the week since they had been subpoenaed. She hadn't come into the office early to work. She'd come because she hadn't been able to sleep. It felt like some aspects of he life were closing in on her. It was suffocating and unnerving to think someone had been, or still was, watching her.

The press had been all over Peter and the preliminary trial that had begun two days prior.

As far as Alicia had been able to gather Jim Moody was the one the Feds were after. Will had testified the day before pleading the fifth on all questions as Elsbeth Tascioni, Peter's chosen attorney, had told him to do. None of the questions they asked him had seemed out of the ordinary. If anything it seemed as though the apposing attorney was trying to clear Will from fault. This had settled her nerves some, but today it was her turn to testify. She'd had to sit on the stand far too many times over the past five years in her opinion. And each time no one had really been interested in the truth, they'd been more interested in the relationships she was in.

So far Diane hadn't been subpoenaed. Probably because the last thing anyone wanted to do was put a state Supreme Court justice on the stand for questioning, especially for a preliminary trial.

It had become clear to Will and Alicia over the past week that someone had been trying to keep them at odds, doing everything possible to try and tear the two apart. The plan had backfired. Will had become the only person, other than her kids, that Alicia trusted now. She didn't let on, but Will knew the thought of being watched and followed had made Alicia quite nervous. The fact had only made Alicia feel closer to him. In fact the depth of their relationship was growing and changing into something more long term. There was only one hiccup to their future in Alicia's mind, and she hadn't brought it up. As she sat pondering the whole of everything in her life at this early morning hour, she knew she had talk to Will about it before things got much further, even it meant breaking their personal relationship.

Will knocked quietly and stepped into her office shutting the door behind him. He moved behind the chair where Alicia was sat and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she said, exhaling deeply as she placed one of her hands over his.

"You're here early," he said moving in front of her, leaning against her desk.

"I couldn't sleep." She stood and walked over to the window staring at the closed blinds. He moved and stood next to her placing one arm around her. She felt so safe in his arms, so loved and complete. She didn't want to lose him, but they had to face the reality of what she was about to say to him.

"You should have let me come over after I finished last night."

"It was late, and I was in bed." She sighed again, and looked down at his hand that was around her waist now.

"You'll be fine today. Don't worry. They don't have anything on you. You haven't done anything wrong. Just tell the truth," he said, as reassuringly as he could.

"I will," she said. They stood there for a few more moments before she spoke up. She turned to face him and placed her hands on his waist looking up into his eyes.

"Will, I need you to listen me for a minute, and I don't want you to say anything right away. I want you to take some time, a few hours, a few days to think about it. I know what your initial reaction is going to be, but you really need to think about this."

"Think about what?" he said, furrowing his brow.

She inhaled deeply, her heart about to break at any moment. She was really too tired to be having this discussion, but she needed it out in the open. She felt as though she might crumble into a million pieces because she loved him so much it hurt.

"I know this isn't the most opportune time, but I need to get this off my mind."

"Okay, now you have me worried," he said, with a slight smile reaching his arms further around her pulling her closer.

"What if I can't give you everything you want? Everything you deserve?"

"Alicia." His heart stopped, he was sure of it. Was she about to break things off, he wondered?

"Will, just hear me out." The lump in her throat was huge. He could see the anguish in her eyes and it almost killed him.

"You want a family. You deserve a family of your own. I want you to have that, to experience that." She reached for the lapel on his suit jacket. "But Will, what if I can't provide you with one? What if I can no longer give you a child of your own? Your own family?"

He understood what she was saying, but he hadn't worried about it. With the loss of one of her fallopian tubes from the pregnancy, conceiving was still possible, but at her age, and with the prior condition the odds were stacked against them. He looked away from her and swallowed hard.

"Alicia it doesn't…"

"Stop, Will. Don't say anything," she said calmly. "You really need to think about this. I can't see down the road a year or two from now. Maybe we'll decide we can't make it together." He turned back to her looking hurt. He couldn't believe she would even suggest the idea. All he'd wanted for the past five years was her.

"I want us to make it. I love you so much I can hardly breathe sometimes, but I don't want you to regret the decision to stay with me ten years from now. You need to decide if never having a child of your own is going to be okay. I don't want to take up any more of your time in finding someone who can give you that, if that is what you really want."

He felt like she was trying to rip his heart right out of his body. He was ninety nine percent certain he already knew the answer to her quandary, but she was right, he did need to really consider what he really wanted deep down.

"Okay, I'll think about it,' he said, and leaned over to kiss her cheek. He turned to go back to his office.

"Will"

"Yeah?' he said, turning back around.

"I'm sorry."

He walked back over to her and took her hands. "You don't have anything to be sorry for." He looked down at the floor and shook his head, then turned his gaze back to her with a slight smile, as much of one as he could muster at that point. He reached his hand touching it to her cheek. "Nothing at all." He dropped his hand and turned leaving her alone once again.

She sighed and sat as the knot in her stomach tightened. _What were you thinking telling him something like that first thing in the morning, at the office no less?_ _Things are out of control right now._ She thought to herself before turning her attention to her work.

/

Peter's approval ratings had plummeted and journalists were camped outside the courthouse as Alicia arrived. This was just a preliminary trial so anyone who wanted was allowed in the courtroom including journalists, but no cameras were allowed. There seemed to be more journalists this morning then there had been on the previous days. Word had gotten out that Alicia was testifying. Elsbeth, Peter, and Alicia were sat at the defense table. Eli, Will, and Diane were sitting behind them. The mood in the room seemed light, and though Alicia still had a knot in her stomach she managed to play it off. Soon she was called to the stand.

Elsbeth went first asking questions that were straight forward and to the point further proving Alicia had no knowledge of the ballot boxes being stuffed, in addition to the surveillance videos that had been accumulated over the months since the election.

Then it was the feds turn to question. Alicia felt confident that the questioning would run smoothly.

"You had no prior knowledge of the ballot boxes being stuffed, is that correct?" Mr. Jones, opposing council asked.

"Yes, I've already answered that question."

"Have you at any point prior to, or after the election conspired with your partner Mr. Gardner and Jim Moody to help conceal evidence of voter fraud in regards to the Governor's election?"

"No"

"Ms. Cavanaugh do you consider yourself to be an honest person?"

She had no idea what the point of the question was, but she answered anyway.

"Yes, I do."

"You and Mr. Gardner are currently dating. Is that correct?"

The eyes that had been paying more attention to their phones than these proceedings were suddenly all looking at her. She shifted and turned her focus to Will.

"I don't see how that is relevant to this case Mr. Jones."

"Objection, your honor," Elsbeth said, standing.

"I don't see how this is relevant either Mr. Jones," said the judge.

"Your honor, if you'll allow me to ask a few more questions I think you'll see how it is relevant."

Everyone at the defense table turned to Will. He shrugged his shoulders holding eye contact with Alicia.

The judge sighed. "Overruled, I'll allow, but make it quick. Ms. Cavanaugh, please answer the question.

"Yes," she replied.

 _Here we go again,_ She thought to herself, _the inevitable relationship questions._ In all honestly she was too tired to deal with this today.

"And for how long have you been dating?"

"Since April," she said truthfully. That is when they had started dating officially.

"You divorced your former husband because he cheated on you again is that correct?"

"Yes, he did," she said, turning her gaze briefly from Will to Peter.

"But he wasn't the only one cheating was he?" Alicia quickly turned her attention back to the attorney. Will, Eli and Peter all sat up a little straighter.

"Yes, he was the only one cheating," she said sternly, rolling her eyes.

The attorney pulled up a photo on the screen that sat a few feet away from Alicia. "Then how do you explain these? Your honor, you'll take note of the dates as I scroll through a few of these photos I would like to enter in as evidence."

The room seemed to be closing in on her, and Will began to realize that there may have been some merit to her concern about being followed. She held her breath as the attorney began clicking through the photos.

"This photo was taken the night before the election. I believe this is you and Mr. Gardner kissing in the front seat of his car. " Alicia didn't say anything she turned and focused on Will wondering how anyone had even managed to get that shot. His eyes were glued to the screen obviously thinking the same thing she was.

He clicked to the next one. Three photos popped up side by side. Two she'd seen, but one she hadn't. "That is you dancing with Mr. Gardner at the annual law gal on December eleventh of last year. The same day you filed for a divorce. That's you resting your head on his shoulder. And that is the two of you leaving the gala. The third photo there is the two of you leaving Mr. Gardner's apartment the following morning."

He clicked to the next photo as Alicia sat in stunned silence. "This is you leaving Mr. Gardner's apartment on Christmas Eve, quite late I might add. And this is the two of you at the end of March in Los Angeles," he said, clicking to the next photo. The photo was of the two of them dancing at the restaurant on their date in L.A.

"We could let that one slide since you said you started dating in April. Are you still going to deny you weren't in a relationship before April? And claim that you are an honest person?" The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop as he waited for a response. Will was ready to get up and punch this guy. Alicia sat frozen on the stand unable to come up with words. The turmoil that had engulfed her body was severe. She couldn't explain her relationship, or lack there of over the past months in a few words, nor did she want too.

The lawyer smiled slyly, "You were promoted to named partner just three weeks after this gala is that correct?"

Alicia stared at him for a moment before responding. "Yes, but again what does this have to do with this case?" she said, with a slight hint of anger.

He pulled up his final piece of evidence and Alicia felt sick. It was the article the Tribune had threatened to publish just over a week ago. There were a few quiet gasps in the room. Will watched as the blood drained from Alicia's features. He shifted ready at any moment to go catch her if she were to pass out. Elsbeth and Diane both turned to Will briefly looking for some acknowledgment of what they were seeing.

"This photo was taken ten weeks after that gala. Were you promoted as named partner because you were carrying Mr. Gardner's child?"

Once again all eyes were on her. She inhaled trying to regain some sense of stability.

"No"

"Were you trying to cover up your relationship so that no one including your ex-husband, would suspect that you and Mr. Gardner were trying to hide the surveillance video from the proper authorities?"

"No"

"Why should we believe you?"

"Because it's the "truth"

"But these photos are clearly evidence that you were in a relationship before April, and that you haven't been completely honest here. It's my understanding that just last week Mr. Gardner convinced one of your clients to drop a case because he didn't want this article published."

"Objection," Will said standing. Elsbeth quickly stood and objected. Diane pulled Will back down to a seated position.

"Sustained," the judge said. "Mr. Jones this has gone far enough. Ask the question you really want answered and move on."

"Ms. Cavanaugh did you know that five ballot boxes were stuffed with votes for the Governor prior to the election?"

"No"

"Did you have first hand knowledge of the surveillance video depicting Jim Moody on the day of the election?"

"No"

"Have you at any point over the past seven months conspired with Mr. Gardner to hide evidence in regards to the voter fraud depicted in the presented surveillance videos?"

"No"

"No further questions at this time." The attorney turned and sat back down.

"Your honor if I could clarify a few things please?" Alicia said.

"Yes, go ahead," the judge said.

"Uh your honor," Elsbeth said, cutting in. "If I may before Ms. Cavanaugh continues. Where did Mr. Jones get these photos? Are my clients being surveilled the Federal government?"

Everyone turned their attention back to Mr. Jones. "The photos were given to us anonymously, Your Honor."

"And you're using them in court, as evidence?" Elsbeth let out a chuckle. "How do you know they haven't been doctored?"

"She has a point Mr. Jones," the judge said. "As far as I'm concerned, unless you can prove these photos are authentic, I won't allow them into evidence."

"Your honor," he protested.

"No, Mr. Jones prove these are real, and I'll allow."

"We can't at this time," he said, then sat back down.

'Ms. Cavanaugh you may be excused."

"Your honor I still have a few things I want to clarify." She looked from Will to the judge. "I want the truth to be on the record."

"I'll allow it, go ahead."

The room became silent once again. She turned her attention to Will again for support even though he sat clear across the room from her. "Alicia, you don't have too," he said.

"Yes, I do. This has to end." she said out loud, but really only to him. She bit her lip swallowing hard before continuing.

"I did not know about the ballot box video until it was shown to me by Marilyn Garbonza three months ago. At the time I had no knowledge that Will had ever seen the video. Neither he nor I have been conspiring to do anything, unless you count soliciting new clients to come to our firm as conspiring to help ourselves." Will chuckled a little under his breath. She kept an even flat tone as she continued.

"I did go home with him that night. I did stay at his apartment that night. But we were not in a relationship at the time. I told him to take me to his place so that I could avoid the reporters at my apartment. We've been friends for a number of years, and he was just trying to help me through a difficult time. He gave me a shoulder to cry on that night, but that was all. I'm the one that pushed things the following morning that led to my becoming pregnant." She managed to hold the tears in, but her voice rose in disgust as she continued.

"We did not try to abort the baby. I want that to be very clear to all of the journalists in this room." Diane had a tight grip on Will's arm and didn't even realize it. Though she and Alicia had grown close, they had kept her in the dark on this one. For Alicia, telling the story was like reliving it all over again. Nausea and cramping began to set in as she continued. Will just wanted to get her off the stand.

"We went to the hospital that day less than twenty four hours after the pregnancy was confirmed. It was an ectopic pregnancy, and I had begun to rupture on the drive to the hospital where we were planning on having the fetus surgically removed. That is the reason for Will carrying me into the hospital, I had begun to bleed and time was of the essence at that point. Mr. Jones if you would have checked your facts, you would have discovered this. There's been no conspiring here, just two people trying to deal with a tragedy, and build a law firm at the same time. If you don't have enough evidence to make a fair case then you shouldn't be here. None of us should be here." She exhaled as she finished, but didn't feel any better. The room remained silent. Will wanted to get up and go to her, but Diane still had a tight grip on his arm.

"Thank you, Ms. Cavanaugh. We will adjourn until Monday."

Everyone stood quietly and began to file out of the court room. Alicia needed a restroom and hurried past everyone to get out. Peter and Will followed quickly behind.

"Alicia, wait," Will called.

Once they were out in the hall and down from the courtroom a ways she stopped and turned as Peter, Will, Eli and Diane caught up to her. Will reached for her arm but she lifted it immediately and slapped Peter across the face. She was about to lose her nonexistent breakfast, but she was furious. Peter held his hand to his cheek as she spoke.

"How dare you!" she said, in a raised tone.

"How dare I what?" he protested.

"You're the one aren't you? You haven't trusted me for five years and you finally stooped low enough to have me followed. You couldn't let go after the divorce. You still had to know everything that was going on in my life, and continue to ruin it for me. Well I hope you're happy now Peter, because you just managed to destroy me. I will never forgive you for this."

"Uh, could we take this into a room somewhere?" Eli said noticing all of the staring eyes from on lookers.

"Alicia, I promise I had nothing to do with this," Peter protested.

Alicia turned and continued down the hall ducking into the ladies room, and closing the door to the stall. Will was angry. If this was true he was ready to rip Peter from limb to limb. Eli could sense the tension and insisted they move into an empty jury holding room across the hall.

"Diane, will you go check on Alicia for me please," Will asked. She nodded and headed to the ladies room. It appeared to be empty other than her and Alicia. She peered back out into the hall. Two of Peter's body guards were standing across the hall just outside the room where Will, Peter and Eli had gone.

"Don't let anyone in here for a few minutes", she told them. One nodded moving across the hall and stood guard.

Alicia emerged from the stall pale. She moved to the sink and splashed cold water over face. Diane handed her a few towels to dry with.

"Thank you," she said dabbing at the few droplets of water that were left. She placed her hands on the sink leaning over staring into the basin. She was past the point of wanting to cry. She took in some deep breaths to control the shakiness in her body. Diane began to run her hand along Alicia's back in a soothing fashion.

"Alicia, there's nothing I can do or say that will make this any easier."

"I know," she replied in pure resignation. She reached up and held her hand over Diane's that sat on her shoulder for a moment. She was grateful for the support and silence that Diane allowed her.

A good five minutes later she spoke up. "I don't know what to do Diane. I mean now, I don't know if can walk out of the courthouse and face all of the journalists to get to my car." She looked up at Diane through the reflection in the mirror hoping Diane could somehow snap her fingers and allow her to be anywhere but here.

"I'll walk with you. Do you need anything?"

"No, just get me out of here." As she went to turn and leave something in the mirror caught her eye, and prompted an idea. She reached up and removed the necklace that hung around her neck.

"Diane can you do something for me?"

"Yes, of course."

She held out the necklace for Diane to take. "I need you to give this to Will. Tell him I'll meet up with him later to discuss the waterfront beach case, and that he should check my deposition notes from the Atlantic Commerce case from last year. Tell him I think my notes will help him with this case."

Diane was confused, but took the necklace from her.

"I don't understand," she said.

"I know, but Will will understand." At least she hoped he'd understand.

"Okay," Diane replied.

"Thank you," Alicia said.

Diane returned to the jury holding room a few minutes later as Will was walking out.

"Where's Alicia?" he asked.

"She left," Diane said.

"You let her leave and walk through the mess of reporters on her own?" Will was about to leave to see if he could catch up to her.

"No, I walked with her on one side, Peter's body guard on the other. She's fine." Before Diane could get another word out Will brushed past her and was headed towards the exit.

"Will wait, I have something for you," Diane called, in an attempt to get him to come back, but there were too many people and she couldn't catch him in time. By the time he made it through the crowd Alicia was gone. When he got to his car he tried to call her several times on his way back to the office.

His calls didn't go through. Alicia had turned off her phone and removed the sim card as soon as she had locked the doors to her car. She didn't intend for anyone to be able to track her after she left Veronica's. She would have to live with the consequences if Will couldn't, or after their discussion from earlier didn't want to figure out where she was headed.

 **A/N; Thank you all for hanging in there! I know I keep making this worse for Alicia, but I've had the image of her on the witness stand since this story began. Things will start heading in the right direction with the next chapter, which is half written already because it was originally part of this one!**


	22. Running Away

**A/N; Thank you all for your continued support of this story! I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I've spent far too much time re-writing and stewing over it. Sometimes it's best to just get it out there.**

 _ **Running Away**_

 _An hour out of Chicago, and I wonder if I've made a mistake. Not in leaving, that was no mistake. The mistake may have been in assuming that Will will understand my encrypted message and follow after me. I could put my phone back togetherand call him, but I don't want for there to be any way to track me. I'm just grateful I knew where the spare keys to Mom's car were, and that she's out of the country for one more week._

 _I could be very naive in thinking that Will will eventually come. I may have ruined everything this morning after my poorly timed relationship dilemma discussion. And after all of the blatant reminders in court this morning of how I have been the cause of practically every wrong thing in his life over the past seven months, he may be re-evaluating more than just our personal relationship, but I'm not turning around. Even if he doesn't show up at my doorstep I need some time to figure things out without any distractions, or worry that someone might be watching my every move. Although one would hope that after my outburst with Peter he will put an end to whatever it is he's been up too. I better stop and get a potent caffeine fix I'm going to need it to get through this drive._

/

Two hours after court Diane went to find Will after having no success in getting him on the phone. She hoped that Alicia had met up with him by now, and that her message would be irrelevant at this point. As soon as she rounded the corner to his office and saw him pacing she knew he hadn't heard from her yet. She knocked on the door and entered as he turned to face her.

"Do you know where Alicia was going?" These were the first words out of his mouth after Diane closed the door. The stress in his features was evident as he stood there with his hands on his hips.

"No, I assumed home."

"She's not at home, she's hasn't been here. I've called her phone, but she has it turned off. I've called everyone I can think of and no one has seen her." He began pacing back and forth again running his hand through his hair.

"Will, it's only been two hours. She probably just needed some space."

"Diane, she wouldn't turn her phone off for two hours. She's always too concerned that something will happen to Grace and Zach and that she'll miss the emergency call." The words came out a little blunter and bitterly than he'd intended, but he was beyond worried about her at this point. "I didn't mean for that to sound like it's a bad thing. It's just that she wouldn't do something like turn off her phone such a long period."

"Will, take a few deep breaths and sit down. I'm sure Alicia's fine. And anyway, aren't you meeting up with her later to discuss a case?"

He halted his pacing and looked at her. "No, what case?"

"She gave me this to give to you," she said, holding out the diamond V shaped necklace for him. He took it from her and sat on the sofa running it through his fingers only half listening to Diane as he tried to figure out why Alicia would give this token of his love for her to Diane. He hoped it wasn't Alicia's way of putting a halt to their relationship after their brief discussion earlier that morning.

"Why did she give this to you?" he said, looking back up to Diane expecting the worst but hoping he was wrong.

"She said to tell you that you could meet up later to discuss the waterfront beach case."

"The what?" This was getting more confusing by the second.

She repeated her last sentence and then continued. "She said you should look over her deposition notes from the Atlantic commerce case last year, that it would be helpful to you on this case."

"Diane, I have no idea what that means." The frustration in him was growing deeper as he turned his attention back to the necklace.

"Well she seemed to think you would. Think Will, where were you supposed to meet later today?"

"We weren't supposed to meet anywhere. We were going to have lunch together after court, and then come back here. We don't have a waterfront beach case." As he said the words again while running the necklace through his fingers, the words suddenly seemed familiar.

"It's beautiful," Diane said, seating herself in the chair in front of him. "Do you know where it came from? Maybe it means something," she offered.

"I bought it for her when we were in..." He paused and went back to his desk. A few moments later he'd confirmed that Waterfront Beach was the name of the hotel where they'd stayed in L.A. Then a memory of the conversation they'd had on the beach the night she had arrived popped into his head.

" _If you were to really run away, where would you go for a day or two to get a break?"_ He'd asked her the question, and she had answered discretely

" _If I wanted to hide from everyone, go somewhere where there was bad cell coverage so I'd be difficult to find-Minnesota, someplace I've been fairly recently."_ Diane watched as the wheels started spinning in his mind. A few moments later he smiled and shook his head.

"Well?" Diane said, with a raised brow.

He didn't say anything but switched from the internet to the case file in question and found what he was looking for, the name of the retreat in Minnesota where she'd done her depositions with Lewis Canning. He stood up grabbing his phone and laptop and moved around his desk to leave.

"Where are you going?" Diane asked standing.

"I know where she went!" He rounded the corner to the hall, and then halted. He had another thought and returned back to his office.

"Well where is she?" Diane asked as he sat back down at his desk opening the browser on his computer once again. A broad grin crossed his lips as he answered.

"I can't tell you!" he said, as he frantically looked at outgoing flight times.

"Why not?"

"Because she…" he chuckled and looked up to Diane. "She ran away!"

Diane was confused, and found no humor in the situation. "What do you mean she _ran away_?" she said, trying to get more information from him looking concerned.

"Don't worry, I'll bring her home in a few days. You were right, she needed some space!" he said, as he found what he was searching for. He briefly glanced at his watch and got back up.

"Will there's something else I wanted to discuss with you."

"Then follow, because I need to go."

After the doors to the elevator were shut Diane started again. "Will, I'm hearing rumors."

He sighed and leant against the back paneled wall. "What?"

"That the firm is in trouble, and that people are thinking of jumping ship before its too late. That you're looking for someone to come in and buy you out or join forces with you."

"It's all rumors Diane. I wish I could find the idiot who is intent on spreading these so called rumors. We are fine, and growing, we just leased another floor in L.A. and hired five attorneys. New York is steady. There is nothing for Alicia or me to worry about."

"I'm not saying there is any truth to them, but after today, and with the rumor mill ablaze you two might need to do some damage control. You've been distracted, for good reason, but still distracted." she said, as they exited the elevator.

He paused just as he got to his car. "You think someone's trying to take us down?"

"I think someone may be trying to pull the carpet out from under your feet. You both need a break, but if I were you I'd spend some time this weekend looking over activity within the firm over the past month or so."

"You think it's someone within the firm?'

"I don't know," she said seriously. "It could be, or there could be a mole in the office doing work for someone on the outside."

"Okay, I have to go," he said.

"Tell Alicia I send her my best."

"I will, and thank you Diane."

His plan was to fly to Alicia, and then they could drive home Sunday night together. His flight into Rochester Minnesota landed at six. With any luck Alicia's five hour drive was just winding down. He had an hour drive to get to the secluded resort, but he was sure she wouldn't be expecting him for a few more hours or more, so his early arrival would be a surprise to her. The sooner he got there the sooner his anxiousness over her could be put at ease.

/

Alicia stood leaning against a tall evergreen on the shore of the manmade lake just outside her room. The sun was just starting to hide behind the tall trees that surrounded the area. It was the time of day where lake goers and hikers had gone in search of dinner and hot tubs to soak their worn limbs. It was quiet with just the rustling of leaves in the trees and the gentle laps of water hitting the shore. She turned when she heard footsteps coming towards her on the dirt path. Will paused briefly when she turned and saw him.

"Hi,' he said. The relief was etched all over him as he continued to move towards her.

"Hi," she responded. She tried to smile back, but seeing him there knowing that he loved her enough to come all this way just to be with her after everything that had unfolded during the day had caused an emotional flood to come over her. He moved closer to her and without another word he wrapped his arms around her holding her close allowing her to bury her head into his chest.

"Are you alright? I was worried sick," he said.

She pulled back a bit looking up at him. "I don't know." Tears she'd held in all day began to flow freely. He pulled her in closer as she buried her head into his shoulder again. Now safely in his arms she allowed herself to expose all of her emotions from the day.

"I was so worried you wouldn't come, that you wouldn't figure out my message, or that you wouldn't want to come," she said, looking back up to him as the tears continued to spill from her eyes.

"Wouldn't want too?" He brought his hand to her cheek brushing away some of the tears. "I would chase after you anywhere!"

She smiled and buried her head into him again. A few minutes later another couple came walking down the path. "Let's go inside, okay?" he said, putting his arm around her and turning them back in the direction of the room.

Once they were safely inside he pulled her to the sofa that sat in their room. She'd upgraded from the last time she'd been here to a suite with a view of the lake.

"I'm so angry Will," she said, through a barely audible sob. "I feel so exposed and insecure about everything right now."

"I know," he said, putting his arm around her once again. "Court today was difficult, but it's over now."

She then let spill all of the silent things she'd been thinking all day. "When are we going to stop having to live this over and over again?" she said, with a hint of anger and bitterness. "What possesses someone to follow you around and take photos? Why would Peter do something like this? He knows it will hurt the kids." She stood up from the sofa and began pacing back and forth.

"Peter didn't do it."

She chuckled under her breath. "Yes, Will, he did. It's some last attempt at getting what he wants from me. I thought I was done being a news story every other month after I divorced him. But "no" I seem to be cursed with this. We will lose clients over this. Do you know what this has probably done to our reputation?"

Will stood and put his hands on her to stop her pacing and force her to listen to him. "Alicia, I know this was bad, I'm angry too, and we're going to have to do some damage control."

"Will, they accused me of lying under oath." She pulled away from him. "When word of this gets out what judge is going to take me seriously on cases?" She moved over to the French doors that led out to their small balcony. Will moved over to her and put his arms around her.

"The smart judges, the ones that respect you and know how to read between the lines."

She didn't say anything for a few moments as she stared out at the lake.

"Listen," Will said. "It will be okay. And I talked to Peter. He really didn't have anything to do with the photos."

She looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you really going to stand there and defend Peter?" There was a brief moment of silence where they both almost wanted to laugh at the irony, but it quickly passed. "I really must be losing my mind, you agreeing with Peter." She pulled away from him. "This is it, isn't it? I'm going to spend the rest of my life in a mental institution because there is no way all of this could possibly be reality. I think I've finally gone over the edge." She sighed sitting back on the sofa putting her hand to her brow.

He smiled and sat back down next to her. "You're not crazy. All of this did happen, and I do believe Peter, as crazy as that sounds."

"I don't like feeling like this Will. I don't like feeling that I don't have control over things. I don't like everything being so up in the air. If Peter didn't do it then who did?" she said, as the tears began to fall again. "And when are they going to stop?"

He looked down at the floor wishing he could make all of this go away but he couldn't. He looked back up to her. "I don't know, but we're going to figure it out. I promise." he said, in almost a whisper. After court earlier, and after what Diane had told him he was feeling uneasy as well as he wrapped her up in his arms again.

A few hours later Will was on the phone in the living space just outside the bedroom.

"Just see if you think there is anything out of ordinary in the system and call me tomorrow." There was a brief pause. "She's sleeping now. I'm worried about her. All of this was too much today." He got up from the sofa putting his laptop on the coffee table and walked over to stare out the window. "Honestly, I'm a little concerned too." Another pause. "Okay, call me as soon as you find anything." He hung up the land line in the room and moved back to the bedroom climbing into the bed next to Alicia.

"Who was that?" she said, sleepily. She startled him some. He thought she was asleep.

"Kalinda," he said, moving closer to her and placing his arm over her to hold her. He recounted his conversation with Diane for her. And then told her he'd asked Kalinda to look into things.

"Good idea," she said, resting her head on his chest. She was to tired to get into a deep discussion.

"Yes, and we aren't going to worry about it anymore tonight. Tonight we're going to get some much needed sleep." He leaned over and pressed his warm lips to hers.

The following day news stories of Will, Alicia, Peter and the trial were spread throughout Illinois. Some stories were fair, and some were not. Will just shook his head as he pulled each Chicago paper up on his laptop. He hadn't been kidding the day before in stating they would need to do damage control.

They both knew they had two objectives over the weekend. The first was to continue to stay under the radar and relax a bit so they'd be rested and able to fight whatever lay ahead over the next weeks. The second was to try and figure out if they really had reason to worry about the firm. If so they needed to figure out what their saboteurs plan might be so they could try and fight it.

With that in mind they went for a run before they spent a few hours poring over client bills, and partner and associate work logs.

"It is "really" quiet here," Will said, looking up from his laptop over to Alicia who sat on the sofa with her laptop over her crossed legs. She laughed under her breath continuing to look over case logs.

"Yes, it is! You get used to it after a day or so," she said, shaking her head.

Will moved over and kissed her cheek then slid in next to her on the sofa. "How about if we take a break from work for awhile?" he said brushing the hair away from her neck and gently kissing it. But Alicia was caught up in what she had just found. Will stopped the light kisses realizing she was paying him no attention.

"Did you find something?" he said, turning his attention to the laptop.

"Maybe, look at this." She pointed to the screen. "No one has taken on a new case in nearly six weeks in bankruptcy, tax, or mergers and acquisitions. And no one has in family law either except for David." They both looked at each other.

"Those are our largest departments," Will said.

"Yes, and they are the ones that neither of us are over on a day to day basis."

"That can't be right," Will said, pulling Alicia's laptop onto his lap. Sure enough after he'd scrolled through the data himself he'd confirmed the same thing. "So all the profit we've brought in over the last month is from cases that are from other departements, or cases older than two months."

"Looks like it," she said. "I don't know why I didn't catch it sooner.

"Well you wouldn't have paid much attention to the dates on invoices would be my guess, and New York seems to be running at full speed."

"Yes, but we sent Julius out there two months ago, and he is loyal to us. You know what this might mean right?"

Will sighed closing his eyes and leant back resting his head on the wall behind them. "Yes, that Diane may be right. People may be planning on jumping ship. But this is worse it looks like it might be whole departments, not just a few individuals."

"Yes, we need Kalinda to look into this. And if it's true we have to cut it off at the knees," she said, standing.

"Do you think they are all planning on going together, or do you think it's just coincidence?" he said moving over to the phone.

"Could be either, which is why we need to look into it, and attempt to be one step ahead, instead of one step behind like we've been for months now."

Will called Kalinda and got her onto it. There wasn't much else they could do from their end until they got back to Chicago, so they enjoyed the rest of the day together trying to forget about work for awhile. Will convinced Alicia to go out on the lake in a canoe with him which by pure accident ended with both of them being dumped out into the water. Alicia accused Will of tipping them over on purpose, which he vehemently denied. Being dumped into the freezing cold water, and soaking wet clothes led to a long intimate warm shower and a romantic dinner.

That night as they lay in each others arms together out on the balcony in the dark quiet serene atmosphere, Will leant over and kissed the top of her head. "Leesh, about what we discussed yesterday morning." He felt her tense up a bit as she turned and looked at him.

"Yes"

"I've had a lot of time in the last thirty six hours to think about it." She watched anxiously as he let go of her and sat up more straightly. She sat up as well, and he invited her back into his grasp.

"I don't want anyone else. You're the one I want to be with. You're the one I like spending time with, laughing with, and working with. You know me better than anyone else, the good and the bad."

This was quickly becoming one of those moments where his love was causing her to hardly breathe. "Leesh, I love you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember, and I can't imagine myself with anyone else." He took her hands into his and looked down for a moment gathering his thoughts.

Despite how much his words had filled her with joy, she could tell there was still some hesitancy in him. "But," she said, squeezing his hands.

He looked back up to her. "There's no but. Alicia I would love to have a child of my own. But that is something I hadn't even considered as a possibility for me until four months ago. That being said, I have a request, and you can say no if you want. It won't change my feelings for you or my decision to stay with you."

"Alright, what is it?"

"If this does work out, if we decide one day a month from now, or a year from now that we want to be together in a more permanent way," he paused and looked out into the night sky.

"You mean permanent as in marriage?" she offered.

He turned back to her. "Yes, if we decide on that, would you be willing to give it try?" he was struggling with the whole conversation about marriage and babies because it was awkward and unchartered territory in ways.

"I mean would you be willing to…"

She smiled as a few happy tears fell from her eyes. "Would I be willing to try to bare another child for you?" She held his gaze in a way that made it impossible for him to look away.

"Yes, would you? I know it's a long shot at this point, and you already have two children, and from what I saw a few months ago pregnancy isn't very pleasant at points, and that's okay. I just…"

Before he could get another word out she pressed her lips to his to stop his ramble. After she pulled away he still looked like an anxious four year old not knowing what would come next. She nodded her head up and down and moved her hand to his cheek, then leaned forward until she was just inches from him. "Yes," she said. "I would be willing to try." He smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

The following morning she was back out on the balcony wrapped only in a sheet when Will joined her wrapping his arm around her. She could take his breath away in so many ways, but seeing the smooth pale skin of her arms and knowing she had nothing on under the white sheet really took his breath away.

"Couldn't sleep again?" he said, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"I slept fine. I haven't been awake long."

"Something is bothering you, what is it?" he said.

She leant back resting her body against his. "I don't want to go back. It's not that I won't, I'm just so tired of the mess."

He turned her slightly so she'd look at him. They had turned over a new leaf the previous night and he wanted her to see how committed he was in his statement. "I know, and when we get back we're going to figure things out, together. I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere. We are going to fight this, whatever or whoever, it is."


	23. Collateral Damage

**A/N; I apologize for the delay in posting this next chapter, I had to prep for a class I taught, and it took up all of my writing time! This is a lengthy chapter and I hope all of it makes sense as far as the scheme against Will and Alicia goes. If not let me know so I can clarify for you.**

 **Welcome to my new followers. This is a record for follows for me, and it's a real honor. As always thank you to my faithful reviewers, and everyone's continued support.**

 _ **Collateral Damage**_

In the weeks following their trip to Minnesota things either came together or fell apart, depending on which side you were on. For Alicia it was some of both. She and Will had to spend another day in court under a scrutinizing eye before it was determined they played no intentional part in the actual voter fraud scandal. In the end Jim Moody was the one the state decided to prosecute for the actual fraud. However, the whole situation cast a negative light on the state's governor. There were many voters who wanted a re-count of the ballots, and Peter's approval ratings plummeted. Alicia had no need to be concerned with Peter's political issues anymore unless it affected her children. Luckily the press had left Zach and Grace alone. By the time school would start again for Grace in the fall, all of this would hopefully be old news.

The press lingered on Alicia and Will for a good week until the excitement of it all finally died down. This only infuriated both of them. There was no evidence that any photos were still being taken of them. However, Alicia remained very cautious, and Will swore if he ever found the photographer things wouldn't go well. The heightened anxiety and stress from everything had many repercussions. Will and Alicia both fought harder in court. They kept a tight ship at the office scrutinizing every case that came across their desks. Gone temporarily, were the days of Alicia and Will caring if someone needed time off. If your work was done take all the time you wanted. If it wasn't don't even ask.

The more pleasant affect for the two was that after a long day of worrying and working, they found that some fast paced aggressive love making helped bring both down enough that they were still able to sleep at night. Just hours before Alicia woke to the sound of the shower running had been no exception. She rolled over in the bed and waited for Will to emerge from the bathroom in the early hours of the morning. She had barely been able to sleep, and knew Will had probably gotten even less sleep. They both dressed for work and drank their morning coffee in near silence. They didn't need to talk. They both knew what the other one was thinking. That no matter how the cards fell in their meeting this morning the firm would look different by the end of the day. The only question left was would they still control a large firm, or would they be left with a small employee base and a lot of empty office space? Will was not taking this attack lightly and they were both prepared to fight to the bitter end.

Will sat on the edge of the bed deep in thought as Alicia pulled on her heels then stood in front of him placing her arms around his neck. He looked up at her with a hint of anger and an extreme amount of exhaustion in his eyes, but smiled at her none the less.

"Penny for your thoughts," she said, as she began to gently massage his tense shoulders.

He placed his hands on her hips pulling her closer. "I was just thinking that no matter what happens today we will still be business partners. And instead of heading to a bar after work to drink away whatever the outcome is today, I still have someone wonderful to come home to tonight!"

She returned the smile and shifted to sit on his leg. "Can you believe they even suggested I join their little merry band of three and leave you?"

Will shook his head. "They thought you were their answer, but they got it wrong. The only thing they did by making things complicated was bring us closer together."

She smiled and cupped his face in her hands. "At least some good has come from all of this." She leaned in closer and gently kissed his lips.

After pulling away Will looked at his watch. "We better go."

They stood and headed towards the door of his apartment. "Hey Leesh," he said, as they got to the door. She turned and looked at him once again.

"I'm sorry you became the collateral damage in everyone's schemes."

"Me too, but it's over now. We won't let any of this happen again."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her one more time before leaving. "I don't deserve you," he said, pulling her in close and placing a kiss on the top of her head.

She pulled back and looked at him with a gentle smile. "You're probably right! But you're stuck with me now. If everything goes down in flames today, we go down together."

He chuckled as he opened the door. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that," he said, taking her hand as they headed for the elevator.

 **The previous day**

After Kalinda began looking into things it had become increasingly clear that it was only a matter of time before they would lose half of the firm unless they could figure out who was trying to destroy them. The three kept their investigating and knowledge of the inevitable shift of loyalty to themselves until they could come up with a solution. 

Will, Alicia and Kalinda met at a restaurant for lunch to make final preparations for the staff meeting that was set to take place the next day. The hope was that it would put the firm back on solid ground.

"We listen to their demands, and then tell them we'll take it under consideration," Alicia said.

"We should just fire all of them," Will said.

"We can't fire everyone we think is planning on leaving. We won't have a firm left," Alicia shot back.

"Yes, but if it's more money everyone wants, we can't afford raises all around," Will replied.

"What if we were to bring on another firm?" Alicia said. "It could do two things. First, we would be starting over with people who would be loyal. And second, it would prove to the associates that we aren't in trouble, and that they don't have any need to leave."

"Where are we going to get the funds to do that with?" Will leaned forward placing his elbows on the table. "We just leased more space in L.A. We spent our reserve."

"Not all of it," Alicia said, shifting her gaze from Will to avoid his questioning look.

"What do you mean not all of it?" he said puzzled.

Alicia sighed and turned back to him. "Just over a year ago after the firm dodged its huge financial crisis, Diane set up reserve account."

"She what?" he said.

"She wanted a safety net if things got bad again at some point. She didn't want to have to answer to the courts again. She didn't tell you because she knew you would think it was ridiculous. She moved three percent of the firm's year to date earnings into an account at that point. Every month since then, three percent of all the firm's profit goes into the account."

Neither Will nor Kalinda could believe what Alicia was saying, but let her continue. "Don't worry no one's bonuses have been smaller, no one's lost any money. Our accountant knows about the account, and is the one that moves the money every month. And it is added into the firms total at the end of each fiscal year. But you wouldn't know it was a reserve account unless you knew what you were looking for."

Will stared at her for a moment before responding. "So just how much money is in this account?" he asked, slightly annoyed that both Diane and Alicia had kept him in the dark.

"Well, I'd have to look, but enough to either hand out raises if we decide we want too, or enough to pay the salaries of a small firm if that's the route we decide to take."

Will sat back and shook his head. "I don't even know what to do with that information."

"Will, she didn't do it to hurt you. It was meant to be saved for a rainy day, and quite frankly it's pouring outside right now. You have to admit that if you had known the money had been there four months ago, you would have insisted we use it to expand into L.A. quicker. If we had done that we wouldn't have this little gift now when we really need it." She hoped he would understood why she had kept this secret from him.

"Okay, you're probably right," he said, with a sigh. "But that doesn't mean I have to like the fact that both of you kept it from me."

"No, it doesn't." she said calmly.

"Well if you both want my opinion, I'm betting that part of the plan was to get you two to use up all the reserve."

"And to anyone else it still looks like we have," Alicia pointed out.

"You want my opinion, I think David Lee's behind all of this," Kalinda said.

"And so do I," Alicia responded. "But I've thought that all along. I don't understand why you keep defending him Will."

Will sighed again, and took another sip of his drink before responding. "If David is behind it, then explain to me why he's the only one in family law who has brought in any business in the past two months?" he said, becoming slightly defensive.

"I don't know Will, but what I do know is that he tried to vote you out six months ago, and I haven't had a good night sleep since," Alicia said, raising her voice some as she threw her hands in the air in frustration. "I don't trust him. Think about it, he knew we would be in L.A. the week that photo was taken. He knew where we were staying, and could have easily had us followed."

"Then how did the photographer get into the restaurant? It was a private club?" Will shot back.

"I don't know, but I'm telling you David is behind this, and we should fire him." Alicia sat back and folded her arms. They both hated this, the discussions that turned into arguing for no apparent reason.

"Okay look," Kalinda said, in an attempt to bring the temperature in the room back down. "I don't think this is a one man operation. I'm suspicious of David, but someone else is behind this as well." Will seemed to be paying attention to her, but Alicia had become caught up in a thought.

"Will, what made you believe Peter wasn't behind the photos so quickly? I mean you were in that room with him at the courthouse for what-twenty minutes maybe? And how do we even know the two issues are related?"

Will and Kalinda both turned their attention back to Alicia not sure as to what she was getting at.

"We don't. It's just an assumption that whoever is behind the photos is also the one trying to ruin the firm." Kalinda said.

"There were photos of Peter in precarious situations along with the ones of us. That's what convinced me." Will said.

Alicia contemplated this for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"Remember the photos that came out the day you decided to divorce him? The photos that ended up all over the media?"

"Yes, but that was months ago," she said. "Please tell me you aren't basing your not guilty verdict on those photos alone?" she said, with a hint of sarcasm.

"No," he said seriously. "Eli had a whole file of photos that had been taken since the election. Photo's of Peter and others in his office. Someone sent them anonymously to Peter's office a few weeks ago."

"Well how do you know it's the same person that took photos of us? Once again the two could be completely unrelated." She shook her head.

"Alicia I don't know for sure. But when Peter looked me in the eye and told me he swore on lives of your children he wasn't behind it, I believed him." They held each other's gaze for a few moments.

"We need to get back to the office, and I don't want to fight with you anymore," Will finally said, breaking the silence.

Alicia's hardened features softened. "Okay, I don't want to argue with you either," she said, turning her lips up into a smile. They got lost in their own little world for a moment.

"Okay, I'll just leave you two alone now," Kalinda said, as she got up to leave. Will quickly turned to her.

"Sorry! We can go now."

They all stood. Will took Alicia's hand and they headed out of the restaurant. They stopped in front of their cars and Alicia turned to face Will. "I have to go back to court. Can Kalinda ride with you?"

"Yes," he said, as he leaned in closer pulling her in. "I'll see you later," he said, placing a soft kiss on her lips. After he pulled away she looked at him once again.

"I don't like fighting over this ridiculous charade."

"I don't either, but I think it will be over tomorrow," he said running his hand along her arm one more time and giving her one last peck on the cheek.

"Hey," Kalinda suddenly yelled out. Will and Alicia both turned as Kalinda walked past them and headed towards a car a few slots down. Will and Alicia followed. The man in the car was just getting out of his vehicle as Kalinda approached.

"Did you just take a photo of my two friends here?" she said, confronting him.

The man brushed past her but turned as he stepped onto the sidewalk. "Yes," he said very matter-a-factly. Before anyone had a moment to react Will grabbed him and had him pinned against the brick wall of the shop that sat just feet away from them.

"Who are you?" he said, pressing the man more firmly against the wall. "Are you the one that's been following us?" Will was just inches from his face. The adrenaline was pumping through him. It took Alicia a few moments to react to what was happening.

"Mr. Gardner, please let go of me," the man said, but Will didn't back down.

"I'm only going to ask you one more time before I call the police and have you arrested for stalking. Who are you?"

"Let go of me and I'll tell you." The man didn't seem phased at all as if he was expecting this reaction. Will held a stern gaze on him as Alicia walked up and placed her hand on Will's arm.

"Will, let go," she said, holding her hand to his arm, and looking right into his eyes.

He glanced at her briefly before turning his attention back to the man in front of him. "This is your last chance," he said sternly.

"Will," Kalinda said. A small crowd of people had begun to gather around them.

"I'm a private investigator. I've been hired to follow you," the man said with a hint of desperation suddenly realizing Will wasn't about to back down.

"For how long have you been following us?"

"Since November."

"Who do you work for?" Will continued to hold a tight grip on the man.

"I don't know," the man said turning to look at Alicia, hoping she might take pity on him and get Will to loosen his grip. He turned back to Will when he realized Alicia wasn't about to have any sympathy for him.

"It was all arranged online. I never met the client. Once I send the photos and my notes to an online account, my fee is transferred to my bank account."

"That's a hell of way to make a living, destroying people's lives," Will said.

Alicia could sense the situation was about to escalate.

"Will let him go," she said once again.

He turned his gaze to her for a moment. "Alicia, I should rip this guy apart."

She placed her hand to his arm once again. "Believe me Will I feel the same way, but that's exactly what whoever hired this guy wants. Can't you see that? Whoever's behind this probably knows about the staff meeting tomorrow. They probably told this guy to come today so you'd beat him up, and get arrested so that you would miss the meeting in the morning." She was nearly pleading with him. "There are people right here who I'm sure wouldn't think twice about taking a few shots of you throwing punches at a guy who hasn't done anything visible to provoke you."

Will looked around and realized for the first time that it wasn't just the four of them standing there anymore. He pressed the man hard against the wall one more time before he let go and backed up.

Alicia moved in between the two facing the man who'd taken the earlier photo. She moved just inches from his face. "You tell whoever it is you work for to stop being such a coward. I want a meeting with them today. If they don't show up, if they keep playing this sick game, I'll file charges against you personally. And you don't want to find out how many ways I can think of to keep you in court and in jail for years." She backed up when she had finished.

"You don't even know my name. How will even find me?"

Kalinda stepped in front of him holding open his wallet to his driver's licensee. "We do know your name, and your address, and your birth date. Do what she says or the police will be on your doorstep in a matter of days." She held out the wallet for him. He took it and the three turned around and left. .

The office had quieted down later in the evening as Alicia sat working in her office when Will entered. "How did it go this afternoon?"

She looked up and smiled. "Good! I think I'm going to win this one. Mr. Canning didn't seem to have an answer for the evidence I presented today." She sat back in her chair turning her gaze to him. "Honestly, I think he'll be calling before court tomorrow to settle."

Will stood in front of her desk. "Well good, because you know how much fun celebrating a win can be!" he said, raising his brow to her.

"I... do..." her gaze had moved from him to the hall. She stood and Will turned to see what had caught her attention. As he turned, Lewis Canning entered her office. Will moved to stand next to her as he drew closer.

"Mr. Canning," Alicia greeted him. "Did your client agree to my offer?" she said, folding her arms across her chest.

"I think they will, but that's not the reason I'm here."

She briefly glanced at Will then turned back to Canning. "Then what can I do for you?"

"You tell me, you're the one that requested a meeting with me earlier today," he said, placing his hands in his pockets.

Alicia chuckled. "No I..." Will figured it out a split second before Alicia did and took a step forward, but Alicia stopped him from moving any further by grabbing onto his arm.

"You," Will was cut off before he even had a chance start the string of words that were on the tip of his tongue when David Lee and Burl Preston entered Alicia's office.

"Now Alicia I know your upset, but you need to understand something," Mr. Canning continued as the other two men came to stand next to him.

"Understand something," she said, raising her voice. "There is absolutely nothing for me to understand other than the fact that you have drug our lives, and reputations through the mud the past six months. And let me guess, you convinced these two idiots to go along with your little scheme."

Will was on the edge of his toes ready to pounce at any moment, but he was enjoying the tongue lashing Alicia was dishing out. She didn't let anyone say a word for a few more minutes as she carried on her rant. She paused briefly taking a deep breath a few minutes later before continuing.

"Why? I don't understand why. You didn't just have the nerve to come in and tell Will and me what you wanted? And why us? There are a hundred other firms in Chicago you could have gone after."

"Yes, but they aren't the biggest, and our plan was destroyed the day you decided to stay at Lockhart Gardner. Alicia you got in the way. You were never meant to be a part of this."

"A part of what?" Will said. "What exactly was your plan?" he said, moving closer to the three men.

"Will, you and Diane had built one of the largest, most profitable firms in Chicago. You had expanded into New York successfully, and were close to expanding into L.A. But see, I, we," he said, pointing to the other two men standing next to him. "We don't like you Will, and quite frankly we want to be the ones running the best firm. The three of us have formed our own firm. It will be official by end of business tomorrow. We are now Preston, Canning & Lee. Will, you were never supposed to remain as name partner. With Diane gone it was going to be easy to push you out. But instead of appointing David as name partner, you asked Alicia, and doing that made our job both more difficult and easier at the same time. Who knew the investigator we hired to follow Will had also been hired by someone who was out to destroy Alicia's husband?"

"What?" Alicia said, shocked.

"Yes, you heard me right. And due to the fact that so many of the photos our investigator took were relevant to both cases we all got copies of all of the photos he took. Your ex-husband got himself into quite a mess. Some of the photos that were certainly only meant for Peter's undoing solidified the fact that we had to find ways to tear you and Will apart."

Alicia shook her head in anger. "Yes, awful, spiteful things that you thought would make me lose my trust in Will. Make me angry at him, so angry that when you came in to sweep up the firm it would be an easy decision for me let go. Is that about right?"

"We are going to sue all of you," Will said pointing his finger at all three. "I trusted you David, I trusted Burl, but obviously I was the fool. You're the one who got the investigator access to the restaurant when Alicia and I were in L.A. weren't you?" he said, pointing to Burl.

"Yes, and showing you around, making arrangements for you to lease space in my building, gaining your trust, it worked out well for me," he said smugly. "But we haven't broken the law in any way. There is nothing for you to sue us over. Everything we've done is well within the law."

"What about the photos?" Alicia said.

"We didn't publish any of the photos, we didn't send any of them to the press, or hand any of them over to the feds." David said.

"Are you kidding me!" Alicia said, rolling her eyes.

"No, in fact you can check all you want, but you won't find that any of them were sent from our account. In fact you'll find that they were deleted from our account just minutes after they were received every single time. We didn't need the photos, we just needed the story behind them to get the results we wanted. Alicia we like you. You just happened to be the collateral damage to Peter, and well, Will's undoing."

Alicia was furious. She pushed a few buttons on her phone. "Yes, this is Alicia Cavanaugh on the twenty eighth floor. I need four security guards up here now." She hung up the phone.

"David you're fired," Will said, moving closer to the three men.

"I'll need you to give me your phone so we can check it for Gardner Cavanaugh work product. We'll have it sent to you once we're done with it."

"You can't fire me without a vote of the equity partners, and it's too late to call a meeting tonight. Most of them have gone home." David shot back.

"Then we'll do it tomorrow. Now give me your phone or I'll have these security guards take it from you," Will said, glancing over to

the guards that had just appeared in the doorway. David reluctantly handed over his phone. 

"Now get out of my office, all of you." Alicia said sternly.

"But don't you want to know what the plan is?" Lewis Canning said. "We're here to make Alicia an offer."

"You mean make Will and I an offer," Alicia said.

"No, just you," Canning replied. "Alicia, we want you to join us. Make our firm your firm. All you have to do to keep your employees is vote Will out tomorrow. You keep the firm, and none of your largest departments jump ship to join us because we'll be one firm. Your other option is that we will take family law, mergers and acquisitions, tax, and thanks to Will's big win last month, sports law with us. That will leave you two in financial trouble. You'll be out of business in about six months we figure. Our big clients are tired of being sued by and losing to you. And quite frankly we're all just greedy. We want to be the biggest firm in the nation. You two were surely on your way to making that happen, but it's over for Will, and it will be for you too Alicia depending on your decision."

"You won't get away with this," Will said, with a clenched jaw pointing his finger at them.

"We already have Will," David responded.

Will turned to the two security guards that were still waiting. "Escort these men out of the building. And make sure they don't remove anything from these offices on their way out."

The three turned and left Alicia's office followed by the security guards.

"Call Kalinda, we need her and our best IT guy here now," Will said, turning back to Alicia.

"We have some work to do tonight. We need our whole online system shut down now. No one gets access to any files or their offices until after the meeting tomorrow. We are officially closed to business until further notice. We have to make plan. I am not losing this firm."


	24. The Upper Hand

**The Upper Hand**

All of the equity partners were gathered in the conference room. All associates that weren't going to court later in the day were told to stay home until after lunch. There was a security guard posted at every hall of the three floors that belonged to Gardner & Cavanaugh. The previous night letters of termination of employment had been prepared for everyone that Will and Alicia suspected was thinking of leaving the firm.

Canning, Lee and Preston had planned the exit well. July 1 would be the beginning of the new fiscal year for the firm. Everyone who worked through June 30 would qualify for their respective year end bonuses. Those employees who decided to leave would take that money with them if a merge of the two firms was not agreed upon. But Will and Alicia finally had the upper hand, at least they hoped. It was currently June 29.

Will and Alicia were in Will's office making final preparations for the meeting as Lewis Canning, and David Lee made their way to the conference room. Will sighed as he and Alicia stepped to the door of his office.

"Will, have a little faith in our employees," Alicia said, as she turned and faced him. She smiled up at him in an attempt to calm his nerves. He'd done his best to keep his cool over the past fourteen hours, but the anger was written all over his features.

"I don't know Alicia. I don't have faith in anything anymore."

"Not even me?" she said, with a raised brow and gentle smile. He returned the gesture placing his hands on her arms. .

"I don't need faith in you! I already know exactly where you stand."

They both turned and looked into conference room. It was filled to capacity. "Well here goes nothing," Alicia said, grabbing the doorknob.

"That didn't sound reassuring," he said as they stepped into the hall.

* * *

Will and Alicia stood at the front of the room. David and Lewis were next to them. "You've all been made aware of the reason for this meeting." Alicia started out. "As you are all well aware David Lee was asked to step down from his position last night. He and his associates have formed a new firm, and have asked that we merge our two firms into one. Will and I are well aware that if we don't merge many of you are considering leaving with David. Since the decision of a merger, as stated in our by laws, has to have the consent of a majority vote of the equity partners, we will take a vote. But I'd ask that you all consider a few things before making your final decision.

Many of you in this room have worked at this firm for several years. In the nearly six years that I have worked here many of you have seen, and accused me at times, of being favored and getting an inside scoop on things. That isn't all false. I have at times over the years been privy to many conversations dealing with the day to day runnings of the firm. Because of that, I know for a fact that Will has always held the interest of this firm first. He's always held _your_ interest first. Letting people go a few years back was a difficult decision for both he and Diane. It's because of Will that Derek Bond didn't take over the firm a few years back and fire all of you then. Will has worked day and night to keep this firm a float in an economy a few years back that was awful. Yes, the ride has been bumpy over the years, but at the end of the day this firm, Will's firm, has been good to all of you. The reason I bring this up is simply this. If we merge there is a plan in place to vote Will out. And from what I've gathered David has the votes to do so. But I want all of you to know this. If you vote Will out you vote me out as well."

There were a few gasps in the room, and David and Lewis didn't look to happy either.

"Will and I will happily take our clients, including the firm's top three clients with us and start over."

"You can't do that," David said.

Alicia chuckled, "Oh yes David we can. We've already talked to Neil Gross, Lemond Bishop, and Colin Sweeny, and they have all agreed to and signed a one year retainer agreement with Gardner and Cavanaugh no matter where our office happens to be located."

David was about to start a confrontation, but Lewis held him back.

"Let's just take the vote Alicia," Lewis said.

"But don't you want to know what else I have to say?" she said with a sly smile that caused Will to chuckle to himself.

"No, let's just vote."

"Are there any questions before we vote?" Will said.

A hand rose in the back. "Yes, Tom."

"It was our understanding that the firm is in financial trouble which is why we needed the merge. Is that false?"

"Yes," Alicia said.

"We are not in financial trouble. However, Will and I have come to the conclusion that we tried to expand somewhat to quickly." This next part made Will sick, but he knew it was necessary if they were to survive. "As of last night we have closed our L.A. office." David and Lewis again looked shocked.

"You what?" David said.

Alicia turned to him. "We closed our office in L.A. David."

"But you have an expensive lease on the space there," he retorted.

"Not anymore. Later today we will be signing our lease over to a different firm. We have invited any of the ten employees in L.A. to join Will and I here when the dust settles. We plan on keeping the New York office open. It has grown and done well so far." For the first time in years David Lee was speechless.

Alicia turned back to the group. "Okay, all those in favor of merging with Preston, Canning & Lee please raise your hands."

The vote was close, closer than Will or Alicia would have liked. But the merger would not take place. After the vote the room was quiet as Will took over the meeting..

"Now that that is settled, we do have a few things we need to discuss. David you and Mr. Canning are excused."

"You two aren't out of hot water yet," David said. "We are still coming after you and your clients."

"We welcome the competition David. Now get out of our office!" Will said. David and Lewis turned and left the room as Will continued.

"Any of you planning on leaving with those gentlemen are welcome to go, but on your way out make sure you get your letters of termination from Kalinda." He pointed to Kalinda who was standing at the door. "You are all fired. We have letters for any of the associates that were planning on leaving as well, and will get those to them. You need to leave your phones with the security guard and we will have them and any personal items left in your offices sent to you once we have removed any Gardner Cavanaugh information from them."

"Any of you that were thinking of leaving but are considering staying on two more days just to collect your bonuses that isn't going to work. We are happy to keep any of you that wish to stay with us, but it's in our best interest to have everyone sign new employment contracts, and the beginning of the fiscal year is the perfect time to do so. The new contracts will include a new signing bonus on top of your year end bonuses. The contract also includes a three year commitment to us. Anyone not willing to sign the new contract will be fired if you were planning to go with David, and we know who you are. Those of you who are not on our list but don't wish to sign on for the three years will be laid off and you can collect unemployment until you find new employment. We are committed to you and we expect the same in return. Those of you wishing to leave please go now."

It was time for Will and Alicia to hold their breaths. There was still the possibility that they would be left with a lot of empty office space at the end of the day and have to rebuild. It was the moment of truth. It was time to find out how many department heads would betray them, and how many associates would follow. It was no surprise to anyone when everyone in family law all got up and left the room. Bankruptcy followed, as did tax. But corporate law held firm. It seemed that Will's willingness to help them out over the previous holiday rush had scored him some points, and some much needed loyalty. Most everyone in litigation, civil, criminal, and intellectual property all stayed. Even though they had lost three of their largest departments they would still be considered a large all services firm at the end of the day.

Once those leaving had gone Will continued. "You may all return to your offices and take some time to look over your new contracts. You have an hour to sign them. Please contact any associates under you and get them to sign theirs as well. Once we have all the new contracts the network will be turned back on. I would encourage you to all contact your clients. We will have to do some damage control for a few days. Finally, Alicia and I would like to thank all of you for your loyalty. Know that it hasn't gone unnoticed."

After everyone had left the room both Will and Alicia heaved a huge sigh of relief.

"We did it!" Alicia whispered.

"We did!" Will looked down at his watch. "What do you say we get back to our real jobs! I've had enough of this investigation stuff to last me a lifetime!"

"Sounds good! Let's leave the investigating up to Kalinda from now on! I have to go quash Canning in court in a few hours if he doesn't call and agree to my settlement offer!" Alicia said.

Will chuckled. "That should be a fun conversation!" he said sarcastically. They both headed for the door. Will paused before they exited.

"I think this calls for a celebration!" he said, turning to her.

"Dinner?" she said, with a raised brow.

"Sure! Your place or mine?"

"I think we should go out!" she said.

"To a real restaurant? In public?" he said with a smile.

"Yes, in public! And I think I might even let you hold my hand, _in public_!" she said, moving closer to him.

"I think I could get used to these new dating rules!" he said smiling, as he pulled her in closer.

"Then we can go to your place to continue the celebrating!" she said.

"That's the best plan I've heard all morning!" he said placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. They stood there for a few more moments caught up in each other before heading back to their offices.

That night as they walked together towards the elevator of the office Alicia paused in front of the Gardner & Cavanaugh sign. "It took twenty years but we really did it didn't we?" she said, turning her gaze to Will. He nodded. "We did, I always knew you would make the best partner!" She smiled as he took her hand and they headed towards the elevators.

 **A/N; I hate to say it, but this one is coming to an end. I only have one more chapter after this one. Thank you so much to everyone for your continued support. Good wife fans are the best!**


	25. Partners for Life

The six months following David Lee's exit weren't easy for Will, Alicia and the firm. While the firm was left standing, it took four months to get back onto stable ground where they weren't in some danger of losing everything. They didn't lose many clients in the process, but gaining new ones proved difficult. It took awhile for people to forget the alleged voter fraud, and Will and Alicia's non participation in the scheme. Headlines are often soon forgotten, but photos had a way of lingering in peoples minds.

Working together as professional partners would always be the right decision for the pair, but it wasn't always simple and it never would be. Their two strong independent personalities got them into some occasional disagreements over the firm's future, and clients. But in the end after a sometimes lengthy healthy argument had been resolved, they knew they wouldn't have it any other way. It certainly wouldn't be as much fun if they always agreed.

During the six months as summer turned to autumn, and autumn turned to the early days of winter their personal relationship grew stronger. It became more comfortable. Alicia finally stopped looking over her shoulder every time they went somewhere together. She stopped eyeing everyone in a restaurant before even sitting down at their table. As the days grew shorter the work load increased which was good news for the firm, and in ways was good for their personal relationship as well. It forced them to make a point of spending time together doing things that weren't work related. Will spent more time at her place when Grace was around. Alicia spent more time at Will's when Grace wasn't. The two did more and more couple things together during these autumn months. They would go to movies, take long walks along Lake Michigan. Will even convinced Alicia to take a ride with him on the ferris wheel at Navy Pier, and even managed to get her to watch the entire final game of the world series with him. In return Will agreed to take her to the theatre.

Thanksgiving rolled around and Alicia was introduced to Will's sisters. Will was almost regretting the meeting by the end of the evening. It turned into two women telling every embarrassing story they could think of about him, and the other woman laughing so hysterically at the stories that she'd been brought to tears. Later that evening when they were curled up in bed together Alicia was still chuckling at some of the comments from the evening. Will vowed that he would get all the dirt on her out of Owen and Veronica the next day. She stopped her chuckles at the statement.

December came with its usual freezing temperatures and heavy snowfall. The two had been working long hard hours on a case against Preston, Canning & Lee. The case went to trial just two weeks before Christmas. It was their first meeting since the fallout. If Will and Alicia could win this case it would make them a lot of money, and hopefully prove to the opposing firm that they were definitely still in the business of destroying their competition.

A few days before Christmas they were in Alicia's office working on prep for trial. Will was sat at the couch with files spread over the coffee table, Alicia was sitting at her desk with her heals off. Her attention had turned to Will. She loved to watch him work. Watch the wheels spinning in his mind. She smiled as he took the pen from his lips and made some notes on the pad in front of him. She turned her chair towards the windows to grab another file she needed and paused something in the darkened Chicago skyline caught her attention. She stood and moved towards the window to get a better look.

A few minutes later Will closed the file he was working on and set his pen down. This was a tricky case, and had taken more hours than they had expected to spend on it. They wanted to get as much of it done as possible before the holiday so they could take a few days off. He was tired and ran his hands through his hair as he turned his attention to Alicia. Just as she had been watching him moments earlier, he sat and watched her for a few moments. He loved the pose she was in arms crossed over her chest and one finger lifted to her chin deep in thought.

"I'm tired. Let's go home and get some sleep," he said, as he stood and walked over to her placing his hands on her shoulders.

She nodded but didn't move. "This office has a good view of the city."

"Yes, it does," Will said looking out at the same view. "Hey look, you can see the Christmas tree in Daley Plaza from here," he said, pointing out the window.

"Yes, it caught my attention as well. It's only a few blocks away."

"I guess I never noticed it before."

Alicia turned to face him placing her hands on his chest. "Well I can't imagine you ever had reason to come into Diane's office just to take in the view, and I doubt you can see it from your office. It's at the wrong angle," she said, rising up on her toes to kiss him. After she pulled away she had a thought. "Let's walk over and see tree before we go home."

Will chuckled. "It's ten at night and twenty five degrees outside and you want to go for a walk?"

"Yes," she said with exaggeration as she pulled away from him and went to put her shoes back on. "It's not that far, and the crowds will be gone!" she said, pulling her coat on. Will didn't move. He was stuck between fighting his need for sleep, and staring in awe at Alicia who at this moment held a smile on her lips that made him adore and love her spontaneity more than he could have ever imagined. She wasn't one for spontaneity too often and he wasn't about to say no. Once he agreed they bundled up and headed towards the plaza.

Alicia did most of the talking on their way. Will listened, and answered only if he needed too enjoying the cold air and the warmth of her gloved hand in his. His thoughts had been turned from their case and the headline news of the day to something else that had been distracting him over the past week. Once they got to the plaza they stood in front of the enormous tree gazing at all the lights for a few minutes. It was beautiful illuminating the street with the fresh blanket of snow from the previous day. They stood in silence for a few minutes before Alicia spoke up again.

"Peter and I used to bring the kids here for the parade and lighting ceremony every year," she said, looking up to the top of the tree shaking her head. "The last time we were here was the holiday before…" She paused as her thoughts wandered back in time. Will watched as her smile faded just above the dark blue scarf she had wrapped around her neck. He put his arm around her and pulled her in close. She reached up and took his hand that was on her shoulder.

It was in moments like this that hit her every so often where Will could almost see the memories flashing through her mind. It hit a sore spot that was buried deep inside of her. Something he knew would always be there, the hurt and the original betrayal that had turned her life upside down six years earlier and had tainted some of her happy memories. It was in moments like these where he wished he could take that last bit of hurt away from her, and make the bad memories go away. But he couldn't. And even though he lingered on it longer, she just seconds later shook her head and smiled pushing the painful memory back deep down inside of her. He continued to watch her with his arm around her as she told him about how Grace had reacted to the lights when she was three and finally old enough to be placed in awe at the sight. And how at age ten Zach had informed them he was too old to come to a parade. Thoughts of her children could always bring her good mood back. After about ten minutes she turned to him and asked if he was ready to leave. He didn't say anything, but continued to look at her.

"Hey is everything okay? You've been really quiet tonight," she said, turning to fully face him. He pulled away from her grasp and looked around for a minute. Alicia followed his gaze to nowhere in particular. It was fairly quiet being so late in the evening. He smiled and turned his gaze back to hers taking her hand.

"Yes, everything's perfect," he said. She continued to stare at him making sure everything really was okay as a light snow began to fall.

"We should go," she said, looking up at the night sky. She turned and took his other hand trying to pull him in the direction of the office, but he didn't move. She turned back and looked at him.

"Alicia," he said with a gentle tone.

"Yes," she said, moving back in front of him.

"Marry me" Everything around them seemed to fade away as he looked into her eyes and the snow continued to gently fall. Her smile turned a look of shock. They'd talked about marriage, but they hadn't _talked,_ about it. He hadn't planned on asking her, not tonight standing near the light of the tree with the snow gently falling down on them. But as he'd watched her standing there in the gentle glow of the night it felt like the right time.

"Will, I..." She honestly didn't how to respond. She didn't know if he was serious. Deep down she knew she wanted him to be serious. He'd brought her more happiness in the past year then she could have imagined, despite everything that had gone wrong. And he'd stuck by her side. He hadn't cowered away when things got tough. As she stood there looking at him she thought certainly he hadn't planned this little walk, it had been her idea, and he didn't have a ring. But then she watched in more awe as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small black box. Her head began to spin as she inhaled and cupped her mouth in her hands as he held it in his hand. He'd seemed nervous just moments before, but then he shook his head and smiled all his confidence streaming through him once more.

"Grace and Zach are going to kill me," he said, looking back up to her. He moved closer to her as he opened the box that held a beautiful diamond set among some smaller ones on a simple but elegant band.

"Grace and Zach knew you were going to propose? Tonight?" she said, looking from the ring to him in confusion. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that he had a ring. To say she was surprised was a complete understatement.

Will smiled sheepishly. "Yes, who else was I going to ask if it was alright for me to marry you? We had it all planned out. I was going to ask you on Christmas Eve. Zach was going to find this wrapped under the tree. Then you'd open it and well, I'd pop the question."

Alicia smiled and shook her head. Will returned the smile, and pulled the ring from the box. The snow continued to fall around them. They were practically the only ones in the area at that moment. "Alicia, I had a whole speech prepared, but most of it seems irrelevant now." He looked down at the ground for a brief moment then looked back up into her eyes. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want us to come here every year as a reminder of this night. I want to spend the rest of my life with you not just as your business partner, but as your life partner, your best friend. Marry me!" he said, taking her hands into his.

Tears had already started to spring from her eyes as she leaned in under the gentle snowfall and cupped his face in her hands. "Yes, I will marry you!" she said, then pressed her warm lips to his. After they pulled apart he smiled again his nerves having been put at ease. She smiled wiping at the tears as he removed the glove that covered her left hand. Then he placed the ring on her finger becoming emotional himself.

Once the ring was in place he leaned over placing his forehead to hers. "I will always love you!" he said.

"And I will always love you!" she said, and kissed him one more time.

/

Five months later on a warm breezy sunny afternoon in the May the two were married in a small intimate ceremony along the shores of Lake Michigan. The two committed to each other for life in the gentle spring breeze. Only their families, a few close co-workers and friends had been invited. Following the small dinner and reception after the ceremony the two took a much needed two week honeymoon break at a secluded resort in the British Virgin Islands.

By July and the one year anniversary of the firm fall out they had managed to start a new family law and bankruptcy department. The firm was on stable ground once again and they were looking into opening an office up in D.C. They decided it made more sense to expand from one end of the country and make their way towards the other in time.

Alicia now in her mid forties, with the previous ectopic pregnancy, and her diagnosis of hyperthyroidism, she and Will decided that the best way for them to have a child of their own was to use a surrogate. They had found a surrogate they both liked, and in one weeks time she was to be implanted, and hopefully bear them a child.

Just one week before the procedure on a hot July afternoon Alicia had gone in to see her endocrinologist for a routine blood test all had gone well. But the doctor had called her the next day and told her she and Will both needed to come see her. The anxiety in both of them during the next five hours before the appointment was palpable. Just when things seemed to be going so well they hoped they weren't in for another whirlwind of bad news.

They sat nervously across the desk from doctor in the small office in the late afternoon.

"I received your blood test results back this morning."

"Yes, we know," Alicia said.

"Your thyroid levels are fine." Will and Alicia both looked at each other exhaling some of the anxiety, and then turned back at her. Will tightened his grip on Alicia's hand. They were braced for the worst.

"That's good, so what's the problem then?" Alicia asked.

"Alicia, how have you been feeling?"

Alicia looked to Will again. "Fine, why?"

"The test results show that you're pregnant." The doctor let the words hang long enough for the two to process them. Alicia and Will both looked at each other in shock as the anxiety crept back in. The same thought was crossing both of their minds. _Was this for real? What if the same thing happens again? What if we lose this baby too?_

It was almost to much to take in and Alicia shifted uncomfortably in her chair tightening her grip on Will's hand. "I'm what?"

"The results show that you're pregnant. You need see your OB/GYN as soon as possible to confirm, and make sure the fetus is alright. We can control the thyroid issues with medication, but I know your history with the last pregnancy, and if you really are pregnant a few precautions need to be taken.

As soon as they left the office Alicia set up an appointment for an ultrasound the following day. They were both excited and scared to death. Will couldn't help but stare down at her stomach that was covered with one of his old t-shirts that night as they lay in bed together. It had been a quiet evening. They had too much on their minds to go back into work, and too much on their minds to have much of a conversation in the hours at home before bed. They didn't need words. Will helped her prepare dinner, she helped him wash the dishes afterwards in near silence. But the intentional brushes of his hands to her shoulders and back during the process was both meant to comfort her, and reassure both of them.

As they lay there in the quiet of their bedroom with only the dim light from the moon Alicia couldn't keep her thoughts in any longer. "What if it's not okay? What if it's just like before?" she said, shifting in the bed to place her head on his chest.

Will began running his fingers through her hair. "Then we'll get through it again. And we can still use the surrogate."

"I don't know if I can take the heartbreak again Will."

He placed his arm tighter around her. "We can, everything's going to be alright either way, I promise."

The following day Will held onto Alicia's hand as the sonographer prepared to do the ultrasound. As the technician placed the cold cream onto Alicia's stomach then placed the monitor and began searching for the fetus. Alicia closed her eyes squeezing Will's hand tightly silently pleading that this baby would be resting comfortably in her womb. She was concerned since she'd finally done the math, and realized that she was probably already eight to ten weeks along and hadn't had bad bouts of morning sickness. In the past this had been a sure sign for her that she was pregnant. Deep down she wondered if the ultrasound would show nothing and that this had all been a false alarm.

Will's eyes were focused on the monitor and he held his breath as the technician searched for their child. An agonizing few moments later Alicia finally heard and recognized the faint sound of a heartbeat. The baby was alive, but was it where it should be? She continued to hold her eyes shut. Finally the technician pointed to monitor

"There it is." Alicia still couldn't force her eyes open let alone look over to the monitor. "There's your baby settled quite comfortably right where it belongs." Will let out the breath he'd been holding and tears sprang from Alicia's eyes.

"You're sure?" Will asked, as he looked into Alicia's eyes and ran his thumb across her fingers.

"I'm sure!" she said smiling over to them.

Alicia's tears continued at a slow stream as the technician checked everything. With their fear put at ease the technician continued to point out some of the barely recognizable features on the small fetus turning the appointment into a moment that Alicia had hoped Will would someday experience into a reality. When they were done the baby was given a clean bill of health. Alicia's medications were adjusted and she was told to take it easy.

When they got home Alicia collapsed into Will's arms as they sat on the couch. He wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly. A few minutes later she pulled away from him. "I can't believe its okay," she said.

"See I told you it would alright!" A gentle smile crossed his lips as he leaned over kissing her forehead.

"Are you happy?" she asked him.

"I'm ecstatic!" he said with a huge grin. "I'm going to be Dad! I still can't wrap my head around that!"

"Well you have some time to get used to the idea!" Alicia said as she leaned in to kiss him.

"What do we do now?" he asked.

"Now we wait! And get as much sleep as possible, because when this little one arrives there will not be much sleeping ever again."

They both chuckled. Alicia was excited, but knowing what would come with a newborn in the house was exhausting to think about. She sighed and leaned up against him closing her eyes.

"Do you need anything?" he asked gently wrapping his arms around her.

"No"

"Okay but I'm not going to let you run yourself ragged this time around. You have to rest when you need too. Stay home from work if you need too."

"Will, I'm fine. You are not going to try and tell me what I should and shouldn't do for the next nine months are you?" she said, lovingly but with a hint of sternness in her tone.

He chuckled. "No, as long as you don't push yourself to hard."

"I think I can agree to those terms!" she said smiling as she rested her head against him. "We should wait to tell everyone, just in case," she said, glancing back up to him.

"Yes, we should. It will be our little secret for awhile."

/

Pregnancy was kind to her over the next few months. While she did on occasion have bouts of nausea it wasn't frequent like it had been before, and it usually only occurred when she was exhausted from working too much and didn't get enough to eat. After that had happened a few times Will made sure she ate and rested at frequent intervals until the morning sickness had subsided. Because it had been labeled a high risk pregnancy she had to go in to see the doctor frequently, but things continued to look good.

The months passed with ease, the only noticeable change between the pair was the growing bump on Alicia's stomach. It didn't slow her down much at work, but Will spent a healthy amount of time at night massaging her swollen feet and aching back. The way he looked at her now was different. He found her even more beautiful than before which he didn't even think was possible. As the due date drew closer they decided to move into their own place instead of her apartment. They would need more room with the addition to the family, and decided on a house in a nearby Chicago suburb, with a view of the lake, and excellent schools. Alicia was only slightly concerned with the fact that Will had already planned out the first twenty three years of this child's life. When moving day rolled near at the end of January, Will insisted he and Owen could move everything to the new place. But when he saw all the boxes, and a huge snow storm hit a week before moving day, he decided Alicia was right, and they hired movers.

In early April the baby was due within the next few weeks. Alicia was in the office busy with work one afternoon when the contractions started. Figuring she still had a good few hours before they needed to head for the hospital she didn't try to pull Will out of court, thinking he would be done for the day soon anyway. But thirty minutes after the contractions had begun they were getting stronger and occurring at closer intervals. Feeling a sense of urgency, and quite frankly pain, she sent Will a text message, and tried to call. Ten minutes later there hadn't been a response. Luckily Kalinda was there.

"I need you go get Will," Alicia said, as another contraction hit, and she tried to breathe through the pain holding onto her desk.

"Alicia we need to get you to the hospital," kalinda said, with a sense of urgency.

"I know, but I can't drive like this, and I don't want to go alone."

"Cary is in the other room deposing one of our clients. He could go get Will, and I'll take you to the hospital," Kalinda said, as she walked out of Alicia's office and into the conference room.

A few moments later the pair reappeared in her office. Alicia looked over to Cary. "Cary, I've never been so happy to see you! Will you please go pull Will out of court for me?" she asked, as another contraction hit.

"Yeah, I'm on it," he said rushing out, realizing urgency in the situation.

"Tell him to hurry!" Alicia called after him. "I don't think this kid is going to wait much longer before it heads for daylight." She stood from her desk and followed Kalinda to the elevators.

By the time they made it to the hospital Alicia's contractions were just two minutes apart. "I'd forgotten how much this hurts," she said, as they made their way into the maternity wing of the hospital. The nurses paged her doctor and got her prepped for delivery. She was fully dilated fifteen minutes later. Her doctor arrived, but there was still no sign of Will.

Even though Kalinda felt completely out of place she'd stayed with Alicia. "Kalinda, call Cary. Find out where they are. He can't miss this," Alicia said as a few tears sprang from her eyes. There hadn't been enough time to administer an epidural and she winced in pain when the next contraction hit

"Alicia we can't wait much longer, the baby is ready to come," the doctor said.

"Just a few more minutes. He has to be here," she pleaded. She couldn't bear the thought of Will missing this.

A few minutes came and went and they couldn't wait any longer. The baby was coming on its own. "Alicia, you have to push," the doctor said as the next contraction hit.

She gripped the nurse's hand and closed her eyes as the contraction became stronger and pushed. As it subsided she felt the warm familiar grip of Will's hand on her arm. "I'm here, just breath now,' he said, out of breath from rushing in. She opened her eyes as he leant over and kissed her forehead.

"I was worried you were going to miss it," she said as another contraction hit. She gripped his hand as she pushed through the contraction.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world!" he said. "You're doing great!" She was so grateful he was there. The pain was overwhelming and tears began to flow from her eyes.

"It hurts," she said looking at him with pleading eyes hoping he could magically take the pain away.

He rubbed her arm and continued to hold her hand. "I know, it's almost over, just a few more minutes."

"Just one more push," the doctor said. Alicia clenched Will's hand and cried out in pain as the contraction hit and she pushed with all the strength she had left. Will held tight and watched in amazement as the baby was pulled from her.

"It's a boy!" the doctor announced. Alicia leant back in the bed exhaling deeply as more tears streamed from her eyes. Will held onto her hand as the doctor placed the baby on her stomach.

"He's beautiful Will." Alicia said.

"I know," he replied with a smile. He shook his head, and a few tears escaped his eyes as he cut the cord, and the baby was cleaned up.

"Do you want to hold him Dad?" one of the nurses asked as the doctor finished up on Alicia.

"Yes!" The small bundle was placed in his arms, and Alicia watched overwhelmed by joy as he took the infant into his arms and sat in the chair next her bed.

Once everything was cleaned up, they were left alone in the delivery room together for a few minutes before they would move Alicia to her room.

"I can't believe it," Will said, his gaze still fixed on the bundle in his arms. "I have a son!" he continued. These were some of her favorite moments the quiet just after the birth when the parents were allowed to enjoy the baby so new to life.

"We have to give him a name," Alicia said, as the baby began to fuss. Alicia instinctively reached her hand over to the baby to comfort him. "It's my turn now," she said, reaching her other arm over and taking the baby from Will.

Will smiled as she settled the bundle in the crook of her arm and gently rocked him. "Let's name him after your father," he said as he continued to watch Alicia comfort the baby with ease. There was real sincerity in his eyes as she turned and looked at him. Her father's name hadn't occurred to her when they had their little argument over the babies name a month earlier, and decided to put the discussion on hold until after the baby had come.

"My father's name?" she questioned.

"Yes, it's a good name, and would have some meaning behind it,"

"I think that would be a good name!" she said with a gentle smile. "But let's give him your name as the middle name."

Will pondered it for a moment then looked down at his sleeping son. "Jack William Gardner," he stated. "I like the sound of that."

"Look he opening his eyes!" Alicia said and tilted the baby towards Will.

"He has your eyes!" Will said, as the baby yawned and quickly shut his eyes again.

"Yes, but he looks like you! He has the Gardner nose!" she said looking over to Will with a gentle smile.

Will smiled and inhaled. "If you would have told me two and a half years ago on that night in the car before the gubernatorial election that I would be sitting here today with you as my wife holding my son in your arms, I would have said you were crazy."

Alicia chuckled. "I would have thought I was crazy too. But life has a funny way of turning the most complicated things in life to the simplest of outcomes and I wouldn't have it any other way."

The End

 **A/N; I hope the ending wasn** **'** **t too rushed. Thank you all again for the support of this story! It has really meant a lot! A big thank you to my faithful reviewers for your comments, ideas, and insight throughout the writing process! You guys are the best!**


End file.
